to think that food doesn't cost more just because it is a Wedding not a party??

[FoofFighter]

Looking for caterers for a wedding evening reception and most of the menus we've been looking at charge more for the same food on their party menus, just because it's a wedding!
Why? [fume]

Shall we be sneaky and book it as a party??

I think it depends on the nature of the product/service.

Suppliers are wise to it. If you pretend it's just a 'party' they'll probably ask outright whether it's a wedding party so you would have to actually lie to their faces.

I'm anticipating my catering quote to ping in my inbox shortly. Its for outside catering but we were upfront that it is a wedding as the woman wasn't an idiot and in order to ensure we were all on the same lines when it comes to our expectations for the kind of food/service/timings/staffing we had in mind, it would have been impossible to pretend face-to-face that it wasn't a wedding. I imagine it would strain relations if we were to pretend otherwise then casually let them know the truth once it was all signed and paid for.

Once we get a couple of quotes I'll get Mr. Pru AKA Jedi-mind-trick-cost-slasher-negotiator-extraordinaire on the case. We don't ted to get ripped off. Ever.

Conversely, when it comes to my hair, I shall try not to let on it's for a wedding. I think it would be slightly easier in these sorts of circs, as Whispers suggests especially as I'm not having a trad updo, but not sure how I'll explain away the crystal and pearl vintage comb... oh yeah I always wear one of these to parties...

IME (and I used to run a catering company), the extra money charged is for the aggravation caused by mil's/brides/mothers of the bride/grooms/anyone else who wants to stick their oar in!

We didn't charge extra though unless it all got a bit weddingzillaish. Also, some venues can be arses about weddings and outside caterers.

HaveAlwaysSaidIfYouCanStopMiL'sFromKillingEachOtherOverVolAuVauntsYouCanDoAnythingTiggaxx

That's a good point, tigga. It's not fair really, but the extra cost is built in to cover the inevitable additional contact/changes/stresses that are unique to weddings.

I plan to be the model calm bride and can't imagine giving suppliers a hard time (ha) but I am prepared to pay a small premium for the above based on suppliers' experiences. Only a small premium, mind.

For our wedding we hired a private room in a very naice restaurant and told them it was for a party. It cost an extra £100 for the private dining room with our own waiters and extras such as amuse bouche etc.
The same thing in their wedding package is about £1000 extra.
I happily sauntered in in my wedding dress with confetti in my hair!!After all, it is a party.

i went to wedding lunch only about 20 people at a very posh place really lovely food not mega expenisive but at 6 star hotel.
we did order our food before we came.

the bride and groom turn up in their gear and put up the balloons and flavours and heart bits for the table and it was lovely. cost about 25 pounds a head.

I'm thinking a career change to being a wedding caterer is in order

I can't see why a customer wanting contact with you the supplier should cost more and why a caterer would think it's extra hassle. Anyone hiring caterers would have the same input for any event they were planning surely?

it's a con and they know it.

Erm not neccessarily... if i'm booking food for a work conf I don't really mind too much what they provide, just so long as allergies etc are catered for. For my wedding, however, I'd want a bit more input.

It does seem ridiculous, if it's exactly the same food and level of service that would be provided for a non-wedding party. I can see the reasoning, but it's annoying that those with straightforward requirements should have to pay more if they happened to get married earlier the same day, just because other people have big weddings and bridezillas/nightmare MILs.

I agree Ephiny, but I guess I'm just kind of resigned to that's the way it is.

How did your big day go?!

I guess I'm just prepared to pay a bit more not to have to feel the awkwardness of subterfuge. I have no idea whether we'll be subject to a wedding tax with this particular caterer, I just assume we might.

We have a fair price in mind for the kind of thing we're after, and if it's way more than that, we'll give her an opportunity to revise her quote and if she can't, then we'll go elsewhere.

It's not inevitable, the place we got married had the same rates for venue hire and catering regardless of the type of event (was not exactly cheap though!), but it does seem to happen a lot.

I had a similar thing with our wedding cake - tried to buy a 'celebration cake' but casually mentioned on the phone that it was for my wedding. Suddenly it wasn't possible to order over the phone any more, I had to come into the shop (which was not convenient) to 'discuss requirements', they made a fuss about it being too short notice etc. I thought about getting DH to phone back and try without the 'w' word, but it annoyed me on principle. Ended up just buying an M&S cake instead!

We had a lovely day though :)

Foof, I know I should have done, but I am a bit of a wuss not very assertive and my mum had buggered off by then

Mention the word 'wedding' and it certainly brings out the £ signs!

When my long term partner and I decided to get married three years ago we wanted something reasonably low key. I was 37 at the time but with two sons in their late teens I didn't want to do the whole virgin bride thing We also decided to use our budget in providing our close family with a relaxing couple of days.

I wanted a deep red 'bridesmaid/evening' style dress (it was also Christmas and an evening wedding) and knew exactly what I wanted yet in all the shops the salespeople kept bringing out coloured wedding dresses at six times the price of a bridesmaid dress. While I was happy to spend money on other things (hotel, food, spa treats and guest rooms) I really didn't want to spend a lot of money on myself!

I did find the perfect dress that cost less than my DM's outfit in a lovely little independent shop.

Good luck with your wedding OP

DH and I didn't tell the hotel where we had our reception that it was a wedding. It was still very expensive, so I dread to think what it would have been if we were honest.
The frontline catering staff and the chefs were great about it. The "banqueting manager" was spitting feathers. A combination of my mum being a formidable old bag and reminding her that they were already earning loads out of us, and DH, who was recovering from serious illness, giving her the big tearful eyes, made her back off.

This was ages ago though, they are probably wise to it now.

What area are you in? We used this company and they are absolutely lovely people and very reasonably priced. Their staff are fantastic too, we were so impressed with them we sent a cheque to tip them all afterwards. Their prices are not affected by it being a wedding as far as I know - we got a standard list.

I agree with dawntigga that it's an aggravation charge. People are much harder work over weddings than anything else in my experience (I sell wedding dresses) - so suppliers charge what they feel they need to in order to compensate and make it worth the stress!

They tend to charge more because weddings are a pain in the arse.

Well I've just had my quote. I'm pleasantly surprised. It comes to almost exactly the cost per head that I'd originally budgeted for blind. And that's with the local family company who we'd prefer to use, precisely the food and service we're after and I really feel confident about the lady in charge. And I don't have to pretend it's not a wedding - bonus :)