To ask here and not in the proper place?

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

I know this should be in children's health and i will probably go there later.
But I could do with some advice and holding down fairly quickly and I would be really greatful if people could reassure me.

I have PTSD. This manifests itself in medical environments/situations. I am working on it

It looks like DC5 has asthma. I picked him up from Nursery today. He had a mild cough this morning. Nothing else.
When I got him and picked him up I could hear him wheezing. Thank God for the NHS, my GP saw him right away and within half an hour I had steriods for him.

This is the fourth episode where a cough/cold has gone straight to his chest. The GP cant diagnose him right away but we are doing the 'step up, step down' thing with inhalers and I will take him back on Monday.

If he gets worse today I have to take him to A&E. He is two.

I am not a cotton wool, panicky mum but my DD died and that has made me not cope with this stuff very well.

DS doesnt know. He is sleeping next to me and as far as he can tell I am calm as a cucumber.

But I am on the verge of a breakdown.
Tell me more about asthma, what to look out for, triggers, signs - whatever I need to know.

I can do this but I have to work it through my head.
I know it seems pathetic because I nursed my DD for two years and I am not unused to illness but this all seems a bit hard at them moment.

Any tips/advice would really help. Thank you.

You're amazing mrs dv.
If you have to go to A&E can a friend come with you? Could DH go?
If you go, when your triaged, can you say, 'my daughter died after a long illness in hospital and I really struggle being here'?

Oh Mrs DeVere, you have this hard hearted bitch sobbing!!

I am sorry, I cannot help or give any more advice re asthma.

How long does it take to get over the death of a child, I wonder. I have not experienced it, but came close when my DD2 was born, we nearly lost her and she is now a fairly boistrous 6 year old. I still break down sometimes when talking about that and have the living breathing proof that she is fine.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a lovely caring mummy!!

Have a look at this facebook page, the proper website is shut down atm.

www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/iamamothertoanangel

Ds is 2.6 and was diagnosed with asthma at 12 months I have found the asthma thread on the children's health board a godsend when needing advice or just to talk to parents going through the same.

I have found with DS when he has steroids they make him hyper (not a good thing when in hopsital on oxygen) and increases his appetite. Thats only the oral steroids though the inhaled ones have no side effects.

Most things have already been covered really, identifying triggers is the key thing. If ever in doubt don't hesitate to go to A and E they will always take a child with any sort of breathing problems seriously.

Big Hugs to you Mrs DV

I can't really offer any medical help,

I had very mild asthma in my late teens/early 20's but I seem to have grown out of it. Mine were triggered by panic attacks but I've got those under control. All very strange and I do wonder if the doc just said I had it to shut me up!

Don't know if you are aware but, asthma, exzema you'd think I could spell this as i suffer terribly with it myself, but i can't and hayfever are all linked. If you have one, you're likely to have the rest in mild forms.

My dad takes steroids for his chronic chest illness, he's had no obvious side effects although I appreciate it's not the same as a child taking them.

Oh blimey.
I describe DC5 as a bulldog with an afro.
What on earth are steroids going to do to him!

lamb Oh has to stay with the others but I do tell them about DD. I learnt a long time ago to be upfront. I tend to present like a loon otherwise. Its best to get it out in the open. Most nurses are wonderful and 'get it' right away. Some doctors are but some just look at me like I told them my bra size

I hate that bloody hospital. It is where DD was dx and where we spent awful, awful times. Its not the hospital's fault but that doesnt change anything.

Its really helpful to have people share their experiences. Thank you and thank you for your nice messages.

I know I do these needy threads every so often. They stop me acting like a twat in RL so they do serve a purpose.

I am quite normal acting really, honest..

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I have no advice on the medical side but on the practical side would it help if you put a check list together for his nursery carers of signs to watch for and to have a talk with them that anyone that is in contact with him has to be run through this list and any concerns they have to contact you straight away and to always err on the side of caution. I'm sure you've done this already so I'll shut up. Just thought it might put your mind slightly at more ease having reiterated all this stuff to them on a regular basis for when he's next at nursery. Hope he's ok. I know the hay fever season doesn't help my breathing. All the best.

