...to ask DH for a few days apart?

[wifey6]

I probably am...but really need some space. Suffered a missed MC nearly 8 weeks ago..devastated- DH wasn't very supportive & although his actions upset me- I knew h was grieving too. We improved & began talking about our baby & getting on better for our DS. We've been living seperation lives since I found out I was pregnant last time...if not after our DS was born -nearly 2 years ago. We don't go out much as a family or just as a couple.
Today he was so awful & made me feel really down...although making a big effort for Fathers Day...although he was hideous on Mothers Day.
So while he was out I messaged to ask him if he could stay with a family member as I feel we need space...so he has.
I'm not upset, worried...anything. As he isn't here much physically or emotionall anyway.
AIBU to ask for my space..or should I of fought it out with him tonight?

I don't think YABU to want space and I don't think you should 'fight it out' with him but I do wonder why you asked him to stay with a family member when it's you who wants space.

Is that really fair?

I think that you will both have much needed thinking space.

Yours and his reaction to him not coming home, is food for thought, tbh.

It will probably either be that you realise that you want to make this work, or it is actually over.

Sorry to hear the sad news about your miscarriage:(

I don't think this is really the best time to make decisions about your marriage though.The fact that you aren't feeling anything would make me think that you're depressed (in a clinical way,not just pissed off/annoyed).It might be worth a visit to your gp?

I know...I thought about going myself but my DS is nearly 2 & none of my family have sufficient space for us both..which is a shame as ideally we should of gone & DH say at home. I guess selfishly I thought as he is just one person it would be easier than us going.

Hilda...I am considering going to see my GP...as that had crossed my mind. I am seeing a bereavement counsellor.

Worra, if her husband is behaving hideously, then he should be the one to go. Why should their child leave his home?

Birds...that's what I'm hoping. Get my head a bit straighter & see if things are worth working through..as right now..I really don't know.

Imperial I didn't say at any point the child should go anywhere.

I said is it fair that if the OP wants some time apart, her DH should be the one to leave his home.

I did try to find somewhere to go..but no one had space for us both

Sorry OP, I didn't automatically assume your DS would be staying with you.

I suppose it makes sense if he is and there's no room anywhere else.

Your DP's reaction shows that he was willing to go (to make things easier), it is better for your little boy to not be up heaved whilst you both think this through and you could may be have an appoitment at the GP?

This cannot be pleasant for any of you.

The last thing we want is to disrupt our DS & at the same time not be grumpy parents. I will make an appointment whilst at the doctors for DS tomorrow I think for myself.

Sorry about your miscarriage.
If there are problems in your marriage (which go back a way, according to your post) and your DH isn't very supportive, do you think you should maybe go to Relate or somewhere similar to help clarify your thinking, before you have another child?

And maybe ask MNHQ to move this to Relationships?
It can be a little harsh on AIBU...

Nanny...thank you. DH won't go to any relate or counselling. We are doing better so planned our baby..but when I got pregnant he changed again.

And since we lost our baby...he has been even more distant but put that down to grief. But I'm hurting too yet still having to pick up the pieces..make sure he & our DS are ok & keep everything together. I know that's what a wife & mummy does..but I guess I just need someone to be there for me for a change.

In a partnership/marriage both parties are supposed to be there for each other.

Make the appointment you've mentioned and see if you can get some counselling for yourself even if your DH refuses. It may help you to clarify things in your own mind, as to what you want.