to get wound up about photos

[Oppsididitagain]

i dont know why im bugged by this all i know is it really bothers me,ive not said a word yet just wanted to ask advice/opinuns

ds2's grandmother is verysnap happy in half an hour of her company it wouldnt be unusual for about 30 photos to be taken of ds2 i have no issue with this but after shes taken these photos she puts them all up on facebook. her settings are open so all and sundrey can see them.she also has a photo of my son as her profile picture

ive never so much as even put one image of my dc onto the internet not even a scan photo its something ive never been comfortable with i know people do and if they want to with photos of there children then thats a matter for them and nothing to do with me but i personally choose not to share images of my children.

its possible that my view is clouded by me previously being a model both as a child and as a adult and not having much choice in it as a child,or perhaps by knowing that an image with no copyright once uploaded becomes public and effectivly property of facebook.

or mabey its just because i dont want images of my child being availible to everybody in the world for any purpose that they wish to use it for.

i want to ask her to stop it but im not sure if im being unreasonable

It really is good manners to ask if it's alright to put someone's photo onto fb... especially a child. Could you broach the subject of privacy settings as an introduction to how uncomfortable it makes you feel? She may not have even considered it.

I have a relative who does this, I'm sick of having to say "don't put them on facebook though will you?"

Last time I said this, she took the hump and didn't take any pictures at all

Could you maybe compromise by asking her to make her settings more private so that only friends can see them?

I'm the worst person for posting pictures of my son on FB so can't really understand why you're so bothered, but clearly you are unhappy & something needs to change.

Personally think it odd she hasn't checked. I don't allow people and nor do I put pictures of my children in fb for all the reasons you mentioned-basically it makes me uncomfortable rightly or wrongly. I think she should have checked but I don't think I are being unreasonable to ask her to stop posting them.

Don't think you can moan about how many photos she takes. But yanbu about fb, at the minimum you should talk to her about the settings

Yanbu sorry for typos am in phone

She might now know how to make her setting private. My Mom didn't know and hers was wide open. My sister made the setting more private for her when she was visiting, and since then I made it so only her friends can see the pictures, cause thats who she's wanting to show them too isn't it?

i expect i could and probally will but its not just the privacy settings that bug me its that there uploaded in the first place.im unsure if i trust facebooks privacy policy and know that once they have them they have them forever.even if the policy is stuck to then the profile pic is always going to be public iykwim?

im also compleatly unsure how to broach it other than using the privacy settings as a starting point,im happy for her to take as many photos as she wishes its just the publication of them in anyway that upsets me.

shes a nice lady and i dont want to hurt her feelings

I have a friend who does this with DD. Not everyone gets that putting a picture on FB is not everyone else's decision. Some people seem to post the minutiae of their lives and pictures of everyone/thing. I want DD to choose what she wants her online profile to be when she's 35.

It's nice that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but she hasn't exactly bothered to consider yours has she?

You need to tell her to stop putting pictures on Facebook and to remove the ones she has already put on there. You can do this nicely, it shouldn't have to cause any bad feeling. And if it does, then that won't be down to you if you are tactful.

You don't have to justify to her why you don't want pictures of your child all over the Internet, that is a descison for you to make and you are not obliged to consider anone else in that.

TBH I think you are going to have to work out why it bothers you and explain it to her, otherwise she just isn't going to get it and will think you are being unreasonable. Which, unless you have a reason, I guess by definition you are

I wouldn't be too happy of someone plastered photos of my DD on lampposts so I'm not too happy about them doing the same with the internet. That's my reason and years working with Social Services.

i think its a combo of several things that winds me up.

i wouldnt knock on a compleate strangers door and give them a photo of my child,i wouldnt show precious family albums to people i didnt know and i most certainly wouldnt give photos to anybody who may just like to use the net to seek out pictures of other peoples childrens for reasons unknown.

i also once had a photo of myself togather with my nan and eldest child end up on a poster advertising a organisation that i compleatly disrespect think there methods of operating and that they do it dressed as batman are offensive and certainly wouldnt have consented to to the image being used for that reason,this poster ended up on nearly every social services office probation office and other such locations i was mortifyed as was my daughter when she had it brought to her attention some years later. the image was a normal family photo that was used without anybodys consent nobody even asked it was just clicked over then used.

its just something i am really uncomfortable with i understand she would never knowingly do anything like that with an image but once its there its out there for anybody to do anything with iykwim