Ds1 had bad asthma as a young child, but rarely gets it now at 14.

Your ds will be fine. The steroids are v good and work quickly. They may make him a bit 'energetic' but we never had any other side effects.

Keep a eye on his stomach. If his breathing is laboured and you really notice his tummy going in and out as he breathes he needs to go to A&E. This probably won't happen as he has the steroids now. Even if he does go in they will probably give him some nebulisers and send him home.

I can come back later to tell you about long term treatment, but for now, put on a dvd, and sit on the sofa with him. He will be fine and so will you

No I havent yet. The nursery dont know him as a child with asthma (if that is what he is).
I am not sure what to do. I will ring them and ask what their protocol is. He is staying off tomorrow but I will be in training all day so OH will be watching him.

I will need to get something in place though. I love that nursery but I am really suprised they didnt notice the wheeze! It was very loud.

I don't see your threads as needy, they're humbling. You've changed my mind about a lot of things, and encouraged me and many others to donate blood, and be a lot more empathetic.

If you don't want to go to that hospital is their another one nearby you could go to instead if needed?

Sorry you feel so crap.

I have asthma, as does DS1. His is really well controlled with steroid inhalers. His main symptom was a cough at night. He hasn't needed oral steroids. There are no side effects that I can observe from the inhaled steroids.

I take oral steroids quite frequently. I do get vivid dreams (not necessarily nightmares) and the very pale/ dark circles, but the dose is small and temporay, rarely longer than 5 days

HTH x

I don't see your threads as needy, they're humbling. You've changed my mind about a lot of things, and encouraged me and many others to donate blood, and be a lot more empathetic.

my post wasn't so great I needed to post it x2.

Is it possible for you to meet with his key worker before he goes in next? If possible get spare inhalers and spacers to leave with them.

When DS was first diagnosed I met with his key worker and explained what was happening and what treatment he may need and when (and how) too give. I also left written instructions for them which I have kept updated as time goes on. He is changing nursery in september and I have already arranged to meet the staff to ensure they fully understand his needs.

MrsdeVere, sorry to hear your worries about your DS - horrible enough to go through this without the backstory you live with day in day out.

Here is my tuppence worth:

Asthma cannot reliably be diagnosed in children less than approx. schoolage. Up until then you'll come up against the expression 'viral induced wheeze' or similar. Some children with 'viral induced wheeze' will grow out of it, some will keep it and will eventually be diagnosed as asthmatic.

As others have said, if he tends to only be wheeze when he has a cold/virus, then that is good news. Yes, it will be treated like asthma (bronchodilators like Ventolin/Salbutamol to widen the airways and inhaled steroids which do not give the sideeffects of systemic steroids. Steroids by mouth are sometimes needed in asthma, but in children usually only for 3 days or so).

Allergic asthma is what it say on the tin - wheeze triggered by an allergy, often dust/dust mites or pollen. Main stay of treatment is allergen avoidance... Easier said than done.

Atopic asthma is more of a constitutional condition which often goes hand in hand with eczema/dermatitis and hayfever. IMO this is the most unpredictable form of asthma and multifactorial.

My DS2, now 8, who was born at 31 weeks is my Wheezy One. I am still deluding myself that he will not turn out to have life-long asthm, but he is getting quite old for my sticking-my-head-in-the-sand to work much longer.
He now has an inhaler which combines a longacting bronchodilator with a steroid which he uses 1-2 weeks at a time when he has a cold. This has worked well in the last year or 2

HOpe your LO gets better and you remain as well and together as you always manage to sound!

I don't have much advice about asthma, but wanted to let you know that what youre feeling is entirely normal. My first child died from an undiagnosed medical condition which was caught too late, and since having my dd I've become hyper sensitive to anything resembling a problem.
I just wanted to say that you're coping remarkably well, and send some virtual hugs and thoughts.

My post isn't meant to patronise, incase it sounds like it.

So sorry you are going through this.

My DS maybe has asthma, but whatever he does have flares (very very fast) up every year when it is cold and he has a virus. One thing I have learnt is that 4am is always the crisis point, as its when your body produces the lowest ammount for the hormone which helps breathing (or something like that, I'm no doctor).Therefore when we have any suspcision about DS, I go to bed a 7pm, in case I end up making another 4am hospital run. We also give any steirod at bedtime, not the morning, so its' in his system for 4am.

