to be in tears

[moogster1a]

Last night I slept on the settee as DH has a terrible cough and was keeping me awake.Don't mind at all as I'm short and fit on so find it comfy.
This morning woke up to ds2 screaming to get out of his cot.
I'm downstairs, dh is right next door to him.
I waited 10 minutes and there was no stirring from DH so I went and got him out.
Got a bit peeved that DH hadn't woken, and told him I know he can't help it if he doesn't wake but just depresses me that I feel I can never go anywhere for the night 'cos he would never wake to crying baby. ( this has been pointed out a few times; he just doesn't wake up).
Dh 'phoned from work to check I was OK as I was obviously a bit tired and emotional and after me saying again that it pisses me off that I feel I can't go anywhere as I'd worry he wouldn't wake for the baby, he said I never go anywhere anyway so it doesn't matter.
He wasn't saying it in a nasty way, he was trying to cheer me up in a sort of, that's something you don't need to worry about way.
It's true I don't go anywhere of an evening. I have friends at playgroups etc. that I talk to but TBH am too knackered to go out at night and am quite happy to have just me and DH at home together.
Just made me burst into tears as it implies I have no life outside the Dc.
I am pg so maybe taking it all to heart a bit. He was trying to be nice, now I feel like a BIlly no mates who's also been ratty at DH for no reason.
I don't even want to go out for the night, it was the implication that I never will do.
Being silly, aren't I. I think maybe I need at snooze when lo's sleep at lunchtime.

Yes I agree - snatch a nap when you can.

The way you're feeling is almost par for the course when you have little ones. It sometimes does feel like there's no life outside of the family home and the children. The fact is, that's what it's like for a while when your children are so wee....and sometimes you miss your social life and feel like a nae neebs. I've been there.

Please be assured that eventually the pressure does ease off and you will start to find yourself again. xxx

I also never wanted to go out when mine were little & had moved away so couldn´t easily have found someone to go out with.

When I was still in hospital having just had PSB, the baby across the way was crying in the night-mother merrily snoring away & didn´t wake!

I had to get up & tell the staff & they came woke her!

I'm confused- is he not named on the birth certificate?

Ooops wrong thread- no idea how that happened! sorry!

Moogster this is exactly what happened when DS1 was tiny. I burst into tears after DH told me that he was going to cancel my Cineworld card as 'I'd need to go at least twice a month to make it cost effective, and well, that's probably not going to happen?'

Thankfully now it's a funny anecdote and I can see his point, but I think they forget we do undergo a sense of humour bypass in the early days! - and you're also pregnant!

To stick up for your DH he was in bed with a cough so maybe not feeling 100% - < clutching at straws smiley>

mama does being named on the birth certificate give you super hearing?

wrong thread but it has really cheered me up... thanks!

i am waiting for the day I do that!

yabh(hormonally)u, dont worry nothing was meant by it and you are not a billy no mates... nap time me thinks.

My DH didn't wake in the night once DS was in his own room. And genuinely so. That left me as the WOH parent doing all nights. I still am with DS and now DD. You have to make sure that if DH is not waking at night he is doing something else to share the load, because doing the childcare all day and the childcare all night is really tough. Ask him what he suggests.

My suggestion would be that, for starters, he is home early and ready to do all childcare once a week so you can have a regular night out. That would have to include not going to bed until you get home so the not waking up problem does nto arise.

It's not fair. If you did need to leave your DH alone with the baby at night, you could always use a baby monitor right next to your DH's ear and crank it up high. Watch him sleep through that!

My dh never wakes either but I'd assume he would if I wasn't there but this hasn't been put to the test. I've been away a few times since ds was about 3 but wasn't getting up in the night at that point.

mine wakes if I kick him.

YANBU op, I cried at Neighbours every day when I was preg. You are allowed to cry.

Where do you live? You want to go to the pictures?

Isn't the whole point of a dh to take turns?

Life my dh would sleep through that.

With dd2 she was screaming full pelt-she was very loud-and he had not stirred. I was feeling irritated, so I put her mouth next to his ear and he didn't even flinch. She used to wake the neighbours before him. And he does have near perfect hearing, it was tested...

I was told if you bf you are wired to wake up to a baby cry. It certainly worked with me. I would always be wide awake at the first bleat, often when they were just wriggling. Dh would sleep though all.

I kick DH if he doesn't wake up too .

I never used to wake up either, DP always woke for DS before I did

We started turning the baby monitor up to full volume (and it's a BT digital one so fairly loud!) and that sorted it :)

DeWe, all I can say is - LOooL!

I rarely woke before DH. He used to jab me with an elbow when it was my turn I'm a very deep sleeper.

But if you went out for the evening your DH wouldn't be asleep would he? Why don't you meet friends for dinner or something? And tell DH he's to avoid going to sleep until you get back!

Dh and I agreed to take turns, except he would sleep through dd waking. I put the monitor on his side at full volume, and wore ear plugs. I still suspect to this day that he did it deliberately though

Moogster have some , a and a nap; you're doing so well, all told.

Hope things feel better for you.

tapir I love your name :)

I was going to suggest a baby monitor cranked up high too! That's what I did when dd3 was waking during the night. It is so bloody LOUD when you hear them crying on the monitor, nobody could sleep through that!

Thanks Nagoo it was my dd's doing - she's a clever soul