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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed

53 replies

lancs02 · 22/06/2012 19:33

So I am 30 weeks pregnant and its our 11th wedding anniversary on Sunday.
I admit I have arranged to work for a few hours in the afternoon. I am self employed so could have declined event. Choose not to as its only a small local Fete. I was working on basis that we could all go.
So this evening dh said he was thinking of taking dc somewhere else when I am working but had a rethink as there is a Grand Prix and football on.
So it would seem dh plans to spend a large part of our wedding anniversary watching sport.
AIBU to be disappointed.

OP posts:
NettoSuperstar · 22/06/2012 20:00

YABU, it's the Grand prix.

Dprince · 22/06/2012 20:04

So you are upset that he isn't taking the kids out? Or that he isn't spending your anniversary with you?
Tbh you sound like you wouldn't be happy what ever. Imo you arranged to work, he clearly thought that was a sign you weren't bothered about doing something special. As you said, you chose to work. He is choosing to watch sport. Am I missing something?

Nanny0gg · 22/06/2012 20:08

How unreasonable of the OP to arrange to work (for which she will presumably be paid) somewhere where she could still see her family.
And if her DH is watching sport he won't exactly be watchig the DCs, will he?

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 22/06/2012 20:09

Perhaps you should arrange something special together for next weekend when there is no GP and try not to get upset... It's hard enough being 30 wks pg anyway, so just try to find a nice easy solution :)

Original poster
lancs02 · 22/06/2012 20:09

I think I would accept him saying no I not taking kids out as I want to watch Grand Prix.
Having been apart in the afternoon though I thought it might be nice to spend some quality time in the evening. Unfortunately, watching football is not what i had in mind.

OP posts:
AnyoneForTennis · 22/06/2012 20:11

It's 90 minutes!

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 22/06/2012 20:14

Unfortunately your husband can't rearrange the football. How inconvenient of England to have won their group and this be forced to ruin your day on Sunday.

It is unfair of you to expect him not to watch sonething that is ultimately a rare event. If it was a friendly then fair enough but give the guy a break.

I'm not bothered about celebrating anniversaries on the specific date though.

Original poster
lancs02 · 22/06/2012 20:18

Thank you Nanny. I am being quite picky with my events at the moment as i am heavily pregnany. I don't want to do outdoor events which require errecting a gazebo etc but I don't want my business to suffer completely. It was a decision I didn't take lightly.
The match is 90 minutes. However, the actual programme is alot longer than 90 minutes.
And yes, nanny i suspect kids will not get quality time with dad.

OP posts:
Dprince · 22/06/2012 20:20

nanny it is possible to watch sport and the kids. The op hasn't said she is worried he can't look after dcs. Just that is watching it instead of what she wants him yo do.
Maybe he didn't particularly want you to work and said ok because its paid work. He maybe felt he couldn't say no.

LucieMay · 22/06/2012 20:23

Why not just go out on Saturday night instead?!

Dprince · 22/06/2012 20:29

Seriously op which reason is it?

skeggy81 · 22/06/2012 20:36

I can see why you are disappointed. I think I would be too. (Also pregnant and hormonal)

Original poster
lancs02 · 22/06/2012 20:42

I just wanted to spend some quality time with dh and dc. We see very little of each other during the week so weekends are special.
Hopefully we will do something nice on Saturday although can't go out as no sitter arranged. Especially as I was invited out tomorrow but declined as I consider weekends to be family time.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/06/2012 20:45

How can you spend quality time when you will be working though? Sorry but it does sound as though you are making it difficult just for the sake of it, and playing the martyr.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 22/06/2012 20:53

You are working four hours

He is watching sport for 4 hours. Luckily some of it overlaps. You will have 2 hours out of your day for the football and four for you working.

Would you rather drag him out to dinner and have him distracted because he wants to know what the score is?

If you can't get a sitter Saturday night why don't you just have a lovely home cooked dinner and get a movie or something.

Dh left me at home while he went to an acquaintances wedding on one of our wedding anniversaries! We just celebrated the following night.

Original poster
lancs02 · 22/06/2012 20:54

I suppose thats fair squeaky
Maybe working was a mistake. It has given dh an excuse to sit and watch Grand Prix. Just wondering now though whether we would do anything if I wasn't working.
Gess I am getting a bit fed up of being a football widow. Not just now but every winter as dh is a season ticket holder. Plus all the other random games which crop up.

OP posts:
EverybodysSleepyEyed · 22/06/2012 21:02

I sympathise. And if it was a normal club match mid season I would say yanbu

As for the grand prix, maybe if you hadn't been working he wouldn't have watched the grand prix. As it is he is watching it while you are out. Unless the timings are different.

Don't let it spoil your day. These things happen. Doesn't make your anniversary any less important!

skateboarder · 22/06/2012 22:19

If your wedding anniversary was that important it wouldnt matter when or how you celebrated.
I doubt your dh can win!
With (kindness cos you are pg) yabu op

jaydenmummylovesyou · 22/06/2012 23:31

no1currs. And you're being unreasonable.

iknowwho · 22/06/2012 23:41

It has given dh an excuse to sit and watch Grand Prix.

So you need an excuse to watch the Grand Prix? Confused

How about it is something he enjoys watching (so does my DH) and the football is topical at the moment.

It's only an anniversery and not a special one at that. (yeah I get special to you but not like a 25th or anything)

YABU and a bit precious tbh. The kids aren't going to suffer because their dad is watching a race and the match like a lot of people up and down the country will be doing.

bubbles84 · 23/06/2012 09:52

I do understand how you feel. I too am self employed. It's hard work building a business and I rarely turn down work. Aa a result I ended up working on my wedding anniversary. However, my dh was happy to come along to the event with our dd. Everyone was happy.

Dprince · 23/06/2012 09:54

Its has give him an excuse, really?

Original poster
lancs02 · 23/06/2012 09:59

Sorry, that sounds terrible. However, we have history on this score. Eg. cuting short a family day out just for qualifying!

OP posts:
iknowwho · 23/06/2012 18:27

cuting short a family day out just for qualifying!

Nowt wrong with that!! Happens here all the time.
If you can't beat 'em join em!!!

(we are all F1 fans!)

TartyMcFarty · 23/06/2012 18:38

If you can't beat 'em join em!!!

Yes, why not suggest an evening out watching the footy on a big screen followed by a meal?

Or even not setting so much store by a flipping wedding anniversary or valentine's day in the first place? It's not as if it's a milestone anniversary either.