To not go to this wedding reception? (yes, yet another wedding thread)

[IShouldHaveBeenAPairOfClaws]

I have been invited to the wedding reception (so just the party after, not the actual wedding) by a distant friend who I like and bump into from time to time but essentially virtually never speak to. I'm almost certainly not going because its going to cost about £100 to go, stay, buy a present and drink. I've talked to Dh a lot about it and he suggested going on my own to keep the costs down, which I've thought about but decided will still be a bit too expensive.

The thing is though, I COULD afford it if I really wanted. Its not that I'm going to go bankrupt if I go, its just that there are other things I'd much rather spend my money on - like going out with closer friends. But I still feel a bit mean. I think that in general if you're invited to a wedding you should probably try to go and I feel a bit of a hypocrite. Am I being selfish? And tight?

not at all if you feel it is to much money then dont go. Send a card of regret you cant make it and a nice card perhaps present and your done. Remember to show due interest when you bump into her 3 months after the wedding though Providing you follow that YANBU

If you're going to go, then go with your DH. It it surely not going to cost much more for the two of you - you'd buy one present regardless, petrol if driving will cost the same and hotel room would probably be the same, so it's just buying more drinks. However, you are perfectly within your rights not to go as long as you handle the invitation politely, as Frikadellen said above. It is an invitation - you can accept or reject.

I've never thought their was an obligation to go to weddings you were invited to.

A wedding invite is not a court summons! If you don't want to go, don't go.
She's distant friend, you barely speak to her. She's probably thinking, 'oh I'd better invite Pairofclaws in case I bump into her and she gets offended about not being invited'.

I'd send a decline, wish her a lovely day, and forget about it.

Ah, good to see these responses, I think I beat myself up too much about this sort of thing.

You have no obligation to go and you're not being selfish or tight either. Send back RSVP with regrets and wish her well on the big day and that's that.

I didnt go to my own cousins wedding, as she lived 300 miles away, and at the time we simply couldnt afford it. Suspect she never really forgave me for it, as when my mum died (her only aunt and godmother) she "couldnt afford" to come to the funeral... ...

to add, not saying you should go OP, just that you dont have any obligation to go, and as she isnt a close friend, you wouldnt be letting her down, just send her a card. :)

I've just turned down the wedding of a work 'friend' she's my boss, I'm nice to her but I don't really like her because it's miles away, I don't want to go, my DH genuinely can't make it, and as she is leaving work just before the wedding so I reckon I won't have to see her again afterwards.

I'm a terrible person. You are not!

The OP's username is rather good. Oh, and you don't have to go.

YANBU. I feel the same as you about wedding invitations, that you should try to go if you have been invited, but I don't think that applies so much when the invite is evening only. Just RSVP that you can't go, you don't have to give a reason, and remember to send a nice wedding card closer to the time.

erm, so don't go. I don't get the dilemma.

As someone upthread said, it's not a court summons!

Please reply promptly though!! Mine is in a month and I still haven't heard a thing from about 5 people - driving me nuts!! :)

You're over-thinking it. Just politely decline and send a card with a kind and thoughtful message nearer the time.

I have a book of etiquette that is perhaps a little old but it says that, if you are invited to a wedding, whether you attend or not, you should send a gift. Presumably because you were invited as you're deemed a good friend.

If you are invited to an evening reception only and choose not to attend, you need not send a gift.

Ah, good to see these responses, I think I beat myself up too much about this sort of thing.