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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to get a cleaner ?

25 replies

LittleSugaPlum · 25/06/2012 15:12

Im 24 weeks pregnant with first child. I suffer with pelvic girdle pain since being 7 weeks pregnant. I see a physio once a week and have to do several exercises aday.

Some days the pain is worse than others, however for the past 4 days, i ve been limping, and the pain is agony when walking, climbing stairs etc. It's not normally this bad, but i do believe it gets worse as your pregnancy progresses.

Because of this household chores like domestic cleaning have been out of the question, leaning over the bath to clean it kills me!

So i have spoken to DH about getting a cleaner in weekly until after the baby is born and the pain goes.

However at around £40 a week cost, DH thinks we dont need a cleaner. He never sees dirt etc.

We are both self employed and work from home (both internet based).

I ve asked DH on numorous occasions to help with housework only to be told hes busy with running the business at home. (We have a joint business and admittedly he does alot more work on it than me due to the pain im in).

He thinks its bonkers to fork out for a cleaner. However i ve always been house proud and looking at my skirting boards etc now is getting me doing as they need doing.

AIBU to get a domestic cleaner in? Or should i just struggle to do it myself?

Once the baby is born, and im alot better pain wise, the cleaner will be made redundant of course.

OP posts:
KellyElly · 25/06/2012 15:16

Well if you are in pain and he is 'too busy' it's a no-brainer really. You could always compromise and get someone in for say two hours (£20 a week) and get them to go the bathrooms, floors and hoovering so you would only have to dust etc. Your DH sounds very selfish not to help you out in my opinion.

megandraper · 25/06/2012 15:19

It would be mad not to have a cleaner in your situation IMHO.

And personally, I'd keep the cleaner on after the baby is born.

Sounds like your DH isn't going to be much cop at sharing chores.

totty12mum · 25/06/2012 15:19

Not at all! I had a cleaner as I was on crutches from about 20 weeks pregnant with pelvic girdle pain! We got rid of her when I had the baby but got another one when DD was @ 8 weeks old. Husband agreed when I got out the rota I had prepared for us to split the housework!! Have to say though I have had to get more relaxed re cleaning post baby - there are only so many hours in the day and at the end of the day time with baby more important!! Re the pelvic pain ask your GP if hydrotherapy is available at your local physio dept it really helps!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/06/2012 15:20

YANBU - not at all!!

Your DH needs to get his head out his arse and see the real picture. A cleaner wont cost that much and will make your life a heck of a lot easier - just get one sorted!

bronze · 25/06/2012 15:20

How about two hours
That would do kitchen, bathroom and a bit more. He can then vacuum

Ephiny · 25/06/2012 15:27

No of course you shouldn't struggle to do it yourself if you're pregnant and in pain. Either your DH should do it, or you get a cleaner.

Does he expect you to do the cleaning work despite your pain? Or is he happy for it just not to be done and for the house to get filthy? I don't understand what he expects to happen here, if he's not willing to do it himself.

ColumboIsMyHero · 25/06/2012 15:33

PGP will get worse if you do things that will aggravate it (eg hoovering/lots of running up and down stairs/pushing supermarket trolleys). I speak from bitter experience.

So either your DH should man up and do the chores while you're in pain, if the money is an issue. Or fork out for a cleaner.

In sickness and in health??? You might want to remind him.

Oh, and don't make any hasty decisions about getting rid of the cleaner after the birth. You might have dream birth and recovery - I did with DC2. With DC1 my PGP didn't go completely for about 6 months.

RightBuggerforit · 25/06/2012 15:38

Dh needs to do it - although you may have to drop your standards or sensitively explain exactly what needs doing. If he won't do it then get a cleaner in, it's your decision as well as his, don't give him a veto on it, especially if he's not giving you the choice of him doing it.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 25/06/2012 16:03

YANBU at all. If you can afford it and in pain then do it, unless you DH is willing to step in and do the cleaning.
SPD is agony and its not going to get better until you give birth - I'd get all the help you can.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 25/06/2012 16:10

If you can afford it, go for it - and why make them redundant once the baby is here? You'll have your hands full looking after the baby, sod the housework! Give someone a job and get it all done for you Grin I wish I could, but Kim and Aggie would flee screaming from this place, and I'm not up to cleaning before the cleaner arrives iyswim Blush

NarkedRaspberry · 25/06/2012 16:14

He cleans - and actually does it, to an agreed standard, not just says he will - or you get a cleaner.

