Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have said no to an aquantance re her childcare request.

12 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 30/06/2012 07:59

I feel a bit narked she even asked Tbh, possibly I'm a cow....
We have known each other 3 years, not really a friend,just someone I know. We both work. She was part time, now full time after being unemployed for almost a year. I'm part time.

I have had her dd a few days when I've had days off, and she's had mine. Maybe 2-3 days a year.

Her husband, though they live apart ( she claims she's single parent, though they are now selling both houses to move back together) was out of work, but evidently has now found work, because I got a text ( not seen or spoken to her since before Xmas) saying he had found work and could I pick her dd up from school on Fridays and have her for a few hours.

Firstly I think that's bloody cheeky to ask, It's not even a one off, but would be something every week. Secondly I can't because dd has swimming lessons at 4:15 that day and.also Dd's dad often takes her swimming, or even picks her up from school and then dd goes to his every other weekend. So, even if I did pick up her dd, I would have to go even when I don't have to, because dd's dad is collecting her, then be stuck with this other girl, on my own, when I would be childfree.

I.said no, explained why, but feel like a cow. And now I think she's annoyed Because she didn't respond to my last text, which was asking her a question, and was in response to her text that I recieved about 3 seconds previously.

OP posts:
Losingitall · 30/06/2012 08:01

Nope YANBU.
Every now and again is fine but every week is a bloody cheek!

Shutupanddrive · 30/06/2012 08:03

Of course YANBU. Bet your glad you have a good excuse not to do it too! Grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 30/06/2012 08:03

YANBU to say No.

YABVU to feel bad a about saying No.

RedHelenB · 30/06/2012 08:05

Certainly seems an odd thing to arrange via text but if you don't approve of her stay away!!

watchoutforthatsnail · 30/06/2012 08:06

It is. Or I think so. She also asked for this Monday as a one off, which I can't do. I usually pick dd up from school, I finish at 2:30. But Monday ive a meeting and am working late. Dd will be collected and picked up by my mother, or my childminder.

I just think, If she's working she needs to sort childcare, and I know its expensive, I have to pay for an hour a day when I only use 10 mins of that time. But you can't keep putting on people, can you. It takes the piss.

Plus it puts them/ me in an awkward position and makes them feel awful when they say no.

OP posts:
watchoutforthatsnail · 30/06/2012 08:08

Redhelen.... I do. Not seen nor spoken to her since before Christmas. Possibly longer. We aren't friends at alll. She's just someone I know.

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 30/06/2012 08:08

plus if it a regular thing for 2 hours or more I think legally you have to be a registered childminder.

MsHighwater · 30/06/2012 08:11

YANBU. No cause to feel bad. I would have said no without hesitation even without the swimming lesson thing. Providing regular childcare is either for close family, close friend or else is a business arrangement.

AmberLeaf · 30/06/2012 08:14

YANBU.

TheProvincialLady · 30/06/2012 08:16

Of course YANBU. The cheek of some people.

DontmindifIdo · 30/06/2012 08:17

YANBU - if this was your best friend, then maybe, but even then trying to ask you via text isn't acceptable. Do'nt feel sorry for her, they've got 2 incomes now, only one house to run, childcare is as much a 'cost of working' as commuting costs. Would you also run her DP to work and back for free so he doesn't have to pay out for the bus?

watchoutforthatsnail · 30/06/2012 08:28

Oh, phew. I'm not bu then..

:)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread