Kosher pot-luck

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

I'm not sure I'm posting this in the right place but here goes!

If a family who keeps kosher is hosting a pot-luck dinner for a mix of Jewish and non-Jewish people, is it reasonable for them to specify only kosher food be brought into their house? I expect it is, but am interested in canvassing opinions here.

Here's the background:

We have an end-of-term parents' get-together for DD2's class coming up and one of the families has extremely kindly offered their house as the venue. Each couple has been asked to bring a starter, main or dessert for the buffet table (as you would expect for pot-luck!) and I said I would bring a seafood-based dish - I didn't know about the kosher requirements at this point.

One of our class reps then very kindly told me that the host family is kosher and therefore people are being requested not to bring meat or shellfish dishes. Absolutely no problem, I do a mean grilled asparagus and will bring that instead.

It just got me thinking though. I kind of would have thought that the family wouldn't really care what other people are eating, but it seems that they do. How would this compare with say a vegetarian family only wanting veggie dishes in their house?

I have known people with two kitchens. Not sure of people still do that... It made the kitchen fitters of north london very very happy!

Samosas
Onion Bahjis
Felaffel
Tabbouleh salad
Couscous with loads of herbs
Potato salad with vinegatette
Dolmades
Feta salad (with mint, raddish and walnuts)
Olives/hummous...
Potato Latkes

I love buffet/picnic food!

How would it work if you took something in a dish that has previously contained meat?

Would that still be considered unacceptable by many Jews?

Many items in your average supermarket are kosher labelled these days - Tesco has a kosher section in its more urban branches. Look for a circled K or U or a symbol composed of the letters MK. (as a subdesignation M means meat, D means dairy and parve means neither but can include fish or eggs)

From my perspective I don't think the family are being unreasonable. I am a vegan and don't want meat in my home (especially leftover kebab that you dumped in my living room because you were too drunk to finish, OH's friend ), so I'd accord the same respect to other people's preferences. I don't have any offline friends who keep kosher to the extent that unheschered stuff with no meat or dairy would be a problem, but if that changed I'd either use the products above or do something completely plant-based with none of the controversial things in. Oil and sugar need to be certified, can't remember if flour does (passover is a different story), vegetables are fine.

Ask them. I'm sure they would appreciate that you've asked.

If they have offered their house then I can't imagine them expecting non-Jews to be observant and for them to keep a 'fully kosher' house.

I'm veggie, with Jewish relatives - if I offered to host, then I wouldn't expect everyone to eat veggie and I don't keep Kosher.

I would pop the food in a disposable plate or bowl no washing up amd no rish of making the hosts feel uneasy. You are right about the supermarkets - even AFN where my parents lived had a reasonable kosher section.

I'm veggie, and wouldn't cook meat in my house but wouldn't mind if guests brought it with them. When we have barbecues we either get a separate disposable for anyone who wants to bring meat, or make sure any meat is cooked on foil, thereby not touching our barbecue or our food.

For a religious requirement, I'd say it makes more sense to keep forbidden foods out altogether.

That is an extremely good point about the serving dish Freddoes it would not have occurred to me - and I can guarantee ALL of our dishes would have had all kinds of meat in them (beef, pork, lamb, you name it). I'm afraid we are a bunch of non-religious carnivores over here!

I'm going to email the hostess. No, sod that, I'm going to treat myself to a new Le Creuset serving dish for my grilled asparagus!

Sorry Frontpaw, you made a great suggestion about a disposable serving dish too which went unacknowledged!

I was planning on using our BBQ to prepare the asparagus but it would be wrapped in aluminium foil - that would be ok wouldn't it?

X-post with Girl

They are not being unreasonable at all but they should have specified vegetarian only on the email. They are unreasonable to assume that everyone knows that they are kosher and what that entails.

I am sure they are not worried about the serving dishes. If they were that observant they would have offered their house for this and would not be happy about people bring food into their house like this.I am sure they probably eat vegetarian and fish at restaurants and other peoples houses out of their serving dishes. Smoked salmon, poached salmon, coleslaw , salads , vege pizza etc would all go down well.

What Frankie said.

Yes I suppose it's all a matter of degrees isn't it. I know one family round here that really does have two kitchens.

Have not yet shared with DH that there won't be any meat!

It's their house - if one of them was violently and dangerously allergic to, say, shellfish, nobody would think twice about not bringing any. Just because keeping kosher is a religious obligation rather than a health one shouldn't make any difference.
That said, Papworth hospital offered my Jewish friend a pig's heart valve when hers needed to be replaced (and didn't even tell her mechanical ones existed until they realised she would actually die rather than have the pig one) and persisted in offering pork at every meal too so I suppose lots of people just don't think it's important )

I can recommend an EXCELLENT book called"how to run a traditional jewish household"by blu greenfield. Very very comprehensive (though perhaps slightly ott for a put luck invitation.
Have fun op.

Blu Greenberg, surely?
www.amazon.co.uk/How-Run-Traditional-Jewish-Household/dp/0671417002/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1340999075&sr=8-3

Jesus Pombear that's AWFUL! I hope she is ok now.

While I agree it's their house so their rules I also think if it's that important to them they should have either a) not offered their house or b) made sure it was clear to everyone what was expected. Unless most people invited were kosher/very aware of kosher rules it's unrealistic to expect people to fully understand.

I would think that they have already thought about the implications of inviting Gentiles to the house before inviting everyone. If you are concerned, I would just ask them what they would prefer you to bring , I'm sure they would appreciate your willingness to be sensitive to their religion. It sounds great fun, Jewish food is lovely , I hope you get to eat latkes mmm!

I think it's perfectly reasonable to require people to respect that the family keep Kosher, just as I think it's reasonable for a vegetarian not to have meat brought into their house. It sounds like it will be an interesting and informative occasion and I agree, a lot of Jewish food is yummy.

Ooooh Graham & brightspark, I love latkes! And lots of Jewish food. Chicken & matzo ball soup, mmmmmmmmm.

Giraffe I parboil the asparagus first, then put it in tin foil with a bit of butter and squeeze of lemon and toss it on the BBQ for 10 mins or so. It's gorgeous!

Its reasonable of them, but they should be giving people the right information upfront as to what is and isn't ok. Expecting people to guess or do indepth research to make a plate of food is what is totally unreasonable, IMO.

Yeah PVL I would have appreciated a bit more guidance, definitely.

As it is, I've learned a lot of stuff I never knew