AIBU? Clerks in Shops Offering Stuff to my 3YO

[SlimSchadey]

Today I went shopping at Westfield Stratford with my 3yo DD. She had been promised new Crocs after going to bed nicely for an entire week. So, she picked out a pair that she loved, and I offered her one of those Jibbet things to choose to stick in them. She chose one that she loved and was completely happy. We were getting ready to pay and the woman in the shop came over and said TO HER, "Wouldn't you like some more of those to put in your new Crocs"? And of course, she wanted more, knowing they were on offer. I didn't want to be a jerk and not buy them for her, but felt a bit annoyed.

Then, we went to Clark's because they had a big sale on. She needed new trainers. She picked out a pair in the sale rack and then the clerk came back and put them on her and said, "We didn't have the ones she wanted on her size, but these look similar." And they did, but the ones on the sale rack were a tenner, and these were 30 quid. Of course my DD loved them, and they were already on her feet. If she'd told me ahead of time, I would have said no thank you and not tried them on. After paying, I told the manager, who was lovely, and she offered to drop the price of the trainers to 20, which I thought was really nice.

I do know how to say, "No" but it is easier if the clerk doesn't put the shoes on the kid, or offer her some lovely, sparkly bits to stick on her Crocs, directly. It might be a quick sale now, but I'm not going to shop in shops that do this for much longer. I'm the money-earning grown up, and I'm the customer.

Anyone else feel like this? AIBU?

Clerk? What's a jibbet? They should direct their sales technique at you not your daughter. It's underhanded I think.

I think that's bad patter on their part.

Jibbets are these charms that you stick in the holes of Crocs to personalise them. They are also a great way to separate you from your hard earned cash!

That's awful! Basically putting you in an awkward position to push a sale. Admittedly it worked and probably would have on me too (soft touch!) but it doesn't give a great impression and as you said, you're hardly likely to be encouraged to return.

It doesn't sound like you do know how to say no. I think shop assistants are cheeky but it's their job to make a sale and your job as the money-earning grown-up to decide whether or not to part with your money.

Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down and make a list with your DD of what you need at the shops. Tell her you'll only be buying what's on the list and stick to it.

I understand your frustration but nobody is forcing you to part with your money and your daughter needs to be told no on occasion if you want her to learn she can't have everything she wants. The world won't end if she doesn't get it all. And for that reason YABU

I don't know about the rest of it but you are definitely being unreasonable to put your child in crocs.

Never ever come across that in Clarkes before. They only put out sizes on the sale rack they have in stock. So YABU to promise a child shoes that are not available.

and YABU re Crocs

YANBU. I really dislike direct selling to children, which then guilts parents into compliance.

NiceCup --

I agree and she is generally quite good if she is looking at something and asks and I say that she can't have it, she knows to move on. We always do have a list, talk about what we are going to buy, etc.

It's just that when another adult comes and offers directly to her, it's different. I would like them to ask me. She's three. They have to know that this can create stress for the parent.

This never happens in places like John Lewis or Selfridges where I think they value the customer's experience more and also have longer-term employees.

Hoops -- when we walked into Clarks, the saleswoman specifically said, "we have more sizes than what is here" which is the only reason we asked.

Lucie -- what is wrong with Crocs?

You need to complain to the store manager in writing- it's not okay to offer something to a 3yo, and then expect a parent to pay.

YABU about the crocs though.

They wouldn't do if if parents learned not to indulge their children all the time. Did you have a gun to your head? If so YANBU.

But offering the more expensive trainers may have been a genuine mistake on the part of the salesperson.

This is basically all about pester power, and I don't like it either. But unfortunately, it's a very effective sales technique with parents who just can't say no. You were just another one of their suckers today I'm afraid.

I think Crocs look sweet on children. They always strike me as children's shoes for some reason; I think because they remind me of the old jelly shoes.

I don't think the salesperson in Clarks did anything wrong. You were looking for trainers, she brought you trainers for your DD to try. She didn't lie about the price. If you thought they were too expensive you don't buy them and tell your DD why.

I think the situation with the Jibbets is worse as the salesperson directly approached your DD which is out of order but you could have just said "no DD, I said you may have ONE so you can only have one"

I'd like to know whats wrong with crocs too?

Yadnbu
To other posters: I think when a grown up asks a 3 yo if they want something they actually making out that the choice is the 3 y olds. ie "you can have it if you want it".

why ask her, when she may not be able to have it?

You cannot offer something, when it is not yours to give
Hope that makes sense

Tbh if someone offered my 3yo old something in this situation, I'd assume it was free as part of the crocs, or charge the sales assistant
It was her that offered made the offer IYSWIM

I wouldn't have bought anything extra under these circumstances, if DS had thrown a tantrum about it then I'd have stayed in the shop a long, long time to let the sales assistants feel the full effects of their sales techniques.

DS is a pretty easygoing little chap though so if I'd said (in best loud parenting voice) 'No DS, we're going to go to a better shop where the sales assistants don't harass us and buy lots of nice things there' he'd probably have gone along with it.

Yanbu, and what's this idea about not putting crocs on a three year old? Perfect summer footwear. The fact that summer appears to have been cancelled is a whole other thread...

I like that svrider! I wonder if any of us would have the nerve to tell the cashier that the sales assistant is paying for the extra jibbets

YANBU about the Jibbets. You should have said no, but the sales assistant was out of order to offer them directly to your DD.

YABU about the trainers. I think it's standard practice to bring a very similar design if the one you've asked for is out of stock. It happens to me all the times in Clarks and more often than not it's helpful. If you only wanted the sale ones, you should have said 'no alternatives please' to the sales assistant.

lol @ Queen

I don't think "YABU" minding the shop assistants doing this.

I do think YAB just a little bit U by calling them "clerks" though ;)

I don't like it either but they are there to sell and probably work on some sort of commission. I used to have a Saturday job in a shoe shop and we had to write down all our sales and we'd get pulled up if we did not sell enough and we had to push the 'fancies' ie the polish, insoles etc.

Get your jibbets on Ebay, they are much cheaper!

YANBU about either tbh.

I agree with svrider on the crocs terrible behaviour from the assistant with the potential to ruin what should have been a treat purchase, I can see why the OP gave in here for the sake of a few pounds but I would have been quietly fuming too.

The assistant in Clarks should have come back to say there are non in your size in the sale, would you like me to bring some non sale ones? Having said that I think the Clarks manager responded well, hopefully the assistant will get extra training.