to remind people that school is only 189 days per year

[newport67]

On every SAH/WOH thread we see these comments
"no childcare to be done once kids at school"
"you can't call yourself a SAHP once dc are at school etc etc.
Now I accept it is not exactly stressful once dc are at school. That is why I do work a few hours a week.
However, in the holidays and whilst dc are not at school I a still a SAHP.

I think a lot depends on your kids tbh. I only have one dc and she is an absolute joy to be with. I don't find her hard work, even when I'm with her for extended periods. However, I know other kids who are hard work, and if you have two or three of them, I can imagine it's tough.

I wasn't meaning to be unfair, it's just that I keep seeing these threads where apparently SAH is just so hard when the truth is that is what all working parents do for the time they are NOT at work. I only work PT myself but my days off are just that... days off from work.

Being a stay at home parent isn't a job it's a lifestyle choice, unless you have a disabled child and you are a full time carer. I've been a stay at home parent and it can be very hard when you have little ones at home but when they start school its very very easy. I now work full time (40+ hours a week) and there is no comparison to staying at home with school age children. I work all day, collect my child from after school club and still do all that a stay at home mum does with my child but into a condensed amount of hours ( I'm a lone parent, so no sharing chores with a partner). I actually find it a little bit insulting that sahm ( of school age children) seek some kind of recognition for the 'hard' job they are doing. It's an insult to all lone parents that work full time, provide a loving home for their children and still do the weekend mums taxi to clubs/friends houses/ arrange sleep overs etc. plus all the cooking, cleaning and all the household drudge.

I actually find it a little bit insulting that sahm ( of school age children) seek some kind of recognition for the 'hard' job they are doing.

I agree. I full appreciate it's hard being a SAHP with small children (though being actually harder than WOHP is v dependent on the job) but surely when the children are at school then there are six hours in the day in which all the household tasks can be done. WOH parents still have all of these things to do when when they get home.

I am a mum of three, I thought I would be easier to work once the kids were in school when in reality it's harder, I would have to find childcare to not only fit in with school hours but also an under two year old.
I do work, evenings, but this means my working day often starts at 6am and ends at 10pm. I am like a SAHP and a part time worker.

Just say "yes I know lucky me!"

You are trying very hard to justify your position OP. You don't actually need to you know.
BUT, since you asked if YABU...
I'm a teacher so am at work when the DC's are at school and am (by your reckoning) a SAHP in the holidays.
This would make you a ? When the DC's are at school and a SAHM in the school holidays.
Stop trying to big up what you do. Just live your life the way you want to.

there have been comments about sahm with children at school intimating that they are lazy buggers who do sod all. however, all parents usually do the weekends so only counting the school holiday weekdays would be fairer.

Why is it better to have things harder?

I am bloody lucky. My children are both at school and - OK, I'm not strictly a SAHM, but I can live like one because I do home-based work that fits well around school hours and household stuff. We have quite low financial outgoings and can manage on the combination of dh's salary and the small amount that I bring in.

My life is much easier than that of many people, and easier than it was in previous years when I was firstly a full-time WOHM and then a full-time SAHM with pre-school children. That doesn't make me a bad person. Why would it?

And the OP isn't even about things being hard as a SAHP. It's about things being hard as a working parent. Trying to fit work around a school year is bloody hard and I know several people who just couldn't make it work. It might work, if we could pick and choose our jobs, but who can do that?

But yeah, go right ahead with the sniping between WOHM and SAHM. The MRA just love it, because whilst we're busy doing that nothing will ever change.

Who has Implied that sahm are lazy sods? I certainly haven't. I really don't understand the constant need for recognistion and justification of their choices. Being a sahp with school age children is a luxury that most mums can't afford ( or in some cases don't want ) so why not realise how lucky they are to be in the financial position to stay at home with school age children instead of keep starting threads about how hard it is to have 6 hours a day of free time to get all the household drudge done when many full time/part time working lone parents read these threads and are amazed at some of the innuendos that we are somehow less of a mum for working bloody hard to pay the bills and put dinner on the table every night.

What Victoria said. 100%

I an going back to work after dc 4 soon. Pt job. I still consider myself to be 'off work' now. Not looking forward to going back and juggling 4 kids. Amount of shopping/ washing/ cooking etc still the same but less time to fit it in.

I'm a teacher, so I have the best (and worst!) Of both worlds. I can categorically state that working with children is a lot harder than staying at home with children.
I can see why SAHMs think it's hard, because it is in a way. Half way through the summer holidays I start to wonder how I usually fit in working! But wow, September is knackering!
The thing is, we still have the same stuff to do that you do. The house needs cleaning, the clothes need washing, drying and ironing. The food needs buying and prepping and cooking and clearing away. The only thing a SAHM does that I don't do is look after her children for about 3 extra hours a day. Oh, and I have lots of school work to do in the evenings as well.
Now I work for lots of reasons, and I wouldn't choose not to. But it pisses me off when people make out I have it easy because they have another load of washing to put on- so have I, I just had to be up at 6 to do it!