LittleSugaPlum · 25/06/2012 16:24

Thanks for the advice, i ve rang a cleaning company who are coming tomorrow to discuss with them what needs doing etc

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 25/06/2012 16:27

If you lived near me LittleSugaPlum I'd come over and clean for you in return for a cuppa Smile

A cleaner is just what you need but you can probably get one cheaper than an agency who take half their earnings. How about a notice in your local village shop?

DontmindifIdo · 25/06/2012 16:33

If your DH doesn't 'see dirt' then I'd draw up a list of what you think needs doing daily, weekly and monthly, along with how long you estimate each task taking. Tell him that you physically can't do most of these, (put notes next to the things you think you can do, like emptying the dishwasher etc) so you either need to pay someone else to do them, or he can do them. If he wants, you can try a week of him doing them, but if he finds he can't find the time to do all the tasks over a 7 day period, then the only alternative is to pay for someone else to do it until you can again.

Personally, I'd get someone in every week once the baby's arrived too, or at least keep the list up, so he can see what needs to be done.

Idocrazythings · 25/06/2012 17:44

I agree with rhubarb- ask around about cash in hand/private cleaners- I think they do a better job. We have had two different contractors for the lawnmowing and basic gardening and I think they did a terrible job. (I know gardening is not cleaning but principle is the same)

Squitten · 25/06/2012 18:05

We have a cash-in-hand cleaner once a fortnight for 3hrs (she charges for 3hrs but she generally stays until the whole house is clean and won't take extra!) and it's a really great safety net so that if the house is wretched because me (SAHM) or the kids are ill, we know she'll come and rescue us!

YANBU - Do it!

WinkyWinkola · 25/06/2012 18:13

Agencies are a con. Overpriced and ime, really not the best service.

Ask your neighbours or friends for recommendations.

AnnieLobeseder · 25/06/2012 18:19

YANBU. Cleaners are a godsend and everyone who has any spare cash should get one.

I'd agree to hire from a local post-office billboard or similar though. I've had no luck with agencies. They are overpriced and have a lower standard of cleaner than just hiring privately.

Downandoutnumbered · 25/06/2012 19:55

YANBU at all, but your DH is a pillock. You need to be incredibly careful about PGP - it's agony till you give birth, and if you are stupid like me and soldier on trying to do everything you normally do, you can do permanent damage.

solidgoldbrass · 25/06/2012 19:58

Definitely get a cleaner - and get an independent one, not an agency one; cleaning agencies are generally not known for treating their staff very well.
But you need to have a talk to your H. He needs to be doing his share of the domestic work, especially once the baby comes; you are not his servant and he needs to be made to understand this.

Downandoutnumbered · 25/06/2012 20:00

^^ What solidgoldbrass said.

Guava · 25/06/2012 20:22

YANBU. Just 2 hours a week can make the difference.

LittleSugaPlum · 25/06/2012 21:09

The reason i contacted a agency was because we are new to the area, approx 45 min drive from family. And i didnt know how to get a recommended cleaner as we dont know anybody in this area.

The agency charge £9.95ph.

I will definatly think about posting my own ad in the shop window.

OP posts:
Fecklessdizzy · 25/06/2012 22:52

Go for it ... I took the plunge and got a great lady in a couple of months ago when I realised that I couldn't square the circle and have a nice-ish house, a job and the occasional sit-down!

DP had a major grump ( Not for people like us / Didn't want someone going through his stuff blah, blah, blah ... ) But as he wouldn't recognise a duster if it climbed up his leg and bit him on the bum he doesn't get a say Grin

So we've never looked back ... You're providing employment and getting your dust-bunnies culled ... Win/win!

LucieMay · 25/06/2012 23:14

No yadnbu! I'd get a cleaner in a heartbeat if i could afford it and I'm not even in any pain physically!

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