To be fed up of people thinking peanut allergies are the worst?

[misdee]

Not many take the eggs and milk part of my daughters allergies as seriously as her nut allergy.

Why?

Why do some assume that peanut allergies are always deadly and others aren't?

Anaphylatics is anaphylatics whatever the trigger is.

Yes, I understand that, and I am telling you why they disregard it. All you have to do is to explain it, I've found. People are very willing to understand and help, unless you get narky with them and talk down to them.

YANBU
DS is allergic to eggs and nuts. In his case his nut allergy is very severe, his egg is a milder reaction (Egg needs piriton - nuts needs epipen) but still has very unpleasent reaction to eggs (bad hives and itching which makes his eczema worse and takes weeks to settle down).
I am absolutely sick to death of people assuming I am just being PFB when I ask them not to go near him with egg sandwiches etc.

The worst time was at my DN party. My sister had put cake in all party bags but DS's, and came to ask me if he would like flapjack instead. I said that would be great if she didn't mind (she would have to buy that extra) but if it was expensive not to bother. DS is 2 years, so probably wouldn't care. Sis said it was no problem and sorted it.
She told the woman handing the bags out that DS's bag was the blue one with DS's name on (the others were not named). Anyway the woman gave DS's to DN, but only realised as DS went to get a bag. Sis tried to swap with DN, but in the process dropped the flapjack on the sticky and filthy floor.
I said it was no big deal, just take the cake out. Sis said no I will buy another flapjack for him. This was met by other parents tutting and whispering that I was being fussy and ungreatful?!
I said very loudly to DS "Egg allergies are the pitts, aren't they darling!"
That was greated with a few mutters of "oh I thought she was just being fussy!"
(sorry for the rant)

Also, I was looking for Allergy notification things (prior to the nut allergy diagnosis) and there is nothing out there for Egg allergy sufferers.

I do explain. I don't get narky. I don't talk down to them

I am just FED up of it.

To the poster who said Egg has to touch, it does not in all cases.
All allergies are on a spectrum of intensity.
DS had a reaction when I was eating egg in the same room as him. I made sure I didn't eat near him, washed my hands and face and brushed my teeth before going near him and he had hives.
My sister was so allergic to eggs as a child (out grown it luckily) if she came in the kitchen when we were baking her face would swell. That is with no direct contact.
That is why when allergy testing they do a pinprick test and measure the swelling. The bigger the swelling the more severe the reaction. Over a certain size an epipen is issued, below that piriton is prescribed.

"All you have to do is to explain it, I've found. People are very willing to understand and help, unless you get narky with them and talk down to them."

Some are, some aren't.

Some persist on calling it an intolerance after you've explained nicely. Then when you try to nicely correct them (because it IS important) they look at you as if you are being narky and talking down to them.

Some nod in an understanding fashion then hand them the exact thing you have just said they can't have, which was what prompted the conversation in the first place. When you explain AGAIN why your DC can't have it they look at you as if you are being narky and talking down to them.

yanbu to be fed of it. yanbu to blame everyone else.

most people will learn and be helpful. A few people just aren't that bright. Whaddya gonna do?

the second yanbu was a yabu, obv

the second yanbu was a yabu, obv

Fair enough Ballon.

To my knowledge I only know three people that have nut allergies and they all have epipens, but I know (and work with) too many children to count who can't have egg or milk. None of them has ever had an epipen , and in many of those cases the worst that will happen is that they will get a rash or a tummy upset. Which is of course horrible, but not life threatening. None of the parents of children that I have worked with that have milk or egg allergies are worried enough that we have had to keep them away from milk completely, we have just had to make sure they don't drink milk.

So I am going on my experience, but I think my experience is quite common and it's probably the reason that milk/egg allergies aren't taken as seriously. Which is understandably very frustrating when you have to deal with an allergy that is especially serious.

I don't understand why you are getting so fed up OP.
Provide the food for your DC yourself. Tell them that no other food should be eaten. Make it easy for them to care for your DC.

I don't know much about allergies so forgive me! . I always thought peanut allergies can be fatal but not so milk and eggs. If this is wrong then people need educating. I'd never heard of other allegies being fatal.

