to go behind my mums back on this?

[nilbyname]

I live in England, parents in Scotland. They have some pretty awful neighbours across the road. They have been served notice, and should be out by the end of the month. Great.

However, on the phone, my mum has told me some of their behaviour, mostly noisy, rude anti-social stuff, but they have a young child and from what my mum has told me, I think she should call SS.

My mum has heard about what is going on with the little girl from her friend who lives in the adjoining semi---she can hear everything.

My mum is older, and she thinks she could not call because--
She has not directly seen/heard anything
She might put her friend in danger
She might put herself in danger

So I have voiced my concerns, and have urged her to call NSPCC for some advice.

Obviously I do not want to drop my mum in it, but.......

I just don't know what to do!

What are the concerns?

They would have to be pretty serious for you to make a report on third hand information, as could well be gossip.

How much do you know/trust the person who has heard these things?

how would you voice it though? it's a pretty 3rd hand story

Well you could report - just be honest about the source and say that you are aware it's 3rd hand information but you are concerned that if it's true that it's servious.

If it is true that little child needs help.

You could report and if acted upon, they will probably suspect that it came from your mothers friend and she could face retaliation. That's assuming that ss take seriously information from someone hundreds of miles away, who has heard something from someone about someone...

Without wanting to give too much away....

We are talking neglect, not violence. Very poor parenting, anti-social hours being kept. Sleep all day, loud all night. Lots of drunken adults coming in/out of the house. House is v. dirty. Child is heard crying lots (not that that necessarily means anything on its own)

You know what.....I think I need to keep my nose out. The police has been round to the house already...surely they would have a duty to forward on to the SS?

I just don't know. I am not a gossip and I do not want to get anyone into trouble (esp my mum).

If challenged, your mum and friend could honestly say that they didn't make any reports to social services. I think I'd rather report and be wrong, than keep quiet and be wrong. That said, how serious would concerns have to be for your mum/her friend to act?

My mums reasoning is that she has not heard or seen anything herself, so it would be speculation.

Neighbour/friend has heard crying, seen in the windows of the house and everyone on the street hears the noise, sees the "visitors"

I think you would find it very difficult to make a reoprt on the grounds of 'my mums friend that lives next to ... etc' .... it's all so very second, if not third hand.

My mums reasoning is that she has not heard or seen anything herself, so it would be speculation. Your mum is right - your mums friend could just be a terrible gossip.

Neighbour/friend has heard crying, seen in the windows of the house and everyone on the street hears the noise, sees the "visitors" everyone? and no one thinks to report anything, they rely on 3rd hand story telling?

'Everyone' is a cop out. 'Everyone' in my sons class has a later bedtime/ iphone/xbox/laptop/puppy etc.