AIBU to think that having a 10 month old in a sling is a bit dangerous?

[lolaflores]

My friend wears her baby she also has a ds aged 5 who is handful. Today we all walked back from school, baby head butting friend as was tired or hungry. Elder child drove at mum on scooter twice. Would I be a big old whinge pants to suggest that time for baby to go in the buggy? It scared the shit out of me. He is a big baby too and can wriggle out of the sling thing with ease. He doesn't look very comfortable either.
What would you do

I used a tomy carrier once with my first son. I felt like my back was breaking.

I've fallen twice with the sling - once with DS1 and once with DS2 - once on ice and once on a broken paving stone. Both times we were all fine as I had my hands free to break the fall.

I have fallen while carrying them both in my arms as well - with DS1 I slipped on the stairs and had to hold him up and fall flat on my back - I took most of the skin of my back and cut my arm (wooden stairs). With DS2 I was just walking across the room and DS1 ran into me and knocked me off balance. Once again I couldn't use my hands to save myself and I sort of crumpled sidways and DS2 and I bumped heads quite hard.

I also had one fall on one of the rare occasions I used a pram. Someone helped me down some stairs and tipped the pram too high. One of the straps hadn't snapped into place and DS1 went straight over the handlbars and I had to catch him by the ankle.

Out of all those scenarios, the ones with the best outcomes were the ones where I was using a sling.

Yeah I was reluctant to try slings because of the carrier experience. I started with a bubzilla but got it too small so got the babasling and even though I think I could get a better sling I'm loving the whole baby carrying! It attracts so much attEntion as well.

Takingiteasy definitely go and find that sling library - hopefully it has an experienced person running it - you won't be able to believe the difference!

A properly designed and worn sling by the way is as safe as you can get in a fall because you will instinctively put out your hands or try to fall in a way which causes least damage to you and if the baby is on your front they will get that protection too. On your back is slightly more precarious since you wouldn't instinctively save your back, but you're less likely to fall over on it anyway.

Of course there is a risk of accidents which would never have happened if you were using a pram but that goes the other way as well - prams can roll off kerbs or into walls or water. They can unbalance if a child is sitting funny (DS did this and ended up in the road with the pushchair on top of him - luckily not a busy road!) or if you've overloaded it. They can break - and while a sling can break, most proper slings will have at least two separate straps/buckles/pieces of material which hold the baby in place, so if one breaks then the other will hold them until you can get them down safely (which you'd likely notice straight away)

Christ almighty, you cannot even agree amongst yourselves. Left to it, you all bicker and moan about who's sling is the best, neck support, hip development who does what best. babaslings are useless. babybjorns are rubbish. leave you all to it and trot off with my judgey unreasonableness hugged close to me.

Er, are you reading the same thread. Universal agreement that babaslings are rubbish and that some of the other mainstream carriers aren't so great either.

It's like any product - some are better quality and more fit for purpose than others and people will be able to advise which is better based on experience.

No-one would bat an eyelid if peole were advising against a particular pram.

But I suspect this thread was posted just to cause a sling v buggy argument anyway.

It's called discussion dear, you might want to try it. Of course different items have relative merits, do you suppose some how that everything in the world is exactly the same and equal?

Good idea with the trotting off.

Oops. Just noticed that one person got a bit offended about one person's comments about BBs.

Yes. That is definitely an entire thread of bickering and moaning.

Not sure what you wanted from this thread. We weren't there, and on the whole slings are perfectly safe for 10 month olds. So if it was on correctly, YABU, if not, maybe she just needs more practice.

Slinged mine until he was about 12 months or so, and I'm a bit rubbish putting him on my back so I stopped when he was too heavy for front wearing, but I'll definitely do it again with a new baby. Not right for everyone, but a lot of fun if it works for you.

kungfupanda thats exactly what was missing in this thread was discussion. alot of preciousness. i really had no idea it was such a minefield. love that my friend has a sling and a great time with her baby in it. however felt there may be a downside to it when faced with a very unpredictable boy on a scooter. apparently there is no downside. and if you suspect there may be a downside you are told off for as much as even thinking it.
thinking such thoughts the last time I looked was permissable and a fair discussion of it was what I wanted. If you want to think I am here for a wheeze at your expense, well what does that say about your defensiveness on a topic. Perhaps the situation worried me more than the sling and I didn't get that across clearly enough? Or maybe it was mown down in the gallop to defend slings at all costs.

Interested so many people have had the same experience wtr to slings as my sister and I have had. We've both fallen seriously whilst carrying LO in the front position. My sister carries a hip problem years later.

Your centre of balance is buggared and you can't even see your feet.

What irks me somewhat is this is never talked about! So I'm pleased to have found this thread.

