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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go to this Ann Summers party?

14 replies

MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:04

Bit of background - Ive been friends with a woman for around 5 years, we met through a mutual friend while we were both pregnant, and my DS and her DD have always been firm friends so we tended to meet up on weekends to let the kids play.
I lost my mam just before xmas last year in horrible circumstances, and although friend had my DS so I could attend the wake, she has never bothered to ask how I am, in fact, I have come to realise that she has never done the 'how are you?' when meeting up, just launched into how shitty her own life is and paid very little attention to anything I said.
I'd once said how down I'd been recently about it all (there had to be an inquest) and she said 'I thought you hadnt seemed yourself'. Surely if you have a friend that you see regularly, you would ask?

DS and I were walking to his school fair at the weekend, and he spotted her DD a few hundred yards down the path. He shouts to her, she is shouting his name, saying 'look mammy, theres X'. Friend ignores this till her DD starts going on and on pointing to my DS.
Friend half turns to us and flaps her hand slightly to my DS, and absolutley cuts me dead.
Then I find she's blocked and deleted me on FB.

I dont think Ive done anything wrong, and have no idea why she's being like this.

She invited me to her Ann Summers party a few weeks ago, which is on tonight, WIBU to turn up A) as if nothing has happened and see her reaction?
B) turn up and ask what the problem is?
C) just not bother going and accept that the friendship is over?

TBH, Im sort of relieved that I am away from her neediness and narcissism, but pissed off that she's dispensed with me without being enough of a grown up to tell me.
WWYD?

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/06/2012 14:08

c)

Dont give her the satisfaction of knowing you are bothered.

Sorry about your mum :(

I had a very close friend whom I thought was a good friend. Then my mum got ill and sadly died and she was no where to be seen......nowhere!!

I didnt confront her but I did stop being her friend, she has no idea why but she hasnt bothered asking.....she thinks it because she forgot my sons birthday. Yeah right love, I sat with my mum whilst she died and a week later you forget my sons birthday and I care about that!

Some people are so self involved they dont have a clue and I have decided I really dont need people like that in my life.

DanyTargaryen · 22/06/2012 14:11

I would totally go, just to sit there and make her feel awkward. It's nasty and quite childish to blank people when you decide you don't want to be friends any more, although I don't know what would be the right way to stop being friends with someone whist letting them know?

I'm making absolutely no sense at all. Sorry.

MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:12

Thanks Betty - how odd, I used to be BettySwollux on here!!
Sorry for your loss too xx

OP posts:
ThisIsAUsername · 22/06/2012 14:13

I think C too. Be the bigger person. She obviously, for whatever reason, does't want to be friends anymore. Knowing this and turning up at her door for a reaction is possibly being just as needy as you say she is. It'd embarrass you both. Sorry about your mum, too. x

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/06/2012 14:14

Thanks!!

Tis a good name....ah so you are the reason I had to have a crusty rack then! Grin

Cockwomble · 22/06/2012 14:16

C from me Bob. She isn't worth your time

MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:16

She's totally afraid of confrontation, we were once at a coffee shop and a woman walked past her DD with a chair and clonked her on the ear (owwwwww) Poor thing was screaming in pain, woman looked sadly at har DD and sat down - no apology. I was livid and about to ask her if she realised that she'd done this and would like to apologise.
Friend just put her haed down and averted her eyes. Hmm

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 22/06/2012 14:20

Don't play games. This friendship is clearly over so why would you go to the party? Plus, have you not noticed that it is an ANN SUMMER PARTY? I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a novelty penis chocolate dipped in mint lube than go to one.

ThisIsAUsername · 22/06/2012 14:21

So why would you want to confront her knowing that she won't say anything back? If you turn up at her door demanding to know why she won't be your friend anymore, you're going to look like a right demented fishwife.

Honestly, let it lie. Invest your time in other, more worthy friendships x

MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:27

I never intended demanding and being confrontational, just wondered if I should ask nicely, 'you seem to have a problem with me. Did I do something to upset you?' sort of thing.

OP posts:
MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:28

Plus, I fucking hate being blanked.
So rude!

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/06/2012 14:28

I wouldnt - she sounds like the sort of person who would flip it all around and make out its you.

Bottom line - she was not there for you at a time when you needed your friends like never before. So, why would you want someone like her in your life?

Cut out the deadwood!

MyChildrenHaveHorns · 22/06/2012 14:30

Fair do's Grin

OP posts:
ThisIsAUsername · 22/06/2012 14:31

I wouldn't do it on the night of her party though, that's a bit odd. The fact that she has deleted and blocked you from Facebook is proof enough that she doesn't want to speak to you.

It is bloody rude, but that should be just another reason to add to your list of why she has done you a favour.

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