To think that my friend is being a bit funny?

[showtunesgirl]

My friend who has been single for as long as I've known her, and that's been about ten years, keeps trying to give me relationship and parenting advice.

The latest being that today is Father's Day and to "celebrate" I let my DH have a well deserved lie in whilst I got on with our 6 m/o DD. She heard about this on FB and messaged me to say that this was a bit harsh and didn't I get anything for Mother's Day and that boys have feelings and I should have got DH something. The thing is, getting a card and then saying it's from our DD really isn't our sort of thing and DH himself has said that he finds that kind of thing a bit twee. DH really did appreciate the lie in though! And no, I didn't get anything for Mother's Day.

Also whenever I see this friend, she does things like grab the pram as we're crossing the road and whilst I was pg she text me health advice etc on what I should be doing. She knows me well enough to know that I would have done all that kind of research myself.

Now I love her to bits but AIBU to think that she's overstepping the mark a bit?

From what you say it sounds like YANBU. Really nosy of her to message you after reading something on facebook. If one of my friends was being like that I'd probably just ignore rather than confront, but then I don't have many v close friends. If you're really close to her then maybe say something next time.

Just name changed but tis OP here.

The problem is that I am biting my tongue as she's the kind of person who if I told her she was getting on my tits, she'd be so offended that she wouldn't speak to me.

Another example is that DD doesn't like being held like a baby and lies to be upright. I told her that last time she held her and she snapped at me that SHE was holding her. Er....

She's all theory

Maybe a 'thanks, but WE are happy with this' and a 'that is MY baby you are holding' wouldn't go amiss!

Well I did message her back to say, it's not our style!

I'd just distance myself from her a bit. Might do you both some good.

she sounds a bit erm weird and posessive (spelling) of you glad you just sent her a its not our thing reply I would take a guess she would be quite dramatic if you told her to eff off ,

The problem is that for some reasons he has put DD on a pedestal. The first time I saw her after having DD, she said to: Isn't motherhood all that you dreamed of and hasn't it fulfilled you?

Erm... I wasn't quite sure what to say as it was quite obvious what I was supposed to say!

THats weird sorry it just is , who says that

Mrsjay, you have it in one there.

Also DD recently went through a very natural baby phase where she was scared of being held by others and my friend was a bit offended.

she is probably just over involved in your life and not a loon still very weird behaviour

So you have to bite your tongue because her feelings are more important than yours? So it's ok for her to say what she wants and you will just take it, because she'll stop speaking to you otherwise?

if she only thought and cared half as much about your feelings as you do about hers, it would be a great friendship.

Or perhaps since you've never told her how you feel, she thinks she's being helpful, supportive and nice and you appreciate her constant guidance.

Tell her how you feel. it's either that or look forward to a lifetime of biting your tongue while she acts like she knows everything there is to know about everything, including knowing your child and husband better than you do and bombarding you with her 'advice' which over time somehow starts to become orders!

i'm right though

Haha Hecate. She JUST apologised for being a bit much.

I just bite my tongue sometimes as I know she's a bit lonely and has kind of over-idealised what a relationship / family is like.

she sounds really literal
is she possibly a bit autisticcy ??

Bumdrop? Austisticcy? Based on what op has said you are saying she might have autism? Please do some research before you offer such helpful advice.

Oh god yep have a new mum friend like that whose DS us 6 weeks older than my son.

'don't put him on the grace baby swing he will get his brain all shook up'.....yup because graco obviously are lunatics. She was rocking her baby to sleep last night in desperation - I had to bite my Tongue because her DS just wasn't sleeping

• 'dont overfeed him' just as I start feeding him after 4 hours :s....her son is way chubbier than my chubby chops

I also can't get a word in edge ways with her so I can never retaliate

It annoys me so much but at least mine is new and she can be dropped!!!

She probably thinks she is sharing helpful information with you that she thinks you would like. Just a bit clumsily.

I have on occasions looked at her when she's tried to tell me some info and she's gone: of course, you already know that.

And erm, I have no idea where autism would come in on this one? As I said before, I just think she's a bit lonely.

Yes lonely she may be, but YANNNNNNBU; she has to back off and quite frankly, try to live her own life a bit more. She may be jealous and whatever too.
Even if you do love her to bits, a bit of distance may help.
Some people are unable to offer advice without it seeming patronising, rude or interfering. Bless her.