To think the courts......

[Mrbojangles1]

Aibu to think the courts will let a 13 year old decided, if and when thy want conatct.

I understand that for yonger children that the courts have to sort out whats best for the child .

But surley with a older child its up to them and if this i not the case what the frigg and you suppoesed to if they wont go its not like a little child who you can just make go or evan bribe if need be but not gonna happen with a 13 year old

Hes already saying if it gets that far he wont be going on set day only when if he wants

Yes, the courts will listen to a 13 year old.

Erm can you say that again in English please?

Certainly the court will listen to the expressed wishes and feelings of a 13 year old, but will also consider whether other factors should be taken into account.

Thank the lord phew.....

With all this talk with of you get worried really

Yes they will. My 12 year old refuses to see his father. My lawyer sent him a letter stating as much. My son is old enough to decide for himself.

Good luck!

Aibu to think the courts will let a 13 year old decided, if and when thy want conatct.

I understand that for yonger children that the courts have to sort out whats best for the child .

But surley with a older child its up to them and if this i not the case what the frigg are you gonna do if they wont go its not like a little child who you can just make go or evan bribe if need be, but its not gonna happen with a 13 year old

Hes already saying if it gets that far he wont be going on set days he will only go if and when he wants

Hopefully thats better

DamselInTornDress

So i can send a letter from my lawyer to his out saying my chaos needs and wants before it gets to court

Then if it gets to court stage ex will be fighting against my childs wishes, demanding somthing that my lad dose not want

Mrbojangles1, we didn't go to court. All it took was a lawyers letter to my ex's lawyer and the matter was sorted. So I would say yes, send a lawyers letter and if your ex takes it to court he is, as you say, demanding something his son doesn't want.

Btw, access and child support are two separate issues too, so even if your son doesn't see his father, his father must pay support for him.

Well we found out three weeks ago ex had been in jail for quite some time

So my lawyers have asked for details outlining his crimnail recored before any talk of conatct can start

After all he could of been inside for any thing

Him being in prison is a genuine cause of concern, from yours and the courts perspective.

Under the Children Act a child must have his wishes and feelings heard and taken account of. A 13 year old will be included in the decision making.

The court may appoint someone to make sure that his wishes are known to the court and taken into account, but this depends on how far your ex takes things.

He won't be forced to have contact and PR is on a 'sliding scale', so after around 14, you will not be held accountable for maintaining that contact, unless SNis present.

The age of consent etc is 13, that is when the child is considered to understand the implications and consequences of decisions. It is a teenagers right to make their own choices.

BIRDS he dosent have PR as ds was born before 2003 me and my oh have it the day after we got married oh went and applied for step parent PR

Also this prison term was not that long ago from the sound of things

Thank you so much ladies i been going out of my mind

Relax. Your ex is more an irritation than a real threat. He wont have a leg to stand on.

The courts have to listen to the wishes and feelings of the child, but please bear in mind that these wishes are not determinative. It can be argued that a child of this age cannot make major decisions on other matters; for example deciding they don't want to go to school or stopping you moving house. The court might also believe he is putting forward your views rather than his own.

My GS loathes contact with his father who fails to turn up and leaves him with his parents who do nothing at all with him. His criminal record - he has just been convicted of grievous bodily harm - was considered, but the court said the child had a right to a relationship with his father.

I agree with you, but having been through the system am adding a note of caution.

I think birds is dead right with children in care the courts usually have no way of making teens have conatct

Btw my child is not in care btw i was just making a point

Heading up to ten and after months of me.bringing a child to contact who refused to go the court left that one off orders.

I meant that any PR is a sliding scale, as they go past 14 a parent is held less and less responsible for some of their teens actions, as teens are not easy to control.

So you will not be held responsible for him not going to contacts, if ordered (which i doubt that he will be).

It will go back to court and your son will not be forced to attend.