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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect three items of clothing to be washed when DC's with ex?

26 replies

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 18:40

Omg think I'm going to explode I am so angry. Ex knobhead normally makes the kids drop their uniforms off at my house on his way to his on the weekends he has them (he lives with his g/f in her house with a washing machine - she is totally in control of him, hates me - whole other story - and her daughter so presumably they wash her uniform). DD went elsewhere after school and was collected later so had to take her uniform with her, DS's was left here for me to wash .

DD asked him to wash it but he said no we've already done our dark wash this weekend and has sent her back with it still dirty (she is 13 but wouldn't be allowed to use the washing machine).

How pathetic is he? Why the hell shouldn't he wash them anyway - ARGH!! .

Obv today they went out for a big lunch to celebrate what a great father he is . I sent the kids with cards and presses for him and he did jack shit for me on Mothers Day.

OP posts:

fishface2 · 17/06/2012 18:46

Yanbu at all but well done for sending the gifts , you're being the bigger and better person.

halcyondays · 17/06/2012 18:48

Yanbu

mynewpassion · 17/06/2012 19:13

If they already did their laundry already, then its a waste of water to wash 3 pieces of clothing. If they hadn't done laundry, YANBU.

Noqontrol · 17/06/2012 19:15

Couldn't he have washed it in the sink and spun it out? I would have done if there was only a few bits. YANBU

enimmead · 17/06/2012 19:16

I think if DD asked him to wash it, then he should really do it. It's obviously important to her and TBH, a quick wash takes no effort.

But it does seem unreasonable to drop off washing on the way back to his house. That is taking the piss.

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 19:16

So DD has a filthy uniform so as to save water? What about hygiene?

It's now the machine on its own as I too have done my laundry .

OP posts:

enimmead · 17/06/2012 19:20

How many uniforms has DD got? Did it need washing for Monday?

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 19:21

Yes even when I'm going away for the weekend he drops it off so it's waiting for me in my return

OP posts:

enimmead · 17/06/2012 19:21

I speak as someone with a 6 yr old DS who seems to go through a white top daily. As well as trousers.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 17/06/2012 19:22

wow, you have finished your washing? does that mean that i will eventually get to the end of the washing in oh about10 years?

Sassybeast · 17/06/2012 19:22

YANBU. it's just not worth the battle though - when mine were allowed to stay overnight, they came home with bags of dirty washing. Eventually he 'agreed' to wash clothes - after the first weekend, he put everything in the tumble drier on high and wrecked the lot. I gave up.

enimmead · 17/06/2012 19:23

Does he still think you're the children's washmaid?

I think you need words. Good luck :)

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 17/06/2012 19:23

shame he does not know we are all pointing and laugiing at his inadequacies...

oh well. dd will be sussing him out. still bloody annoying though.

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 19:25

She has two but her other trousers have a big hole in them and she has one jumper (had 3 brand new uniforms to buy so budget only allowed one).

OP posts:

ApocalypseThen · 17/06/2012 19:29

What household with two adults and one child has one dark wash a weekend? I certainly don't buy that excuse - unless they all stink.

madmomma · 17/06/2012 19:40

of course YANBU. But try and just accept that he's a dick. It's hard I know, but don't waste your energy trying to get him to change, even a little bit. It doesn't work and will just wind you up. (speaking from experience)

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 19:44

No it's a load of bollocks I even texted him first thing this morning and asked him to make sure it was washed.

He refuses to communicate with me and will do anything to make my life difficult :(

OP posts:

samithesausage · 17/06/2012 20:30

Yanbu. If the dark wash had already been done and it really bothered them to do another wash, then they should of hand washed and spun. Or an Eco-half-load-fast wash would of done it as well if they have a fancy pants washing machine.
Its not really rocket science, but it sounds like someone couldn't be bothered.

curiositykitten · 17/06/2012 20:33

YANBU. My ex sends the kids clothes back dirty too. He's gonna have a shock in the summer when he has them for a week and I only send them with two changes!

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 20:37

I always send my DSC's home with clean clothes - machine is always on here so it's no bother - can't understand why he always needs to be such an arse .

OP posts:

Softlysoftly · 17/06/2012 20:44

I think he should use all the money he's saved on washing over the year and buy her another jumper.

Leave the bastard, oh hang on...

LapsedPacifist · 17/06/2012 20:45

YANBU. But it's an all too familiar story .

Ex-DP would never ever wash any of DS's clothes, including his uniform, even though he always stayed over one school-day per week, as well as alternate weekends. He would never wash any of his clothes out when they went on holiday either, but would insist DS only needed to bring 1 change of clothes for a 7 day holiday because he couldn't be bothered to help carry his luggage. DS used to come home absolutely minging.

Worst of all was when I realised to my hrror that the filthy skank useless man hadn't changed DS's bed for at least 3 years . I actually had to buy another set of bedding myself and give it to him!

Well done for being the bigger person with the cards and gifts for Father's day though. I have ALWAYS maintained the moral high ground re. presents - it reaps dividends in the end because these horrible people are usually only too quick to guilt-trip our kids over any perceived lapses on our part. Your children will work out the truth for themselves by the time they are adults.

DS is 15 now and knows how to use the washing machine. He doesn't even bother asking when he stays, just puts on a load for himself. Ex has no objections to him using the machine, he was just too frigging bone idle to do it.

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 20:48

3 years

OP posts:

Original poster

sensuallettuce · 17/06/2012 20:48

Quite softlysoftly

OP posts:

LapsedPacifist · 17/06/2012 20:51

Yes! I only realised when I had to stay over and sleep in the bed myself during a domestic crisis.The bed hadn't been changed since I'd left with DS, 3 years previously.

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