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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to let my baby eat what he wants?

50 replies

washingonawednesday · 26/06/2012 12:11

18 month old has gone from eating everything in the world to practically nothing. An exhaustive list of what he eats:
Cheese
Bread,
Yoghurt
Sausages
Rice krispies
Fruit
That's it! It's only the fact he'll eat fruit till it comes out of his ears that stops me panicking!

We did blw. All food has been freshly prepared and he loved it! He used to eat Thai green curries, roasted veg, roast dinners, meatballs, cassarole, any number of dishes packed with veg, but in the last 3 months he's slowly whittled it down to the list above. I always give him what we're eating to try, but he's just not interested- wont even put it in his mouth.

Is this a phase or will he end up one of those fat truckers who lives on sausage rolls and has the girth of an elephant and the complexion of a wet flannel?!

Aibu to just let him eat this way and hope he grows out of it or should I be giving him 'proper food' and letting him get so hungry that he has to eat it?

Help!

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 27/06/2012 14:38

DD1 went through this and it is so fustrating TBH i let her eat what she liked but always gave her what we were having for dinner usually tweaked to what she liked but i think if you keep offering him different food he will grow out of the fussy stage

porcamiseria · 27/06/2012 14:40

mine too! especially meat, and pasta, and bread

Thank GOD he likes apples !!!!

Napdamnyou · 27/06/2012 14:54

Oh, does anyone else have an 18 mo who has stopped even trying to eat with a spoon or fork and instead just opens their mouth and wants mummy to place tasty morsels inside, in the manner of a tiresomebaby cuckoo?

Napdamnyou · 27/06/2012 14:56

I am looking back at pictures of him aged 11 months gaily eating moussaka and garlic bread, followed by blackcurrant sorbet and trying not to growl.

Pandemoniaa · 27/06/2012 15:00

It does seem to be an 18 month old thing. I recall ds1 suddenly deciding that some foods were clearly Satanic snacks and shied away from previously popular food as if I were trying to poison him. Oddly enough, some of the things he went off he still won't eat at the age of 31!

Dgd who fed herself a huge Christmas lunch at 12 months old - including sprouts - started getting fussy at about 14 months. Independence seems to be a big influence though because provided she can feed herself, she's now eating pretty much anything again.

My advice is to let them eat what they want. But don't stop introducing new foods and try to look unbothered by their reaction.

Mrsjay · 27/06/2012 15:04

DD1 stopped eating red meat at around 18 months she used to eat a roast happily or a ham sandwich thats pink meat isnt it Grin, anyway she just refused and would sometimes be sick , apparently taste buds change at 18 months so maybe they start being funny about tastes and textures

she is a grown up and still not keen on red meat ,

Longdistance · 27/06/2012 15:05

OMFG! Blush this is a carbon copy of my dd, and she's now 2y9mo. She was blw too, she'd eat everything and anything, including olives. We have tried everything, and I mean everything, that other pp have suggested. Including, not making a scene, offering everything, and giving her what she wants to eat.
None of it has worked. I'm just hoping with time she'll eat better.
Sorry I'm not much help, but just to let you know, you're not on your own.

MissFaversam · 27/06/2012 15:25

We ALL have food preferences, nothing wrong with that. They change all the time until our pallets mature.

Mrsjay · 27/06/2012 15:29

you are right Miss of course you are but it can be fustrating and sometimes worrying when toddlers suddenly start refusing food , it is our intinct to feed them tbh i was distraught at how fussy DD1 was and did panic ( i didnt need too ) with dd2 i was much more relaxed about the whole thing,

EarnestDullard · 27/06/2012 15:33

I think most kids go through something similar at some point. There was a while when DD (now 2y4m) ate hardly any meat but we kept offering, and supplemented with plenty of dairy, and she's much better now. As others have said, give him things he'll eat but keep offering other things too. 18mo is too young for "you'll eat what you're given or go hungry" imo.

TheonlyWayisGerard · 27/06/2012 15:37

Apologies I havent read the whole thread. DD did this. She still isn't a brilliant eater at 22 months. I usually give her bits of whatever I'm having alongside food that she will eat. It may result in some odd combinations but I fins that she will sometimes try some of the 'strange' food. For example, she won't eat Sunday lunches really, so she will have baked beans with mashed potato, and small amounts of yorshire pud/roast pots etc.

MissFaversam · 27/06/2012 15:38

Oh yes indeedy Mrsjay, it can be very frustrating. I even bought the "let's cook together" books only to have my then little DS enjoy this immensley but state that he wasn't going to eat the end product! Had to walk away and "cool off" in the garden on a few occasions, thats for sure.

My DS now eats a very varied diet. So, to preserve one's sanity I advise mums of youngsters to put new stuff on their plates but don't insist they eat it.

Food is a very personal thing and it can be used against you!

CaliforniaLeaving · 27/06/2012 15:39

All mine went through a faze of only eating a few items with regularity. Usually it was cheese, cheerios (ones that have no taste or sugar like cardboard) and peas. So I'd serve it up each day and also provide other things that sometimes they tasted and sometimes not. Out of the three kids, only one is a bit of a fussy eater, the other two eat pretty much anything and a are good veggie/salad eaters now.

