Ignoramus

[HeartsJandJ]

So, walking to school this morning with DD (4). The footpath is narrow and a coach parked for the bigger children meant it was a bit more of a squash than going through.

A broad person came through this narrow gap texting on their phone, DD and I politely move over so she wasn't inconvenienced (she had started walking past the coach before us so it was only polite). She didn't even glance up from her texting to acknowledge us let alone thank us.

AIBU to think it's not even worth tutting at this kind of person as they are unlikely to change their behaviour?

People are becoming too selfish and preoccupied to acknowledge a small kindness from another. Call it rude, ignorant or just thoughtless.

Oh FFS pedantic or what people!

Yes the woman was rude just like someone is rude when you hold a door open for them and they just walk on through without acknowledgment.

According to the Cambridge online dictionary. An informal use of ignorant is not polite or respectful

So if Cambridge are willing to note that we are using ignorant for this definition, then surely the OP has used the word 'ignoramus' in the correct context?

Ignorant to basic manners maybe?

What does it actually matter? Unless it makes you feel superior to make the OP think she is the one who is the ignoramus for, in your eyes, using the wrong word.

What I do when my manners go unappreciated is say loudly "You're welcome!" If they say owt I say "Huh? I thought you said thank you" Fuck all they can say to that. If they say "Well no I didn't actually" they are owning up to being a tool.

There's no point in tutting.

I find a swift kick in the shin more effective.

It's simple and straight to the point.

No, because when ignoramous is used to describe a person, it changes to one who lacks knowledge, or is illiterate etc.

"Not everyone is lucky enough to have had a good education, or could be dyslexic."

These are the people who used to be called ignoramous, people with LD's etc.

"YABU because you know nothing about what she was so engrossed in that she didn't look up. Is it at all possible that her mum died and she is writing a message to someone in the family about funeral arrangements?"

Why is this forum so fond of excusing rudeness? Is that the adult version of, "Oh but the child who kicked your cat might have special neeeeds!", Cote? Maybe she was wearing a banana suit and turquoise hair. It's not very likely though, is it?

The Collins English Dictionary definition of ignoramus is an ignorant person

My DD has complex LD's and speech and language problems. I drum into her to say please and thank you, so it is a habbit,she doesn't do it naturally, but she forgets.

Sometimes it is because of a lack of confidence over her speech, but sometimes it is because of a lack of awareness.

It is nice to think that people would be rude to her or even kick her because her disabiliy would mean that she wouldn't realise to say thanks.

Tut is you want, OP, all you are doing is getting yourself agitated by allowing yourself to register this. It isn't worth the negative energy/upset, tbh.

The person was ignorant of the presence of the OP. "Unaware & unknowing"...

So your problem is that someone walked in a straight line without looking up?

Not sure I can even summon up a yabu.

@Penis... So we all go around walking in a straight line, not looking up, bargeing people out of the way or forcing them to step aside as we sweep through, ignorant of their presence ... and that's a nice place to live is it? Not unreasonable at all?

There is a town in the USA that has made it illegal to walk and text. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own little bubble with phones and ipods that a public space is part of their bubble now too. I've never understood what's so urgent that it can't wait? But say anything and it suddenly becomes about their right to do what they want and bugger those inconvenienced because hey, what's the big deal? I just keep my mouth shut and view them as not all together there.

What's just as annoying are the pedants on forums. I suspect they have no one at home boosting them up in life, so they come onto forums and nit pick in an attempt to feel better/superior.

I'd be a billionaire if I could sell off the pinches of salt needed when confronted by people like this.

BTW OP YANBU, IMO.

I was bought up knowing that "manners cost nothing"and to always "mind my P's and Q's"

It really annoys me when people can't share just a little bit of common decency.

Did I say that Cogito? Or anything like that? Nope.

I can't see its really much of a problem though, most people wouldn't, so I'm pretty sure the fabric of society can cope with people occasionally (shock and horror) not saying thank you to someone who moved to let them pass

We could maybe start a support group for the victims of these heinous acts though, if you like?

The English use to be known for their impeccable manners but sadly the polite Englishman is becoming a myth.

Countries going to the dogs eh?

No. I just think we've bred a sense of entitlement and a fuck the neighbour attitude in some, when way back when people lived in communities as appose to choosing to isolate oneself at all times, even when in public.

Are we only allowed to discuss things that are a huge problem then?

The OP is hardly saying to throw rotten veg or what not at them, just having a rant about how so many people these days can't even appear to grasp basic manners.

But hey, nevermind. What's manners at the end of the day? Didn't realise it hurts people to use them.

(that is not aimed to those with LDs)

Wen - Did you just tell me what I should or should not be saying on MN? Just checking

By the way, ignoramus doesn't mean "ill-mannered and rude". It means ignorant idiot. Ignorant = the antonym of educated & cultivated.

Here are its synonyms for those of you who didn't know this.

OP meant rude. She had no way of knowing this person's IQ and/or her level of education/knowledge, so it was a misuse or an insult.

Shullbit, have you heard of the idea that taking an argument to its extreme is both counter productive and self-defeating as well as knobbish and annoying ?

"So many people these days" ? OP said one person. And the fact that she, for some reason, found it important enough to get worked up about suggests that this is unusual.

So crisis over, your green and pleasant land is still full of people with your so prized english manners. Relax your cacks and stop lamenting the end of blightys golden era.

YANBU, this is one of my bugbears. Manners don't cost anything. I'm polite to a fault, and it irritates me when someone else isn't (my issue I know really).

I always wait and let people through or past if I have the buggy and about half the time I get a thank-you which is lovely, I always smile, but the other half I get no response at all...drives me mad.

She was generally talking about this one person this morning, granted. But I highly doubt she, or anyone else for that matter have only ever come across one person in their lives being ill mannered. Her getting wound up could actually be the result of coming across this attitude far too often. I see it most days, sadly.

And no, I don't believe that being ill mannered means the UK is going to the dogs (talk about putting words in other peoples mouths). I just think it shows a lack of respect, something which many complain about with the "Youths of today" but then don't give a crap about others themselves.

Just find it saddening, that's all. It doesn't hurt to use manners.