To think if your going to have a dig at someone you should get your facts right first? RANT alert!

[youarekidding]

So at my DM and Ddads at the weekend.

As we're leaving Mum says to DS 'Don't forget you must get mummy to listen to you read tonight'.

Me: he reads everyday

Mum: That's not what he said - he said your always too busy.

I said nothing, we were in the hall getting our shoes on and said quietly to DS - you must stop telling lies, you know the consequence so there's no computer tonight.

My mum then started telling me off for ruining the afternoon.

1. DS has been telling silly lies lately and he has to know it's wrong - especially when they hint at neglect!
2. I said it quietly and DS accepted he was wrong and admitted telling her I was always too busy doing washing and ironing. (which I do when he's in bed)
3. and this is the AIBU bit. She was the one who decided to make a comment in front of family and friends without knowing the truth.

So AIBU to think she didn't need to say anything then and if she thought it was a problem ringing me to discuss it would have been much better?

DS actually came home today having not changed his book and when questioned why it's because the teacher has heard him read information books really well and wants to him him read his fiction book as she thinks he can go onto library level. So my reading a variety of texts at home with him is paying off. and I'm fighting the urge to ring mum and tell her!

You should have waited until you left to dish out consequences (your ds is old enough and understanding enough to accept "i was really disappointed at nannies to hear you lie, xyz), she should keep her opinions on your parenting to strictly between you and her in private discussion. Yabothbu.

you should tell your mum some of the things he says about her and watch her squirm. can't believe there isn't something.

Why isn't your own mother supporting your parenting rather than undermining?

I think you should talk to her properly and say that when she Questions your parenting in front of your DS it is belittling him and not helping your raise him the way you want to.

I don't think you were wrong to talk to DS while there, as young ones often forget the issue by the time you've gotten back home.

You need to show a united front to your DS. The worst that could happen is that he thinks that he can play people off against each other.

All childen go through a lying stage, your mum should know that.

I would tackle her over making passive aggressive comments and the way that she communicates with you and him.

I didn't hear the tone in which she said the first comment, but I wouldn't have read too much meaning in. She could have meant "because you read so well, mummy would like to hear it" or "then mummy will see you've gone up a level" or something positive.

I've had a teacher say to me "make sure you read tonight/look in their book bag/check the communication book" meaning, "there's something good in there that it would be nice if you found out yourself and reacted accordingly" and I've always appreciated that little heads up.

You were immediately defensive, so I assume there's history here though.

I wouldn't visit or contact for a while and when she asks whats wrong tell her straight...

Ugh! I feel for you! My mum and dad are exactly the same. I think it's just a grandparent thing. It's annoying as it is undermining your parenting and when my parents say silly things like that to me , it makes me feel powerless, like they are suggesting they are better parents. Then I try and think 'Let em get on with it' You know what a great Mum you are! Let them comment away!

Ugh! I feel for you! My mum and dad are exactly the same. I think it's just a grandparent thing. It's annoying as it is undermining your parenting and when my parents say silly things like that to me , it makes me feel powerless, like they are suggesting they are better parents. Then I try and think 'Let em get on with it' You know what a great Mum you are! Let them comment away!

It was said in a PA tone which is why I knew what she meant. And also why I simply said 'he reads everyday'. I didn't mention to whom or what etc to judge her response.

My DS is currently having precision teaching for reading, plus phonics support and a confidence building group (a bit like emotional literacy) because in the teachers words 'he's a very intelligent child, very shrewd, but he knows his reading and writing are not to the standard that his brain works at'. So there is a risk of reactive behaviours to this - e.g self confidence etc.

DS has also just started the violin as the oppotunity came up and I'm hoping using his fine motor skills and having to read music will help develop these skills. I listen to him practice everynight too - my poor ears.

You sound a great mum so ignore her, with respect your mom is being a silly old bat.