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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my son a cardigan for his school uniform

291 replies

clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 14:17

I was asking some friends about this last night and was surprised at the strength of some reactions so I thought I'd ask the Mumsnet jury.
My son is 4 and due to start full-time school in September. i have started to think about which bits of uniform to start getting him and thought I might look around for a boy's cardigan for him. In my head this is not that different to the hooded cardigan things he wears now, it just wont have a hood. It would be easy for him to get on and off, and might look quite cute.
Anyway there were lots of raised eyebrows when I suggested this last night.
Would you buy one (actually this would be tricky as no-one seems to sell them, but in principle...?)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/06/2012 20:35

The boys wear a zip up fleece here but definitely not cardigans.

Coconutty · 28/06/2012 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 20:53

I have asked him. He genuinely has no interest given that none of it will have a picture of Yoda on it. But I admit I do like the idea of him looking a bit different.

Surely we all dress our children to our own taste until they express their own preferences?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/06/2012 20:58

True, so why the thread?

Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 21:01

Simply because I was surprised that so many of my friends said "definitely no" to a cardigan for a boy.

OP posts:
veritythebrave · 28/06/2012 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 28/06/2012 21:21

Don't do it. Most children won't be bothered at that age, but it only takes a couple of innocent 'you're wearing a cardigan and cardigans are for girls' comments that I could imagine a couple of my lovely reception class girls coming out with and he will feel embarrassed I don't mean I think anything woudo be said in a mean way, just in the way that young children say what they are thinking. There is no need for it.

Why would you want your child to feel embarrased just because you think it will be cute for him to look different?

WorraLiberty · 28/06/2012 21:23

OMG Freddos you've just reminded me of that thread where the poster wanted to allow her son to wear a dress to school.

I thought I'd cleansed it from my memory Grin

halcyondays · 28/06/2012 21:26

I've never seen a boy wearing a school cardigan. Why would you want him to look different? The point of wearing a uniform is to look the same. And children do notice and pass comment on things like this, not necessarily in an unkind way.

Coconutty · 28/06/2012 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 28/06/2012 21:44

It should be up to him whether he looks different or not. Making him look different because you want him to is arrogant in the extreme.

He will probably be fine in a cardigan.

However there is a good chance that at the year 6 leavers assembly somebody will say "I remember that littleclem wore girls cardigans in reception"

drjohnsonscat · 28/06/2012 21:46

This thread is weird. Loads of boys where cardis round our way and even if they didn't 4 year olds don't bully each other for having cardigans. My son who will be wearing (horror) a hand me down cardigan barely knows whether to wear his trousers on his head or his bum so he certainly won't be teasing other children for their fashion choices Grin.

And can we please not add cardigans to the totally arbitrary list of things that boys can't wear. Don't care about older kids - peer pressure kicks in then so all bets are off. But 4 year olds.?

Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 21:49

It has been interesting food for thought, but I think it has confirmed my view that there is nothing wrong in him wearing what is a unisex item of clothing and so I have bought a navy zip up cardigan.
I am still puzzled by those who say a definite "no" but am not convinced by the idea that it is wrong to be different. As I said higher up the thread different is the norm at his school, and as others have said, the loose uniform we have means that in a year group of over 60 not one is dressed identically to another.

OP posts:
Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 21:50

Seeker, out of interest, how would you choose the clothes of a four year old boy? For example the are twelve different styles of uniform trousers on sale in M&S - how would you choose between them?

OP posts:
seeker · 28/06/2012 22:03

Well, if at your school boys routinely wear uniform cardigans then that's fine. But personally I have never seen it- boys wear sweatshirts or fleeces, girls wear either of those or a cardigan. Your child may well be an individualist who loves to flout convention- but he may also be a rule following conformist. You don't know yet- and it's up to him to decide, not you. Dressing him unconventionally in Reception forces that decision onto him- the other kids never forget.

I would choose whichever pair of boys trousers fitted him best. Can't see how that is relevant. The point is, that even if they happened to be the best fit, I would not buy him girl's trousers.

Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 22:10

Rest assured I won't buy him a girl's cardigan.
You do seem to be a lone voice in the conviction that he will be somehow damaged for the whole of his school career. I am choosing to trust the view of the primary headteacher who posted earlier.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/06/2012 22:11

If he is too young to bother what he has why not just see what most wear and let him fit in? By the time he is bothered you will have spent the money.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 28/06/2012 22:32

But all the cardigans will be girls cardigans! I do suspect, I'm afraid, that you're trying to be a bit cool and whacky and make a name for him, and I think the decision about whether he wants to be cool and whacky and different should be his, not yours.

Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 22:35

The thread is to make sure it is not whacky. It's not so I've bought one. It is definitely for boys link

OP posts:
Original poster
clemetteattlee · 28/06/2012 22:36

link

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/06/2012 22:38

I think that the choice to be different should be his and if it is the mother's choice then just go for boring and the norm-until such time as he wants different.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 28/06/2012 22:38

Well, can I ask the why you particularly want him to wear a cardigan?

thisisyesterday · 28/06/2012 22:39

oh come clemette, now you wouldn't want your child to look different now would you?

in fact, i think you should demand phone numbers of all the parents in the school, and especiallly new starters. that way you can call them and all arrange for your sons to have the exact same haircut, shoes, and school uniform

he WILL be damaged and permanently scarred if he wears something slightly different. and you must remember that it's important to teach your child to ALWAYS look exactly like others in case someone random says something to them about it.

WorraLiberty · 28/06/2012 22:40

You do seem to be a lone voice in the conviction that he will be somehow damaged for the whole of his school career. I am choosing to trust the view of the primary headteacher who posted earlier

Lol are you for real?

No disrespect to Mushroom but she could be as much a Head teacher as you or I....

seeker · 28/06/2012 22:43

Not a lone voice
Not saying he will be damaged for the whole of his school career.

The primary school head is saying what happens in her school. If I were you, I would find out what happens in yours.

Thisisyesterday- don't be so silly.