Mrsjay · 27/06/2012 15:41

IT can be used I got into the whole battle of wills with dd1 I know i did it wrong but i did ease off and just offer her what we were having and i said tweaked to what she liked, I did learn not to force food and insisting she ate , thats when she got her catsbumface on Grin I tried to fight a war that couldnt be won,

WheresMyCow · 27/06/2012 15:47

Have been lurking but need to join in with another fussy toddler (20mo)

DS can change from day to day, the only constants being cheese spread, yoghurt, fruit and milk!! As we both work full time, during the week he only has breakfast with us so I have to pack up 2 meals a day to send for him Shock

When he gets picked up the first question is always so, what's he had to eat today?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 27/06/2012 15:51

That is a reassuring thread! DD2 (2.5) is the same she always eat pasta, rice, fruits, yogurt, sausages, olives, chocolate cakes and cucumber (oh! ice cream and french fries only from McD Blush thanks to DH). She might eat some biscuits, bread, corn flakes, wheatabix, ham, eggs, fish fingers, french beans, some cheese.
Won't eat anything if it is mixed up.
Often I have to leave her alone for her to eat at all.
She has just stopped eating from my plate and making me taste first (in case it was poison I guess Confused) finger crossed.
I still serve her what we are having. DD1 is 7 now and eating, or at least trying, everything so I have hope (even if she has never been that fussy)

Good to know I am not alone!

WheresMyCow · 27/06/2012 15:51

Very off topic but...loving your name TheonlyWayisGerard Grin

Fillybuster · 27/06/2012 15:52

I think its quite normal. When dc1 did it, I freaked slightly, as he went from eating absolutely bloody everything (like yours, OP), to almost nothing (a pretty similar list) in the space of about a month.

Initially, it was a battle of wills, which wasn't a) healthy and b) fun.

Then I read somewhere (probably on MN) that it can be an evolutionary response, as it is around the 18 mo mark that babies would have been/could be old enough to start foraging for their own food....so they sort of 'shut down' to a very safe and limited selection.

It's probably bollocks, but I liked the theory :)

DH and I constructed a controlled response that went like this:

Breakfast - always easy, ds would always load up on breakfast anyway. So we actively controlled how much he ate so that he would definitely be hungry at lunch.

Mid morning snack - cut it down to half size : half a banana, or a small biscuit, and water not milk.

Lunch - 1 item ds would eat (in smallish quantity) and rest items he might/might not eat in various shades of challenging. Dessert would be fruit/yoghurt but only if he had tried at least one of the non-standard items.

Tea - small (like mid morning snack) or half cup milk.

Dinner - 1 item ds would eat, rest stuff he might/might not. Dessert fruit/yoghurt but he had to have tried at least one thing apart from his preferred item.

Bedtime milk as normal.

Once we got this going, it only took about 2 weeks to get him back on track, albeit with a slightly less adventurous palate than before....and now at 7 he is turning into a real 'foodie', and recently opted for a very surprising salmon en croute/spelt salad/aubergine salad/quiche combo at a friends house, over the kids pasta, sausages and cheese menu she had available, so I'm glad we stuck at it :) :)

Good luck!

COCKadoodledooo · 27/06/2012 15:55

Ds2 (2.8) doesn't eat half the stuff ds1 did at the same age, and they were weaned in the same way on the same foods. Mind you, I know which one I consider the freaky eater - ds1, whose favourite food at 2 was broccoli and now (8yo) is salad!
He is asked to try everything, though we never insist he finishes new foods, and he doesn't have to try something if he's previously declared he doesn't like it (though I still put such things on his plate in a triumph of hope over expectation Hmm).

I do worry a bit that he's not getting the variety that ds1 did, but looking at his diet over a week rather than just a meal/day and it is pretty baalanced.

sleeplessinderbyshire · 27/06/2012 16:01

my DD (2y10m) has been like this since about months and got worse at 18 months. she lives on ready brek, shreddies (dry), toast and peanut butter, apples, chocolate, oatcakes, bread sticks, carrot crisps, rice cakes (esp marmite ones!) and ella's kitchen stage 1 pouches. Very occasional yoghurt and jelly and sometimes cake

we offer new stuff in a low key way, insist no spitting or throwing and assume she'll grow out of it.

Tried cold turkey method 10moths ago, she ate nothing woke every hour in the night and lost a ton of weight (she's tiny to start with)

No adults are this fussy (and if they are they don't live at home any more so their mothers stop stressing about it!)

Hugs, lost loads of sleep about this until I realised life is too short to worry

unluckycat · 27/06/2012 16:10

I think it's normal for them to start off loving all food yet later forming a fussier approach to it.

I'd keep offering what you're having with small amounts of what you know he'll eat, and I'd try to remain as uninterested as possible in what he eats/doesn't eat so the fussiness isn't getting him any extra attention.

sc2987 · 27/06/2012 16:22

Read this book: www.pinterandmartin.com/my-child-wont-eat/

In summary: your job is to offer healthy food options, their job is to choose what and how much to eat of it.

As long as you aren't desperately trying to get him to eat anything at all by giving him unhealthy stuff instead, it will be a phase.

sc2987 · 27/06/2012 16:22

www.pinterandmartin.com/my-child-wont-eat/

Willowisp · 27/06/2012 16:33

My friend had a dd that was like this, she let her eat what she liked & she is like it now - 8 yrs later.

However her friend had the same experience & refused to allow her DS to eat like this. Instead she only gave him food she though he should eat. After a very short while, he was eating the same as the rest of the family & is still a good varied eater now.

My DD2 tries to be fussy, but it's nipped in the bud as soon as it happens.

Don't forget you're the one providing food - he won't starve & I know if I don't let dd2 have snaks, she'll eat her tea without a fuss.

Hth.

Willowisp · 27/06/2012 17:26

Excellent advice from fillybuster

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