AIBU to not take my children on holidays....

[nonsense0name]

I can afford to go but can't justify the price, I hate flying, travelling and the sheer hassle of the whole thing, the packing, organising, being disapointed when it's not fab.

or am I robbing my kids of precious childhood memories?

we have loads of days trips and outings to the beach, park, beer garden in the summer, zoos, picnics etc etc

but I can't bring myself to part with the near £1k it costs to book a decent holiday cottage in this country or go further afield

What do you think - am I missing the point?

Lots of people cant afford holidays or expensive days out. School funding has been cut in our area so the usual end of term subsidised days have also been cancelled. Lots of children have never even been to the seaside or up to London (20 mins on a train) and it was often the only time they ever went.

Quite sad really that things many of us take for granted are actually out of the reach of a lot of people.

Depends on age of kids. I took mine nowhere until the youngest was 3
Their grandparents came to look after them in the house and DH and I went away alone for a week each year. IMO holidays with very young children are just not holidays for the parents with all the stuff you have to pack, worry about heat, illness etc.

Then we took them in this country for a few years, then abroad when youngest was 7

Some of our fondest memories are from family holidays and I'm loathe to give them up because I just love the enjoyment and freedom dc get from it. However money is tight so all we can afford is a little chalet on a campsite in France. Cost is £350 plus £80 for ferry crossing on last week of August. We're driving because the cost of flights is becoming ridiculous, have you considered driving abroad op? we also love taking dc camping at festivals

I don't think YABU as you are taking them out locally and creating memories. We have a policy that until the DSs have experienced the UK we won't take them abroad. (Having said that, due to 'work' commitments, they are fairly well travelled). We use travelodges. Basic. Yes, but I buy rooms in their £10 a night sale. As a family of 5 we need 2 rooms. So for £100 we go away for a week. e.g. one year we toured Scotland, we've 'done' London etc. Money we save on expensive accomodation we use to pay the entrance fee to places.

We can't afford a holiday every year, so we do days out. But we've never paid £1000 for a cottage. Go to a cheap caravan park. We figured we'd be spending most days out so we only needed somewhere to sleep and eat breakfast. A bed's a bed! We went to Wales and the kids (5 boys) still talk about what a great holiday it was and want to go back. At the moment it looks like it'll be a few years before we can afford another one.

Only DS1 has been abroad, his uncle took him as he has 1 DS and wanted company for him, and he's been with Scouts too.

Neither DH nor I went abroad on family holidays and we were never bothered. (Although I still maintain the Isle of Wight counts as abroad! )

OP- I'm starting to think you are a bit mad now. It's as if you're saying one cottage is £1000 therefore you won't consider a holiday at all. Loads of posters have told you that holidays are much cheaper than that!

Don't rule out a caravan- some of them are very high spec now and the sites have restaurants and indoor pools. Kids love them.

We had a great Sun holiday for £184 for four of us, (add in food, spending and petrol ) and had a wonderful time. You can also upgrade when you get there.

Where is this £1000 cottage business? Have you never shopped around? Try Hoseasons too- excellent.

I personally think holidays are a fabulous thing for a family.
It's not so much where you go. It's the extended period of time, being togethere, without the distractions that your home brings. It's the sense of advanture and things being different.

Now, I love to travel with my DC and have made it a huge priority. Sometimes I wonder where the hell they will go at 18!!! What will be left???

But I think yiou can still make that family time and adventure without the huge expense. House swaps are very good. And if you are prepared to go out of season, you can rent cheaply both here and abroad. Also many hotels put on great deals to attract families.

wordfactory- I agree, it is a shared adventure.

Whilst day trips can be great, the mood is different on holidays. The distance from home lets you reflect, take stock and really concentrate on being a family without email, phones, correspondence and the general daily grind.

My DH likes day trips, but is often tense about what's going on the next day, or what needs to be done. On holidays he is a different person because he knows he has a whole week in front of him.

I think sometimes you have to get off the hamster wheel and look around at what you have. Holidays help you do this.

I could have written the OP. I am under a bit of pressure to take the DC away somewhere, thank god I am pregnant at mo so I have got out of it this year but fear I may have to bite the bullet next summer :(

It just sounds like hell to me. There is no way in hell I could go on a beach - they would throw me back in, I dont go to swimming pools for the same reason. Walking around the countryside or sitting on a wet cold beach...likely in the rain, just sounds like misery, I cant see the enjoyment there at all? I just dont get it. And as for sitting in a caravan... seriously just sitting in a caravan... doing what? all the things we do at home (watch tv, play simple games, read) but with less options for all... I dont get that either.

Then theres sorting the pets out...

I know i sound like a mardy cow, and to make things worse.. my Dad lives in south of France and my Mom in Spain... Ive never visited them.

BabyDubs, I think a holiday would be wasted on you and your little black cloud of misery!

You don't sit in caravans, you use it as a base for exploring the area.
If it's wet and cold you don't go to the beach.
If it rains, you go to a museum or farm park, or visit the next town.
I pay someone to sort the pets out.