I'm a LP and SAHM and I find the five hours a day in term time invaluable for fitting in the numerous things I can't do with a dc in tow. It does feel all too short though and the holidays seem to come around all too quickly, and I get involved a lot with school activities too so that time gets filled up rapidly.

I agree that it does make my life easier than trying to fit everything in as well as f/t or p/t work, but knowing so many other mums with school aged kids who work throughout the school day and have no time to themselves, I see no reason to put that additional pressure on myself. It is the only time I have to socialise, go to adult ed classes, gym, run errands and attend appointments or meetings.

I've been lucky enough to find a job that broadly fits in around my youngest sons school day. I only have to find 2 mornings of childcare a week.

I'd find working full time really hard logistically. Hats off to those of you who manage it.

Yes how dare us sahms want any recognition for what we do.
Firstly being a sahm is bloody hard when the children are preschoolers but i still think sahms work hard when the children are at school. They are often the people who provide valuable volunteer services for the community running plzygroups, helping in schools,breastfeeding support are just some of the roles sahm i know do. If you tzke out travel time you only have about 5 hrs and many sahms may put more effort into their family during that time i.e cooking homemade food whereas a wohm might throw on a ready meal. I also think it means alot to kids to have a parent who has time to chat to them after school and spend time reading and doing homework,a wohm wouldnt be able to do as much of this.

Its also ridiculos to say it is a luxury to be a sahm and thzt we must be financially well off. We made sacrifices to be a sahm.

I think the op accepts that its easy being a SAHM to school aged children.
I am too and term time is great. Still busy in holidays though.
However, I do see her point about some of the phrases used.
"uuemployed" - really - The govt would love that. Plus it would be lovely to be able to claim JSA!!

I think sahms work hard when the children are at school. They are often the people who provide valuable volunteer services for the community running plzygroups, helping in schools,breastfeeding support are just some of the roles sahm i know do. If you tzke out travel time you only have about 5 hrs and many sahms may put more effort into their family during that time i.e cooking homemade food whereas a wohm might throw on a ready meal. I also think it means alot to kids to have a parent who has time to chat to them after school and spend time reading and doing homework,a wohm wouldnt be able to do as much of this.

, I actually don't know how you cope with 'only' having five hours a day to cook a homemade meal and talk to the children, I take every word back. How I ever managed to get my child to level 5 on the KS2 SAT's is a mystery ( proud mummy moment )of course I didn't find the time to do such silly things as homework with him, how did I ever manage to use the cooker when all working mums only use the microwave to warm our ready made meals.
I actually laughed at the ridiculousness of only having 5 hours a day. Thanks for the giggle

Yes how dare us sahms want any recognition for what we do.
Recognition for doing what everyone has to do regardless of their circumstance? No, we all make sure that washing, cleaning, cooking, ironing is done. We all provide care for our DCs. We all take part in our children's lives in and out of school.
Some people use the time they have free to do everything themselves, Others pay for help when they are time short and many multi-task.
The real super-mums are the ones who manage to do everything. Work and everything else with no help at all. I couldn't (and don't) do that. They are the ones I admire.

Also, agree only 5 hours is the most ridiculous thing I have heard on this thread.

And there's more...SAHM put more effort into their family during that time i.e cooking homemade food whereas a wohm might throw on a ready meal. you are joking?!!! yeh, chips here every night... Hasn't it occurred to you angel that people organise themselves so that food can be prepared after work? I cook in bulk so that pasta, rice, potatoes or veg are the only things I need to put on when I get home. The rest is nearly always cooked at the weekend.
I'm starting to wonder if some people are not living on the same planet as me

you all need to get a grip of yourselves...my parenting style is better than your parenting style...I deserve recognition for this that or the other.

You chose to have children. Choose or accept whatever method or strategy that works for you and yours. Then get the hell on with that.
There aren't any medals being handed out and one way doesn't beat any other way. Plus, NO-ONE CARES.

I find these threads really sad. Women criticising each other for legitimate choices and everyone getting defensive.

I've been a WOHM and a SAHM. I have a partner who is away with work for weeks on end in a different time zone. I've had a child with a number of health problems who required 24 hour care for approx 2 years. Sometimes being at home is tough and sometimes being at work is tough. Not all jobs are equally stressful, babies and children are all different and some are definitely harder work than others - whether school age or not. Some people have partners who are around a lot to help and some don't. We all have different stresses and I don't see it as a competition. I know many SAHMs who have school age children with health issues, bullying problems at school etc who need a lot of time. They also have partners who work away all the time and I wouldn't say their life is easy. I also know some WOHM who have easy going kids, supportive partners who are around a lot, and flexible working arrangements.

Why compete with each other?