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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Clash with my aunt but my 5 year old son adores her

4 replies

yayatara · 27/06/2012 14:26

My chinese aunt comes over every 2 weeks to babysit so that we can go out. Its a bit of a mutual benefit. She babysits, we cook for her, make her takeaways and she washes all her clothes here. She has never had a relationship and has always lived on her own. She recently said some horrible things about me to my husband in front of my son..accusing me of not being honest and of being an insecure mother. I am angry that she said this in front of my son. Both do not seem to understand that I do not want this to happen again. We clash on a other aspects too but my son adores her and she adores my son so I don't want her to not come over. When she is over we inevitably do not see eye to eye. We are both generous in nature but we don't seem to speak the same language. I am wondering if this could be a cultural clash..as she want and expects absolute adoration and respect when she arrives, which I can't fully give her. Has anyone had similar experiences??

OP posts:
Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 27/06/2012 14:35

I don't know anything about the cultural side of things but I think you need to end this arrangement now and get a different babysitter - she needs to respect your family and not undermine you by saying such things in front of your son.

He may adore her, but if she keeps behaving like this in front of him, she will damage him. Where is your DH in all of this? He should be showing her the door!

If you want to continue a family relationship, arrange (short) visits and the minute any unwanted behaviour crops up from her, either leave (if it's in her house) or ask her to leave (if you're in your own house).

diddl · 27/06/2012 14:37

I wouldn´t put up with that tbh.

Sounds as if she´s using you-she certainly doesn´t seem to respect or like you!

yayatara · 27/06/2012 14:47

thankyou..dh had a really special relationship with his aunt, so he tends to be quite soft on her.

OP posts:
CaliforniaLeaving · 27/06/2012 16:00

You need to get this sorted out. She will mess with your Ds's mind if she continues to say mean things about his Mum in front of him. Doesn't really matter if she likes him and he likes her.
Maybe a few weeks of going to the launderette will set her straight.

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