To add to TSC signs, look for sucking in between the ribs as well, under the arm pit.

Hope he's feeling better.

Oh you poor thing, I have no advice re asthma but I do 'general medical practical' quite well - apologies if someone has already said this am skimming thread whilst corralling DS. Do you have a 'note taking' app or anything on your phone/notebook that is always in your handbag. If so then make a list now of things you would want to ask if/when you next see someone about DS - that way if your 'panic' (sorry that really isn't supposed to have the connotations it probably sounds like it does, I'm just not very eloquent) comes to the surface, at least the key things you want/need to ask won't go out of your mind at the time.

MrsDevere, I don't think I'd ever get over the death of one of my children so please stop putting such high expectations on yourself. Whether it's 1 year, 6 years or 15 years I should imagine the pain never leaves you. That kind of experience can leave you scarred for life.

You are already doing brilliantly. I'm rubbish at masking my feelings and would probably be crying on the floor. You have kept calm and are doing absolutely the right thing. Be kind to yourself

And and

These posts are really helpful and very sweet.
Thank you all.
He is happy as Larry at the moment but still coughing a wheezy. He is due his inhaler in a minute.
His is belly breathing but none of the other red flag symptoms atm.

I have an older son who is Mr Atopic (DS2) but amazingly hasnt got asthma as well! So we have the dust busting down to a fine art. Ds 2 and DS 4 are only distantly related (complicated story - we adopted our great nephew) so I dont think that is an issue re genetics.

Right, off to give him his pump..wish me luck, I think the novelty is wearing off.

Good luck - I find letting Ds play with the spacer and giving it to toys helps a lot, we have an asthmatic dinosaur who needs inhalers when he does!

Can't help on the asthma thing, but I've also struggled with PTSD in hospital situations (in my case though it was something that happened to me which I think will make it very different and much less traumatic). Recently, DD had to go in for day surgery and I was absolutely dreading it - I had an absolutely gigantic wobble a couple of weeks beforehand. I just can't bear hospitals. BUT it was massively worse in the anticipation than the event. Once I was there, I had to really focus on her.

I bloody hate hospital too and I really feel for you. ((((((((((Mrs DV))))))))))

Hey Lovely Lady,

Well, as you know, my DD3 had pneumonia back in Feb, and after a week in HDU/on the ward she was also diagnosed with asthma. She's a little bit older than your DS4, but was two when al this started. So, she's on two puffs of the brown inhaler a day, morning and night time, and has the ventolin (as much as she needs) as and when.

A few weeks ago hayfever caused some problems, so she had two doses of prednisolone over a fortnight and we upped her ventolin.

We have another appointment at St. Georges in a couple of weeks with the asthma consultant (we've had two so far since she was discharged) as they want to have another look at her lungs and also plan some course of action as they think she may be susceptible to possible repeats of the pneumonia and want to keep a close eye on her before the winter comes.

I would absolutely recommend you get an appointment with you asthma nurse at the GP's surgery who will talk you through everything as many times as you need to get to grips with it/using the spacer etc.

I have only ever seen the consultant as DD3 was so poorly, but I happen to know the nurse at my surgery as she helped with DD2's asthma when she was little (she's now almost 18 and manages it herself mostly ), but I did voice my concerns to the consultant about steroids and the long term effects. He absolutely reassured me and explained that as DD3 is so young and was so poorly she really does need to remain on the steroids for a good few months at least before we can think about reducing/stopping the dose. I'm hoping this will be something we can talk about in a couple of weeks.

On a very positive note, DD3 is managing things herself brilliantly. She knows and understands when she is getting wheezy and will automatically get the spacer/ventolin when she needs it. Admittedly, she hated it at first, but now realises that it makes sense awkward toad.

I know how scary it is, I really do, but please please don't get yourself stressed about it - I did, very much so, with DD3 at first, but now that we are being brilliantly managed by the hospital I know that she will be fine in the long run.

On a positive note, I'll see you soon and you can laugh at me in my tutu