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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not take presents today?

20 replies

TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 · 23/06/2012 08:38

DD (5) has been invited to a joint birthday party today. We have had a really rough month money-wise so my plan was to take cards for the birthday girls and explain that I'd get presents next week when DH gets paid.

DH thinks it's wrong to turn up "empty-handed". The mums in question are both friends of mine, and I know they will not take offence or mind. There are lots of children going so there will be plenty to open without our gifts.

AIBU? We could drive to our nearest town and pick up something small, but I'd rather wait till he gets paid and order or buy something decent as they are good friends of my DD.

OP posts:

dexter73 · 23/06/2012 08:39

Sounds ok to me. I certainly wouldn't mind if you did this.

RandomNumbers · 23/06/2012 08:39

I would tape a £2 coin to the inside of each card

Mama1980 · 23/06/2012 08:40

If they won't mind I don't see the problem. I would just explain as you have here- I wouldn't mind at all.

FormerlyTitledUntidy · 23/06/2012 08:46

I would give a card amd tell the parents something about an online mix up meaning presents have not been delivered yet, hopefully soon. I wouldn't like to turn up and not say anything or have to explain low funds

Sirzy · 23/06/2012 08:48

I would have probably explained before the party but YANBU.

Pickgo · 23/06/2012 08:49

Just get something cheap small. If there's loads of kids going then they will have loads of tat plenty of presents anyway.

Think you are overthinking kids get way too much nowadays anyway

pictish · 23/06/2012 08:58

Funny - I'm in exactly the same position today. 2 parties, fuck all funds. I'm going to have to turn up empty handed as well....and yes, I'm quite mortified about it.

mysteryfairy · 23/06/2012 09:07

I've done this all the time - lack of time to shop rather than lack of funds usually. Just say breezily that you haven't had chance to get to the shops but will pick something out over the weekend and give it to them next week. As long as you keep you word I can't see why it isn't fine.

There might be a few people in similar position today if they bank with Natwest.

I would also consider starting a present collection then you can buy things when you have money, take advantage of bargains and not be in this position again if you don't like it. I did a massive shop from Jack Wills last summer at the tail end of the sale and most of DD's friends (with the obvious exception of those who aren't fans) have had Jack Wills bags and stationery this year. I've just bought another consignment of water bottles, make up bags etc from the JW outlet - hope they continue to like it next year!

RedBlanket · 23/06/2012 09:10

Wouldn't bother me if you just turned up with a card. In fact I'd rather you spent your money on your family than mine if you're struggling.
Kids at that age don't notice how much stuff cost, mine would be happy with a packet of sweets and some football stickers.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 23/06/2012 09:22

I wouldn't mind if someone turned up at a party empty handed, really.

Could your DC make a card? Then they at least have something to hand over. We have started to make all of our own cards now, and save a fortune!

Hope they enjoy the party.

Original poster

TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 · 23/06/2012 09:23

We're not really struggling, just had a mix-up with DH's expense claim so the money didn't come through, then went camping and had to spend more than expected due to crap weather! Next month should be fine :)

I don't feel mortified - most people are in the same boat at some point. As they're good friends of my DD and I do socialise with the mums, I'd rather get a decent gift. And I do usually have a stash of presents ready but it's a bit depleted at the moment and have nothing age-appropriate.

OP posts:

Whatevertheweather · 23/06/2012 09:26

Could you bake some cakes/biscuits to take along for them?

I wouldn't mind at all and DD wouldn't notice who bought what and she's 5.

NorksAreMessy · 23/06/2012 09:31

Not much help for today, I am afraid, but for the future, I am happy to make little 'name' necklaces for party presents (free of course) for any Mnetter who would like me to.
It's what I do and I am happy to help

RedBlanket · 23/06/2012 09:36

Homemade cakes and biscuits would go down very well here.

5madthings · 23/06/2012 09:36

i have done this, but have told the parents in advance, by txt if necessary, that i havent had the chance to sort a present/am a bit short of funds and will bring something in a few days etc. its never been a problem, particularly if htey are reasonably good friends as you say :)

get the kids to make cards and yes you could always bake some biscuits etc, that would be nice :)

henrysmama2012 · 23/06/2012 10:03

What about a cute bag of sweets for each child? Id have loved that when I was little

Original poster

TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 · 23/06/2012 11:25

Thanks for all the advice - think I will text beforehand. And thanks for the idea of a name bracelet/necklace... I do sometimes make jewellery so must stock up on some letter beads for that and make them in advance! Actually... I do have some really nice beads that I could make little stretchy bracelets out of for today... ooh, that's an idea!

OP posts:

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 23/06/2012 12:15

I ould not mind if you said that. hope the bracelets go well..

RedBlanket · 23/06/2012 12:52

Good idea, they would go down really well with all little girls I've known.

MammaTJ · 23/06/2012 14:19

I wouldn't mind at all and know my friends don't either. I know because I have done it!

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