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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset for my DS and want to give some people a good bloody telling off

84 replies

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 13:36

My DS has just arrived home completely soaked and covered in grass and mud....in tears and pain

Apparently as it is the last day of P7...a certain group of parents decided a water fight would be a great way to end the day for the kids....

Now that doesn't sound too terrible I thought....didn't raise any objections about the kids having some water fun, etc

OMG...this band of merry parents turned up with huge buckets water, water bombs, water guns and everything.....and proceeded to get totally into a huge water fight....took over the kids fun entirely and got completely out of hand with their antics

Result....kids following parents...my DS on the ground as some big dad person trips over DS rendering DS on the ground, obviously hurt and in pain...and is pelted by water bombs, bucket of water over him....water guns firing in his face and him pleading for help.........DS manages to get up and is crying by this time....and he's chased across the park by them!!!!...

I'm on my way along to meet DS from school and thinking I'm going to watch the kids having fun, etc and then I see him, crying, soaked and obviously hurt...

I'm so sorry for DS...his last day of primary and this is what he has to remember it with....I'm so annoyed with these parents that took over and turned an otherwise fun time into this dangerous situation...

I phoned school....they did not sanction, agree or want this happening at all and insisted they would not be responsible for any of it....I can see why now and am now being told there has been problems in previous years with a certain group of parents doing this....at the cost of drowned camera's, people getting injured and generally being out of control and ridiculous...

Long post sorry....bloody fuming and needing to vent

OP posts:

Journey · 29/06/2012 15:00

I agree with cakeismysaviour. In my opinion it doesn't seem like a fun water fight but a bullying and abusive use of power. I'd call the police.

QuickLookBusy · 29/06/2012 15:01

I would be very cross with the school and would phone them today.

They can't just say "it's nothing to do with us" They have admitted it has got out of hand in previous years so it is their duty to warn other Dc/parents about previous years, in a letter.

Don't let them fob you off OP. They may not be able to do anything this year but you can make sure other parents are warned about it.

yellowraincoat · 29/06/2012 15:06

Oh God, poor him. I was hit with a water bomb a few years ago and it hurt so much, I actually had tears in my eyes. And I'm an adult!

Some adults are so irresponsible. It really amazes me how quickly some let themselves revert to kids and forget all sense of responsibility. I had some pupils doing presentations in an assembly today and it was the parents (and other teachers fgs) that I had to consistently tell to shut up and stop talking over the kids.

No real advice, but do something lovely with him this weekend to remind him what a lovely person he is.

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 15:09

i think the kids knew...actually I'm sure tbh...all the 'right ' parents and all the 'right children certainly knew...I'm not sure the rest of us would/could have known....

I imagine there are kids who have gone home possibly feeling similar to DS or at least...very wet

My DS would have easily wanted to join in what he thought would be fun but couldn't know he was entering into this dangerous situation with adults getting OTT....he would have stayed clear of trouble if he'd known..

OP posts:

kmdwestyorks · 29/06/2012 15:16

I agree with QuickLookBusy.

we have problems with our local school at the end of summer term each year, and the SMT now come out to make sure there is a presence while everyone disperses.

If you have no more children in the school then i would let it go and invest the time in your DS. If you do have other chldren in the school then pop along in August and make plenty of noise about what they plan to do next year including community liaison and planning

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 15:19

whats upsetting now is that this all happened at 12.30 today...

if you saw a child you knew walking away in tears alone and had witnessed what had happened to him...(I'm talking about these parents and kids..esp the ones involved)....you might be right in thinking they would care enough to phone and ask if he's alright or something.... wouldn't you????..

.....seems more like bullying crap again now since nobody has bothered...

OP posts:

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 15:24

b**stard's....I hate feeling the injustice to my DS and the powerlessness to stop it...
angry again now...ffs...

not like anybody would admit anything..

OP posts:

Groovee · 29/06/2012 15:25

:-( our ones were piped out of school by the school pipe band. Then the whole year group went to Mcdonald's and took over the place. If a water fight had occurred by parents causing this, then I would consider going to the police. It sounds like the parents wanted one not the kids.

CakeBump · 29/06/2012 15:31

The police???

Do you not think they have better things to do?

holyfishnets · 29/06/2012 15:57

My friends school did this a few years ago and it worked really well. It's great the grown ups and kids had fun but I do think there should have been some agreed hand signal that could have been used by a child/adult if they wanted to stop water fighting happening to them. Everyone needs to be able to opt out of a situation if it is too much.

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 16:40

thats nice holyfish .....glad it all worked out so well in your case...of course it was your friends school and maybe your awareness wasn't of anybody who didn't enjoy it or have fun...maybe it's your perspective, but might not have been for all involved...

My DS was hurt and crying, lying on the ground shouting STOP and HELP and it didn't stop and nobody helped... when he managed to get back on his feet and start away from them...they chased him ...I'm not sure a hand signal would have worked....

