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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not have bought the bloody cocktail dress?

50 replies

mixedberrymilkshake · 17/06/2012 14:39

Family wedding soon, and at the risk of sounding a bit snide- it won't be the classiest of affairs. I have lots of nice shift and cocktail dresses from my time at uni so when it comes to choosing an outfit I could have easily chosen something from my wardrobe.

Currently back home with my parents in between starting a grad job and sorting out a place to rent- but even though I have a promising job offer and a degree and have been living on my own for five years- she still thinks I'm a child.

Turns out none of my dresses were nice enough so DM wants to put some money towards a nice dress. So off we went including DF to the local shopping centre and were browsing a nice dress shop. I tried on a dress I liked, something quite plain and versatile but she refused to put any money towards it because it wasn't 'weddingy enough' on my own it was out of my price range so I put it back...she then made me try on a dress that screamed BRIDESMAID, chiffony and glorious and completely stunning- but I thought it was too much money and said I'd think about it, especially as I'd only wear it once.

She was royally pissed off when I told the shop assistant that I'd think about it, and when I said even half the dress, though within my price range was a lot of money to wear to one event.

I eventually ended up in topshop where I found a lovely dress as part of their 'dress up' range that I could order a fresh flower for my hair and buy some classy shoes to make it weddingy as well as wear it out with the girls.

Oh god, you hadn't seen anything like it. You thought I would have presented her with a Jane Norman sequin minidress- when it's a classy blue peplum dress to the knee. When I commented that it was more in my price range, she told me it looked it ;( cue an uncomfortable shopping trip where she kept on being rude to me about how vile it was and how stingy I am.

To be honest- the dress she wanted me to buy was probably nicer than what the bridesmaids are having. It's also a registry office and football club affair so there is no need for done up to the nines.

She is still being a complete prick about me not getting the first dress, how it's unclassy, cheap, for a nightclub not a wedding and has even started on my weight saying that I needed sleek slimming chiffon not a bodycon dress that makes my arse look huge

Now I know I'm a grown woman and this is so trivial- but her constant digs at me are getting me down. Should I have just accepted the £100 she was putting towards the cocktail dress and gone with what she wanted or was I right to stand my ground.

On the point of wobbling to go back and change it of she continues being vile.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 17/06/2012 14:41

Wear what you like and feel comfortable in.

Bunbaker · 17/06/2012 14:42

"It's also a registry office and football club affair so there is no need for done up to the nines."

I'm sorry, but you are coming across as being a tad too superior and up your own backside. I went to wedding reception at a football club and it was a very smart do indeed,

cocolepew · 17/06/2012 14:42

Wear what you like. It sounds like shes trying for one upmanship with the relations.

Magneto · 17/06/2012 14:43

You are an adult and can wear what you like. Tell her to bugger off. Or insist she wears a dress of your choosing to the wedding as a compromise, see how she likes that. Wink

ChaoticismyLife · 17/06/2012 14:43

Do not go back and get that dress or the next time you disagree she'll be vile again until you back down.

I think you need to move out as soon as possible so you can start establishing a more adult relationship with your DM.

Thankgodforcaffeine · 17/06/2012 14:44

Stick to your guns, you did the right thing.

Rabid · 17/06/2012 14:44

link!

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 14:46

Sorry, why do you give a fuck about what anyone else thinks of your choice of clothing? Confused

I'm not getting that bit.

curiositykitten · 17/06/2012 14:47

I just had a brief look at Topshop for a blue peplum dress and if it's one of the two I saw, I don't think they are 'right' for a family wedding, and definitely more suited to a night out.

I get the feeling this is about more than the dress though...

mixedberrymilkshake · 17/06/2012 14:51

No god not that! There is a black one still online I think- but I got a periwinkle blue one from the last chance to buy rack. It's knee length with a split up the back.

OP posts:
mixedberrymilkshake · 17/06/2012 14:55

Similar but no cut outs or vile exposed zip. Knee length, high neck, lovely shade of blue Smile and because it was only £48 I can buy a nice clutch and shoes

OP posts:
diddl · 17/06/2012 15:03

If you have something suitable I don´t get why you even went shopping tbh.

Nanny0gg · 17/06/2012 15:13

How old are you?
I haven't been able to insist on what my DCs can wear to a wedding since they were 14.

Just because you are living in their house, control over your wadrobe to this extent is madness. Wear what you like.

Do you like her outfit?

kickingKcurlyC · 17/06/2012 15:19

Um, don't go shopping with your mother again.

kickingKcurlyC · 17/06/2012 15:19

Um, don't go shopping with your mother again.

MissFenella · 17/06/2012 15:42

she still thinks you are a child because you let her treat you like one. Set some boundaries!

NiceHamione · 17/06/2012 15:47

I wouldn't want you at my wedding with that sneery attitude.

mixedberrymilkshake · 17/06/2012 15:58

Good I'm not coming to your wedding then :)

Alas, I don't let her treat me like a child. I'm 24. It's more the fact that she treats me disgustingly when I don't let her do so. She's been a great mum for the most part but so so controlling over the tiny things

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 17/06/2012 16:11

YANBU to want to wear your own choice of clothes.

But YABU with your superior attitude towards your family. I held my wedding reception at a football club and it was a very classy do, thank you very much!