To be so terrified of going to work today I could cry?

[Monica2012]

Once each month we have a thing where each member of staff goes to meet any new temp recruits because we have them often. About 50 people turn up and everyone stands in a circle and say their name and their position in the company. I know it doesn't sound much, but I am absolutely shitting it. It used to be where u could choose to go, and no one in my dept on my level did go, but some wally higher up, from a different dept made it so one of my dept has to go. I had tears in the back of my eyes when I was told it was my turn. I know it's stupid, but being in large groups and public speaking strikes the fear of god into me. I tried begging my line manager to not make me go, but she said I'll be fine. I just can't do it, and now as I'm on my way to work I feel sick at the thought. My only option is to text line manager who's morning it is off and ask her again if it's ok not to go, I've got plenty of work to be getting on with if I didn't go, or ask the departmental manager if it's ok if I don't go when she gets in, or just suck it up and go and feel ill til it's time to go. I know people say things aren't so bad when u just try them, but ive been to these things before and it's always hellish.

If there any 49 other people doing it, then nobody wil notice you. You obviously have stage fright. Try some Kalms, or just imagine it being over, but bite the bullet.

I sympathise, as it sounds so daft, and I would hate to do it, but you will be fine, just say your name, say your job title and you are done. Nobody will judge you, you cant go wrong if that is all you have to say, and it is Monday morning, most people will be in their own little world and paying no attention to it anyway.. :)

Also, I've been a temp loads of times and it's a lot more scary for them being the new person every few weeks!

I used to be just the same, honestly. Standing up in front of colleagues terrified me. It was only when I realised that NONE of them were even listening properly that I calmed down. Try thinking about inane things like what you're going to have for tea while they're going round the circle. I think the trick is to end the dialogue in your head that is constantly repeating "this is going to be awful" and instead replace it with "this has to be done and then I will..." Good luck; it will only be as bad as you make it (IFSWIM). :)

It sounds like you are lacking in confidence, and its making you blow this out of all proportion. It will literally be 10 seconds of speaking, you'll be absolutely fine, and as other posters say, the temps will be far more nervous than you.

Thanks for your kind replies. Was going to tell the dept manager I couldn't do it, but will go and give it a try, still got my stomach in knots though!

I have to have half my teeth out today and I'm bricking it. DP has taken the day off work to make sure I go look after me. I'll think of you if you think of me. It'll all be over by teatime

Public speaking is a skill you can learn, including managing anxiety. Once today is over, ask your employers if you can have some confidence/public speaking training.

ive been to these things before and it's always hellish

Can you say why it's been hellish? Has something bad actually happened at one of these things before or is it just the horrible anxiety you have felt that has made it hellish? Sometimes naming our fears can help.

I completely understand. I also have a terror of public speaking and of interviews/courses where they make you role play or talk about yourself in front of a group of people. I start overthinking and then I find I just go blank. I feel so self conscious that all I can think about is the people watching me and I imagine they are finding me stupid or immature [it makes me feel like a small silly child]. Then I find I can't think straight and every pause feels like a lifetime and I can't think of what I want/need to say...

But I find breathing helps, really concentrate on breathing in deeply and then out. Indeed if you make your out breath longer than your in breath you actually stimulate your autonomic nervous system which counteracts the sympathetic nervous system. And the sympathetic is what gives you the adrenaline rush - the jitters, the cold dread, the rise in blood pressure, the blank mind. It's the flight or fight syndrome and this type of deep slow breathing can be very helpful and give you something to concentrate on as you wait your turn to speak.

And I also find remembering that other people are nervous about this as well [see responses above!] and that they are probably mostly too busy worrying about how they are coming across and whether they are looking stupid to even give what you say a moments thought.

And I guarantee that the new recruit will be feeling the most gauche and ignorant person in the room [with a big spotlight hanging over them] and will probably be looking on you with awe and respect!

saying your name and your job is hardly public speaking. You need to just get on with it or you will look very bad to your employers.

What helps me is to admit that I'm shy or embarrased right away...people like it! It makes THEM feel better. I would just say "Ooh I don't like public speaking but I'll have a go....I'm Monica and I work in X department...right...your go!"

I promise that people will titter politely as they will be nervous too.

joan for some people even speaking ONE word to a group is a terrible though. SOMe people blush, stammer, get hot flushes...all kinds....it's hard for some and not for others.

What a bloody stupid idea - how embarrassing for the poor temp and as if he/she is going to remember 50 names thrown at her in one go

I bring a circle with me into scary situations. You prepare it earlier, think of a circle about the size of a hula hoop (not the crisp) and think how it looks (mine is purple and glittery) and then think about the calmest/happiest/most confident feelings you can and sort of associate them with the circle. Then in the scary situation, think 'I am not going to step into my circle' and do it. Nothing can touch you in that circle.
I am fully aware of how insane this sounds but it has got me through several interviews and speaking publicly to large groups! Not sure where I heard of it - Paul Mckenna maybe.
Good luck. Things like this get easier with the doing, not the avoiding. As others have said, chances are no one will really listen to anyone else anyway.

Definitely DONT text your manager on her morning off, she would be furious at being disturbed when she already said you had to do it!

I do hope it goes ok though.

I think you should go ahead and do it.....it is easy to say don't worry too much but it sounds as though you have built it up in your head as a huge ordeal.
You are scared of what may happen especially as you have had bad experiences in the past (was it really so 'hellish' though or maybe just rather unpleasant and embarrassing? Don't deny your fear but try to keep it in proportion)

When I am facing a scary situation the worst thing is the uncertainty, not knowing how the situation is going to unfold & feeling it is out of my control. I find it helps to have a plan of action of my own....so whatever I am faced with, I know at least what I have to do. You may find it helpful to work out exactly what you are going to say, have a script & write it out verbatim if necessary. You should find it reassuring to know that you have something to say & don't have to fear your mind going blank.

You can do it Monica and once you have, think how relieved you'll feel. Imagine us all lurking outside cheering you on holding up pom poms in rah rah skirts Get in there and just go for it. You can do it! I promise.

Did it go ok?

hope it went ok, I would feel exactly the same as you

i bet you feel a million times better and more confident having done it? if you did it?

and i bet your dept manager was impressed too

you could start a list of daily achievements for a week then see how far you can go, this being top of your list?

I hope it went OK, please let us know.

Make sure you give yourself a big pat on the back! Don't be too self critical, the main thing is to do these things and realise what you can cope with, and enjoy the confidence boost it should give you. Onward and upward!