OP posts:

2rebecca · 29/06/2012 16:50

This sort of thing would have had my kids' school sending a stern letter to all parents telling them that assaulting children was unaccaeptable, that parents had complained and that the police would be informed and names taken if it ever happened again. If parents want to organise water fights with their own kids in their own garden fine, randomly assaulting primary school children isn't fine. I would be very angry with the school over this. It is their responsibility. I probably would contact the police if it happened last year and the school did nothing to tell them to watch the school on the last day next time

2rebecca · 29/06/2012 16:54

Why is it inappropriate to phone the police? If a gang of adults regularly assaulted me on 1 day a year I'd contact the police and this was adults chasing a primary school age boy. Chasing a crying boy who you previously brought to the ground and made cry across the park with water guns isn't fun. It is nasty and bullying.
Squirting water at laughing children who are shouting "more more" and coming to get squirted is fine.
This school is not a safe environment on the last day of term.

Hexenbiest · 29/06/2012 17:03

I'd think about phoning the police - if only so next year a couple of community offers could be around that time next year to keep an eye on the situation.

I'm surprised the school didn't do that this year if they thought there would be problems.

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 17:04

yes...I am going to write a letter and send it into the school but also send it to the education department so this situation is not simply overlooked by the school and nothing is put in place.... to make sure this cannot happen again for other unsuspecting ppl

Maybe next year I will go along and burst their bombs, tip over the water and have the last laugh....hahahahaha.....

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 29/06/2012 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MindTheElephant · 29/06/2012 17:46

Oh your poor DS, i'd be bloody raging as well. You have every right to complain.

When DS2 left primary, the teachers organised a water fight on school premises for the year 6 groups. But the difference is that it was heavily supervised by teachers, some taking part and some not.
The teachers not taking part stood on the sidelines to ensure nobody got hurt.

Each child had to have parental consent to take part and there were clear rules that had to be followed, if the rules were broken then the whole event would have been stopped there and then. It turned out really great fun for all involved

This is how it should have been done. If the head didn't agree in or out of school, then they really need to do something to stop this. They knew what was being planned but yet did nothing to prevent innocent kids getting caught up in all of this!!
I am shocked at the parents appalling behaviour and i am shocked at the attitude of the school.

Hope your DS is feeling a little bit better!

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 18:17

Thanks everyone ... without you this headache would have felt much worse by now I'm sure....

going to have a movie night together and lotsa snacks and sweets...cuddle up on couch in our PJs and forget the day...

Fish and chips 1st...!!

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 29/06/2012 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

soozeedol · 29/06/2012 18:54

ooooh chippy sauce is the best!! ...have to have it!!!!

OP posts:

shuffleballchange · 29/06/2012 19:00

Surely that's assault? Poor Ds, he needs a big treat. What a bunch of pricks

SCOTCHandWRY · 29/06/2012 19:42

Sooz...... sorry to hear about this, I read your post and thought to myself, I wonder if this was targeted against your son, rather than he was a random victim?

I was not surprised to see your additional post saying your DS has ASD. Do you feel this was random or were some "scores being settled" on the last day of school (have these particular parents DC been in trouble for bullying your DS?). Do they resent him as the "weird kid" in their DC class? I ask because my DS with AS was bullied badly at primary school, and a number of parents were quite vile to both DS and us (his parents) because their DC had got into trouble (for some fairly serious stuff), but it was my DS fault for telling a teacher (some incidents not involving my DS, but seen by him and reported to a teacher, were serious enough for SS involvement to be required)!
I subsequently saw one parent stand, quite deliberately on my DS foot (stamped on it actually), then make a huge song and dance about this "accident"!

Maybe it was all random, but if you suspect this behaviour was "accidently on purpose" directed at your son, I don't think it's going too far to call the police and tell them, they may not do much but having the police turn up at their doors to have a wee chat might make them think twice about being such arses in the future.

comedycentral · 29/06/2012 19:57

I had a lump in my throat reading this. I can just imagine him in the situation you describe. Have a lovely night together tonight, he may feel quite wobbly for a while after this.

Have you ever had a nightmare where you scream or ask for help but nothing comes out of your mouth? It reminds me of that. Poor, poor baby.

LindyHemming · 29/06/2012 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

soozeedol · 30/06/2012 10:33

scotchandrye ...I think you hit the nail on the head!

Unfortunately we never got the support from the school which was much needed.
My DS had 3 class teachers (sharing class hours) + support for learning teacher (sometimes) + HT ....I could never speak to the same person twice and whenever I did they would say they didn't know about any previous incidents, etc...leaving me being able to see the pattern and the same group of children involved...but the school denying any issues....
I spoke at length with the HT about my concerns involving a particular group of children but overall there was nothing done to help and it wasn't properly acknowledged by school. That was just the incidents that I knew about...my DS isn't able to explain well and doesn't necessarily always understand what is happening, so there has probably been more but I wouldn't know about it. School, I believe actively used this fact to dilute things often or simply not report at all.

I decided to send emails out to Ed Psych and Communication Outreach Teacher working with assessments and transition for HS...highlighting all my concerns and the obvious pattern of the same group of children being at the center of the issue's, etc...(it would only take some reading of the incident book to have seen this).a meeting was called....the situation changed right there as a result....it all came to a stop and has been dealt with by these outside specialist's....I wished I'd actually done it sooner but the last 6-8weeks in school went fairly well for DS.

Perhaps this has been some deliberate revenge thing...it wouldn't surprise me at all.

I have enough battles though and am just relieved he is out of the school and any contact with these children will be minimal, with them all going up to a large HS. His HS are aware and have a good understanding about all this too and so will be vigilant about things and will be keeping a close eye on this situation ever arising.

Karma...maybe these ppl aren't due just yet...but it's coming hahahahaha!!!

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