It's a serious of moments, watching the expressions on my children's faces as they see something new and store the memory for a happy future with their own children.

What about the Eurostar or cheap flights for a few days city break.

We have flown to krakow, Barcelona, berlin, Paris and istanbul for a grand total of £19.99 each for each return flight. So £100 for 5 of you to fly.

Holiday lettings usually has an apartment or villa for 100-300 per week if you know where to look

We usually fly, stay for 4 days and see the sights/ visit a beach and attraction. Chill out and eat out every eve.

5 nights for 4 people in April cost us less than £500 and that wa flights, 4 star services apartment ( 2 bed) and eating out for every meal plus excursions in Barcelona.

YOS - I agree... I am hoping that eventually DH will just sort it and take all three of them away for a week and i can sit and wallow in my misery...with the tv remote and lots of wine

1K
We got a nice little cottage last year in Kent for £300 for 5 of us for 10 days. The dc loved it so much they're desperate to go back again. We don't usually go back to the same place but they really want to.

BabyDubs- oh God- what are you like at Christmas?

Now christmas is my thing - i live for christmas...

179 days to go, i have a spreadsheet and everything!

Actually i should just take them to lapland shouldnt i... I could get on board with that!

There you go- now that's a plan!

OP, could you house swap??

We never had family holidays, we could never afford it but I have lovely childhood memories of day trips
It has never affected any of our thirst to travel or understanding of other cultures, quite the opposite, two of us have lived abroad.

i do recall though my best friend going away on proper holidays every year, sending me a postcard and bringing me back a present. She told me that her mum was angry that she didn't get stuff back from me, eg presents from holidays and this seemed so illogical so I just tried to explain that I never went on holiday to bring her any presents. This worried me a lot and I tried to think of things that I had that I could possibly give best friend as a present to make up for it. Shame her mum just didn't recognise that we were a family who had to do without that kind of stuff and her daughter was the lucky one.

Like any child rearing issue, you do what is best for the whole family.

Yes the packing is a pain but I love travelling although I hate flying too. We go on cruises instead (absolutely fab for kids too) and get to see lots of lovely places and NO flying involved! We spend an awful lot of money on holidays and weekends away but DH works some extra hours to pay for the extra breaks rather than just a cheapish 2 weeks away. I believe its worth every penny as we love it and enjoy the break.

YANBU if you don't enjoy it and days out etc are fab for kids, I can understand that children would start getting jealous but some people can't afford holidays so its not like all his friends would be going anyway.

My 2 boys would be happy at a caravan park (with dble galzing and central heating of course) up the road for a couple of weeks but they love the cruises too as there's so much to do, I am not sure they see that much difference between them at their age (6 & 4).

Part of me is saying it is depriving them of worldly experiences but TBH years ago most people didn't go further afield than camping in the UK or France or something and everyone survived then!

OP - the real lapland cost about £1000 per day for a family of 4!

Can you afford to take the ferry or Eurostar to go to France? That's still abroad, I think they have caravan parks over there too, or cheap gites if not.

I actually don't think it's all that important that they go abroad so young, tbh - I'm also of the generation where my parents never holidayed abroad, the first time I did was with a school exchange trip to Germany!

But I did do a couple of day trips to France on the ferry with my Dad (was still 11 when that happened) - even a weekend in France might be something to consider if you really feel the need.

I have to say, when I read your title, I thought you were going to say you were off on overseas holidays but leaving them behind - glad to see I was wrong with that!

I get very sad if we don't have a holiday to look forward to... We have had lively holidays abroad but also fantastic memories of Cornwall and Wales ... Body surfing, paddling, crab fishing, boat trips, rock pooling, picnicking, sand castles, ice creams - what's not to live and all just a car ride away? With tiny kids it doesn't always make sense to go abroad anyway as the heat can be harsh and they hate being smothered in sun cream every 2 mins. But this country has great coastlines and beaches to explore come rain or shine!!!

Meant not to like not live!

I'm with you op hate going on holiday, hate the hassle and then find I get cheesed off when I get there. I also think holidays are expensive for what they are and I'm skint for months after.

If it reaches the point where the majority of your family want to go but are having to dance to your tune of cant be botheredness then you are being very unreasonable (and more than a little bit selfish).

I have a relative like this - it is not an attractive feature.

There are lots of different ways of going on holiday - what works for your family tends to change as the children grow.

The thing is that by going away somewhere you can really explore the area you visit. Daytrips limit you to a very restricted range of trips.

My DCs love castles, roman ruins, museums. If we had limited ourselves to what is available within a daytrip then they would have had limited opportunity to enjoy these.

A tip for enjoying holidays with children is to not expect too much and remember that next time will be easier!

Holidays, precious childhood memories? In our house a holiday seemed to be code for 'Bored of bickering at home (children v children and adults v children - parents got on fine!) let's take this elsewhere.' I do have some fun holiday memories, but then I have memories of fun times we had NOT being on holiday.

I travelled a lot on my own in my late teens and twenties, which is when I've had my best experiences abroad, so YANBU.