To ask those Mumsnetters who are teachers....

[JamieOliveOil]

If you discuss or show your colleagues some of the lovely or terrible gifts you receive from your students? Or is it not good etiquette to discuss?

I'm interested as I'm thinking of buying my DS's teacher - who's brilliant - a better gift than my DD's teacher who for most of the year has been indifferent. However, I may not do that if there's a possibility they could discuss and therefore compare gifts. Thanks

You're joking right?

Talk about over thinking things. What would the consequence be of such a terrible terrible action?

Perhaps you'll get an official school letter through your door with "Cow" written in big red pen....

It depends on the size of the school. If it is a huge school then it is unlikely they would know. If it is a village primary they are quite likely to see so I would be careful.

I don't really. A particularly nice gift might get mentioned (or shown off!) in passing though.

The only ones that really discussed where I work are the very expensive ones because they have to be declared and, if too expensive, can't be accepted.

On principle I never open presents in school as I know several children would like to give, but monetary worries at home do not allow this. I make sure I value the daisies picked on the way to school as much as the beautifully wrapped efforts- and yes, I take them all home with me! In my case, no-one would know what I was given by any child. HTH.

No, this is incredibly unlikely.

Although last year there were exclamations at the size of the Amazon vouchers (whole-class gift) given to some of the KS1 teachers

No, not joking at all - it was a serious question, although perhaps I am over thinking things. I wouldn't like to hurt anyone's feelings but my DS's teacher has gone above and beyond this year and I feel that I'd like to show that in a particularly nice gift.

It's a fairly small school so perhaps greater chance of it being mentioned?

We swap wine. I don't Chardonnay, and loads of people don't like red, so we do a swap.

Otherwise, no idea what people got last year. I don't remember what I got last year!

I think you're looking at it the wrong way round.

You (quite rightly) want to give the outstanding teacher a reward for being so great.

That's all you need to concentrate on...the other teacher is going to get a small token of appreciation and again, that's quite right.

I'm sure they're all professional adults and doubt they give a low flying shite what their colleagues get

We all take them into the staff room at the end of term, compare, and give marks out of 10. We then use that information when deciding how to grade your children on their next report.

(joking, just in case anyone doesn't realise).

Endo !!

We don't. We're grateful that someone has taken the time to send a gift. It's special education school where the pupils do key stages as oppossed to years to may have the same teacher for 2 years. There's also 4-5 people in each class (teachers and LSA's). We may put loadsa some in the staffroom for everyone to share and say it came from X pupil!

A box of chocolates or biscuits for the staff is appreciated as much as individual gifts.

My favourite ever present has been from a lad with CP who painted mugs for us all. Such an acheivement and it's on my shelf in my room.

Nope, never occurred to me that we would compare gifts. In my experience only the truly odd things get mentioned - not the really nice things (not sure why, may look like bragging I suppose). By odd I mean the teacher who was given an underwear catalogue (no. We had no idea why either) and the (female) teacher given a set of men's toiletries and a tie. Personally I don't open things until I'm home anyway, partly because the last day is usually a party so I'm running around organising things, partly because I don't want children or parents who have chosen not to bring anything to feel uncomfortable, and partly because there are several TAs working with me and often I get a bigger present than them, (not sure why, but I do) and I feel awkward about that.

So do things as you had planned. No one will know or mind!

Ok so it seems I have been over thinking things and that the staff will be too tired and busy to care discuss. Thanks a lot, I'll proceed as planned

Just send a thank you letter to the teacher who's done so much and ensure the Head gets a copy. Send the other one nothing.

Eskarina it would never occur to me to give a TA a smaller/less expensive present than the teacher.

would you buy a present for your dc's sixth form teacher who is also their tutor who has taught your dc for the past 7 years. (ds leaving the upper 6th and school is v small (180)?

A lovely thank you note would be greatly appreciated, I promise you.

Another vote for the thank you note here too. I don't expect presents. Obviously I appreciate them but appreciation and expectation are totally different. My class many years ago cut out their photographs and put them in a clip frame for me - a few came back for work experience recently and were really touched that I still had it. (although i did have to wipe the dust off before I showed them...)

eat yes, I just bought my DSD's tutor a gift as my DSD has also finished upper sixth.

I also send a hand written card for each of the DC's teachers from us as Parents.

I'm only thinking of spending a few pounds - each teacher will get homemade cookies in cellophane but I was thinking of getting DS's teacher something else (small). Rather than the monetary value, it's an extra symbol of our appreciation to DS's teacher.

Anyway, as has been pointed out up thread (and elsewhere now!) I am, obviously, way over thinking this (not unusual for me)

I agree with the poster who suggested a complimentary letter to the head re: the teacher who went above and beyond. In addition to whatever you might want to get for her. I would do this.

gategipsy as I said it makes me feel very awkward when it is obvious that I, as the teacher get a substantially bigger present (or get something when the lovely TAs get nothing) but I suppose I'm there all the time and this year I have had 4 different TAs with me, all part time, one for just two afternoons, the one who does most does every morning, and I suppose lots of parents feel they have to draw the line somewhere.