It's not always that simple though kitty. My sister is allergic to peanuts and reacts when close to them. If they are out on tables at parties she can't go near that table, if they were sold on a plane she was on she would react (she has a medical note asking airlines to not sell them which they thankfully do happily)

op has already mentioned her child reacts if she touches the products so it does take a level of awareness from others to ensure spills are cleaned up, childrens hands cleaned etc to reduce the risk.

I do provide food. I o make things easy for her nursery to care for her.

New toddler groups, I have to ask about food. If kids are snacking whilst playing its an issue. If they all sit down for snacks it's not a big a worry.

She may react by being in the same room as an allergen, but trace amounts on hands, ables etc are an issue.

I et people know what her allergies are, and the peanut usually gets the biggest concern from others. I tell them that her biggest reactions are milk and eggs, not nuts, but still some don't get it.

They are probably just thinking..what the fuck?

We had one woman come into to toddler group and tell everyone that not only were we to ban all milk and nuts, we we also to not let our children have milk or nuts the day of and the day before toddler group, because they might cause a reaction for her child. It's extreme behaviours like that that make people think that there are over-reactions.

I don't do that!

I don't actually agree with bans.

But I do like to be prepared.

its so obvious kittyfane1 that you dont live in an allergy world. so your comments are understandable.
there are 3 meals a day, with snacks for young children, and every single mouthful has to be safe. every time. food is linked to every social occasion, and is often available to young fingers to reach. If you can imagine letting your child in to a party, and someone has sprinkled some of the buffet with rat poison, would you stay? would you leave? or would you let your child eat? would you let them play and touch other children who had eaten from that buffet? would you let granny kiss your baby after she has eaten the food as well?

How reactions move from mild to anaphylaxis;

in my understanding, any ige allergy can go from mild to anaphylaxis depending on various factors.

the amount ingested at the time.

uncontrolled asthma can push to full blown anaphylaxis.

health of person at time of accidental reaction, so recovering from a virus or chest infection, or similar illness. ( these are periods of time when you must be ultra careful, not a time to try new foods)

alcohol speeds up absorbtion of food in stomach so can speed up a reaction. also judgement gets impaired etc.

hormones, so teens and woman who are having a period can have a more severe reaction.

if 'allergy cup' is rather full , so if suffering badly from environmental allergies, leaves little gap for a an accidental food ingestion to go to anaphylaxis.

contact reactions happen, and for the most part are mild and easy to sort out, however if hives are large and wide spread this may indicate a high level of reaction that may tip over.

--

have a son with multiple (as often happens) to food and environment. has had many, many reactions used epi pens 3 x.

over the years had the 'muchoussen by proxy' muttered in hushed tones in the play ground by parents.

had a leading teacher question us with sarcastic comments, and compared anaphlaxis to fainting.

I dont expect GPs (apart from my wonderful one) to understand anything about allergies, esp the older ones who frequently get confused with ige and intolerance allergies. this is not their fault, the speed of children and adults with allergies has left the medical proffession with gaps in education.
Sometimes i bother with giving them any info, mostly i just ask them to check my son over and leave.

I know that hospital trained docs wont of come across a epi pen and wouldnt know how to use an epi pen. Once on one of our hosptial dashes we sat in the childrens ward and we showed some student docs how to use one, they were fasinated and had never seen an epi pen. am sure they wont see another one for many years either.

Recently one of my other children has been diagnosed with milk and soya intolerence. I greeted this with such relief, and although shopping is expensive/difficult to source, and we have to plan food in greater detail to suit two children with food problems, intolerence is NOTHING compared to living with and going through anaphylaxis.

Its NOT that people don't have the same information. What is annoying is when you tell them about your child's allergies they are still not taken seriously because they ARE NOT NUT ALLERGIES.

Hell, I hand over my DS' allergy kit - including epi-pen. He does not have a nut allergy, he doesn't have food allergies (except ketchup but that's only ever caused swelling/rash).

It scares the fuck out of me that no-one will watch him as closely as someone with a nut allergy because it's not as serious.

