in just NOT understanding the rules of dating anymore?

[ColouringIn]

Too much to post really but in short am 46, separated 5 years, not dated much since, history of childhood sexual abuse (yes I've had counselling and other therapy), can't do online chat and too many men out there who seem to want an easy lay.

Friend just met a new bloke - seems a nice guy but they were practically having sex on the first date! Is this what men want these days? Because I don't think I can do it, I am probably too prudish but I like to know someone before I jump into bed with them.

Lots of messages on POF for me - some who cannot get beyond "Hi" , don't men talk anymore - and the ONE who DID manage more than Hi sent exactly the same message to my friend and then made the comment that "got to cast net wide to see how many fishies I can catch" .

And there an awful lot of men who are very specific in what they want........and I am evidently not IT.

How do I get more of an understanding of it all?

I think the thing with online dating is that in RL you are filtering out a lot of people without realising it. Where you go, where you work, friends of friends - you're all more likely to like them than your average randomer.

On dating websites (and my experience of them is nearly a decade out of date so might be wrong!) you get all sorts - including people you'd never strike up a conversation with!

Plenty of fish is dire, full of undesirables, at least join match.com.

Worra oi! I met my DF on POF, my mam met her husband and my friend met her fiance. They're not all weirdos.