to think dhs mate is jealous

[biddysmama]

dhs has been friends with s since they were kids, they are now 40, they went out drinking together etc and neither ever had a proper girlfriend

then dh met me and got married,his friend was best man

we have 3 young children and dhs friend has started telling him how pathetic his (dhs) life is, he never goes out anymore, just 'family things' teases him about being under the thumb etc and goes on about drinking at the weekend, about living on takeaways when we eat healthily

dhs friend lives alone and hasnt had a girlfriend for years
dh doesnt understand why his friend is being like this :(

aibu to think actually his friend would give his right arm for a family but is covering it with nastyness?

Wow he sounds like a wonderful friend

I'm not sure why people pin just downright nastiness, or dislike for someone, on the person being jealous.

He's being a right prat, but I can't say he's jealous because I don't think there's enough there to know that.

Your DH needs to get rid

He might not be jealous. He might really love his life and wish your DH was still sharing it with him.

Lots of people are happy to be 'single and free' their entire lives.

Ah not that that excuses his nastiness!

he goes on about it constantly, they work together aswell so hes listening to this all day aswell, its like he has to put everything down :(

hes probably resentful that he doesnt have the same access to his best friend anymore and blames you.
I expect your dh doesnt drink as much as he used to either. He probably misses that too.
Some men are natural bachelors, perhaps your dh should encourage him to join a squash club.

Does he take any interest in you/the kids OP?