So many posters on MN advise slings and co-sleeping like a fix-all, no-risk solution and IMO there appears to be very little challenge/debate around this. BTW, I've done both, it's just I would never recommend them to others unless they had exhausted all other possibilities and only as a tempory fix until LO gets used to safer alternatives.

I have a scar from where I fell out of my buggy nearly 50 years ago. Dd fell out head first onto the pavement when the carrycot came away from the chassis. Ds' buggy collapsed (literally) as we were crossing the road.

I am still able to contemplate mothers taking dc around in prams and buggies without tut-tutting.

But as for the OP, I fail to see how a baby in a buggy could be kept very safe from this marauding 5yo. Surely he would just have driven into the buggy if he's jealous of the baby? And could have done a lot of harm that way.

Not offended as such panda just fucked off with the whole my sling is far superior to the carrier you have bullshit, slightly tired of seeing people say the BB is crap when clearly I don't agree considering I bought it whilst pregnant with dd & am still using 2 years later for ds-if I'd had a problem with it or thought it was shit I would have bought something different-more so considering mine came from ebay for just £15 so no great loss on the money front.

As for the issue of the kid on the scooter, surely it's easier to attempt to control him with baby in a sling rather than a pram?

People defended slings because of your suggestion that a 10 month old shouldn't be in one when the issue with the situation was something else entirely.

And yes, people often are defensive about this topic because, for some reason, the world and his dog has an opinion when you do something ever so slightly non-mainstream, and many people are sick of being constantly challenged for a perfectly valid choice of baby-transportation.

People on this thread have given various opinions, but mainly that slings are entirely suitable for older babies - beause that is their experience.

You started a thread, gave an opinion which the vast majority of people disagreed with. But somehow everyone else is defensive/precious/moany/mowing down arguments. Or perhaps they all just think you are wrong?

I am happy to be wrong Panda. But the up yourself smugness of the replies was astonishing. As barred said, there is more than a hint of superiority going on, not just amongst the non sling users but amongst you as well.

The situation looked dangerous and I thought the sling didn't help much. I am not in the constantly challenging group, but is it fair sometimes to ask whether there are cons to it too?

Stella - I'm not having a pop at you. For what its worth, I think some sling users are gratuitously offensive about BBs - some people get on very well with them.

However, in general, they don't suit people carrying older or heavier babies, and need to be used with care as people often have babies dangling out of them. the newer carriers are much better as they have a wider seat - clearly BB took on board the criticism about their older models.

The vast majority of regular sling users wouldn't recommend a BB or similar simply because, for most people's needs, there are many better carriers. DP, who knows nothing about slings, tried a BB once and refused to touch it again - he is still using the ergo now for our nearly 3 year-old.

But that's not to say the BB doesn't suit anyone or that it shouldn't be used if it does work out.

Where are the "up yourself smugness" responses? Can you give examples?

The only up yourself smugness I see is from the OP.

Although there are actual studies that demonstrate that the bb type slings are not particular good for babies, since they create pressure on the hips and spine of the baby which most soft carriers do not. If you want to take demonstrated facts personally and get all whiny about it, thats up to you, but its doesn't make much difference. And if you like it, why would you care what anyone else thinks?

The only up yourself smugness I see is from the OP.

Although there are actual studies that demonstrate that the bb type slings are not particular good for babies, since they create pressure on the hips and spine of the baby which most soft carriers do not. If you want to take demonstrated facts personally and get all whiny about it, thats up to you, but its doesn't make much difference. And if you like it, why would you care what anyone else thinks?

"you won't be able to believe the difference" was one comment. a bit smug no?

I thought it was a reasonable point. Sorry if it offends, really, so sorry if it offended. Had no idea it was this hot a topic. Which makes me wonder why you all feel so offended to boot. It is a choice, but is no one allowed to comment?

Why is it smug? One is a badly designed device (designed for men actually, I think - dads seem to find them comfortable enough) which hangs all the weight off your shoulders and the baby's crotch, and another will hold them supported in a sitting position and distribute their weight so that it doesn't hang off your shoulders but is spread across your hips and thighs, the strongest part of your body.

I don't see how that's smug, it's just stating a fact. It would be like if you walked around all day in high heels which were half a size too big and then someone introduced you to a pair of properly fitting comfortable flats, you probably wouldn't believe the difference then either.

Methinks you are the one who is getting offended...

I still very very occasionally have DD2 in a ring sling, she is 17mths, never for long now as she cuts the circulation off in my arm! Thankfully she walks well now and the buggy is brilliant.

At 10mths its fine, besides its the mother's choice.

I couldn't believe the difference when I tried a BB and then a wrap. Not smug. Just fact.