Put him in a field with a peanut allergic child and he is most at risk as he has environmental allergies.

I suspect some people think "intolerance" is a posher word than "allergy" so they feel they're being clever using it. Not so clever when it's the WRONG WORD.

YANBU - there are a number of factors at play though which explain in part why this happens:

1. peanuts have got all the publicity over the years - I suspect this is due in part to the background to the Anaphylaxis Campaign which I think was founded by a guy whose daughter died in Debenhams in the early 1990s after eating nuts. If you look at the magazines they still say 'supported by Debenhams' or something on the front.

2. there is a 'vogue' for some people (and I'm absolutely not aiming this at anyone whose child has a genuine allergy/intolerance) to claim 'allergies' to gluten, eggs, dairy etc. My own SIL claims she is allergic to dairy and wheat and yet I've seen her have a slice of pizza 'as a treat, even though I know I'll suffer for it'. She's also been in restaurants (not with us, I'd throttle her if she did it with us there) and insisted on starter/main being dairy and wheat free and then had some cream on her pudding 'as a treat' - at that point who can blame people for thinking her 'allergy' isn't serious. She once went to a quack in a Health Shop who 'diagnosed' these allergies and when she did cut out both for a month 'felt lots better and lost weight' - well no shit, you couldn't have cakes, biscuits, chocolate, pizza etc you ate a lot more fruit and veg - I'd feel better if I was eating like that too!

The second factor is incredibly frustrating for all allergy sufferers and their families but it makes it doubly hard if the person is allergic to something other than nuts I suspect...

"Provide the food for your DC yourself. Tell them that no other food should be eaten. Make it easy for them to care for your DC."

< hollow laugh >

And when you provide the food. And they give your DC something they shouldn't have. And they say "but he wanted it. It doesn't have milk in." And you point out that "whey powder" IS milk. And they shrug. What do you do then?

youarekidding, I think you are talking about a very few people, and are determined to think the worse of everyone. Its understandable because the constancy of the work and worry get you down, but its not helpful.

YANBU. Although I don't have food allergies I get hayfever that has put me in hospital many times as my airways swell & I can't breathe. The number of people who've said "oh yes, my cousin/friend/neighbour has that and do you know if you take a teaspoon of local honey every morning it'll be cured" even when it's been explained to them that my situation is life threatening is begining to piss me off.

It's not that they don't know that environmental allergies can be potentially fatal, it's that they don't listen when you tell them & then presume to tell you that they have the magic cure that 30+ years of allergy specialists have missed.

Pisses me off no end & makes me vaguely homicidal each time it happens. Am considering getting a t-shirt printed that says "yes it is bad; no you didn't realise it could do that; yes I have heard about honey; now feck off". Or I may just strangle them with my nebuliser tube...

My DS is allergic to milk and eggs, severely. A toddler group we go to is nut free but happily serves up butter biscuits during the break. When I asked them to change this to foods all children can eat they told me they would provide a table for the 'allergy kids' and give them different food, it hadn't crossed their minds how this would FEEL or that kids move with food so that's no good either. Finally the woman (vile small minded idiot) told me that the parents might be upset at going without their chocolate biscuits. Can you believe that?? Finally enough mothers complained so they changed their snacks. We're not going back, I can't walk in the place now as I'm so outraged by the response.

I agree with all the above difficulties and I know some 'friends' think I'm neurotic when I ask them to wipe their kids face after an ice-cream before they launch it all over my son. People have no idea how terrifying it is to worry for your childs life every time some-one gets snacks out. He is gradually growing out of it and I only have one wish in life which is that it would go.

You made them change their snacks and then refused to go back? No wonder we get a bad name with that kind of behaviour.

No please read my post properly. They refused to change their snacks when I asked them too. When lots of mothers asked them to they realised they had to do something. I have never felt I have a 'bad name' for asking that people help me keep my son safe, really? Anyone really thinks that parents of children with allergies have a bad name? What nonsense!!! I think anyone would feel for us and do their absolute level best to help. However some people don't understand how serious it is. However I do think that fellow parents of children with allergies shouldn't make biting comments like yours!