AIBU to be dreading afterschool today?

[fishandlilacs]

My dd has a little friend from her class coming to play and tea, this little girls mum is a lovely lovely woman and has been incredibly generous and kind to me but I find her daughter a bit of struggle.

I think i'm being a tad unfair because it's not that shes not a pleasant little girl it's just that they are used to the finer things in life-her daughter (age 4) will say things like "why haven't you got a trampoline? we have a trampoline and a water slide" "Why has DD only got 2 barbies-I have 6 in my house and a house house" "I don't like that orange squash" (ie it's aldi rather than robinsons) "hasn't DD got a telly in her room? I have a wii and a playstation in my room"

I just dont know how to deal with the questions and boastfulness-shes only 4 afterall.

DS's friend is quite boastful in a completely unmalicious but tiresome way and I do the "that's nice, run along" thing and as others have said he still likes coming here and I like to feel we offer other, unmaterial things.

He told me again the other day that he's been on a plane 20 times or somesuch and I couldn't resist saying "oh that's nice DF, DS went on a bus the other day, didn't you DS". DF's mum doesn't do public transport.

Yes, sort of valiumredhead. One difficulty is in explaining to a 4 year old what might be rude. You get the 'But it's true!' which is sort of a conversation stopper.

It's tiresome! thats the perfect word for it-I'm dreading it because it's just going to make me sigh!

I suppose some children notice things more than others as well. I have been guilty of asking DSs about the houses they have visited and they haven't really noticed anything about them.

You know Fish there is a chance we won't mention a thing.

:)

i think most of this is also a difference in personality from the kids. My 7yo DS1 is very very forward with people he doesnt know well. He gets told off a lot for it, but still persists in saying things that many people would think was rude or arsey or whatever.
BUT he has a pal who I think is a precocious pita, yet his parents (and many others) think he's hilarious and a lot of fun.
Theyre all finding their feet when they're young, and gentle guidance from adults will ultimately help a little. But no, dont start a life lesson about some people have more money than others - thatll make your lack of crap stuff even more of a focus.

I think it is a fair reply (and I may have used it)

*she won't mention a thing even.

I get a bit unnerved when very confident children come round and start speaking to me.

My goodness. If this is the only faults you can find in your DDs friends you're so lucky! Try having someone who comes home and trashes the place.

DD2 is 3 and had the first little friend round yesterday. She is about a year older than DD2. It went quite well, they played nicely together and it helped that they could be outside in the garden. But I am always worried that kids seem to hardly eat (other than cakes and biscuits if I offer them!) if they come round.

This little girl refused orange juice (the wrong type), peas or sweetcorn with her tea (I tend to think these are most child friendly veg) jacket potato (done in the oven, very nice) and just ate sausages and ketchup. I did some salmon as well on the BBQ which she didn't have, but fair enough even a lot of adults don't like fish...She didn't like any of the dessert options - home made ice lollies, strawberry ice cream or blueberries & yogurt.

Now I realise why other parents say of my kids when they have been round for tea "She ate EVERYTHING, she is such a good eater!"

I'd just go with the 'Wonderful, now go and play' option. The child will soon tire of trying to boast if she gets the same, bland reply each time

Thats nothing I am awaiting the arrival of 10 under 5s (weeps quietly)

Oh dear, kerala. Think strong thoughts!

I think the idea of distraction is a good one. Try and do something a bit different rather than letting them just play. Even if its cutting up the argos and gluing or making/buying fairy cakes and decorating them. Having a teddy bears picnic in the garden or the local park.

Your DDs friend will think she has the best house ever because she's had so much fun doing things she doesn't do at home.

Funnily enough, dsis has always had a nicer house than me and DN has never made any comment. We have not long moved into a lovely house which is much nicer than the last shithole one. DN informed me last time he was here, that my kitchen is much smaller than his :o

I find those kind of children hard to have back home and they seem to find it difficult to entertain themselves or use their imagination in play.

I remember DS2 had a friend like that, he came here and complained he was bored because there were "no good toys" I was rather and a bit embarrassed, especially as we have lots of toys due to having 5 DC so it's not as though the house is bare of things to do. Anyhow, he ended up having a grand time making a car out of a cardboard box in the end but it was touch and go for a while. Fortunately DS outgrew that friendship and we've not had a friend like that for a while.

Now however we are plagued with a friend of his who claims to be the world's expert on everything (and usually has his facts wrong to boot) so spends all his time here reciting his (incorrect ) "facts".....kids eh?!!

How did it go fish?

Yes, how did it go?!

My daughter had a friend round a few times who is very spoilt materially - she didn't boast but she did start bringing a bag of her own toys 'in case she got bored'!! I thought it was hilarious!!

It was lovely actually-there were a few questions of that type-mainly about vegetables in the pasta bake.
They spent most of the time outside having a water fight with a plastic storage box full of water and two £1 shop water pistols and plastic bowls. They came in dried off and did some colouring in. It was cute!

Phew. You could even do it again.

indeedy. Thanks for the advice xx

This is the 5th time shes been round-I guess shes now used to the things we have...or have not.