To have sensed weird animosity towards non-mums on mumsnet?

[ToastedTeacakes]

I really hope that I have got this wrong, but after reading through a few older threads, one in particular which concerned state benefits and low income families, I noticed quite a few comments which appeared to be condemning childless women as 'selfish'.

This really puzzled me, but the idea seemed to suggest that if a woman chooses not to have children then she ought not to expect help or assistance in her old age (from the state/other people's taxes, etc).

Now, I am not a parent (yet!), but my eldest sister (aged 46) has never been able to conceive, yet has worked almost 20 years in a care home for the elderly/terminally ill. So obviously I felt quite disturbed by the thought that she may be considered even remotely selfish or undeserving of similar help in her twilight years. Surely she is contributing to society???

Is it true that the over-riding opinion is that a childless woman has made no contribution to society, simply because she doesn't have kids?

Please tell me I'm wrong and have misinterpreted these comments - as someone (along with my sister) who has always had profound respect for mums and parents in general, this would be really sad, I think.

To be fair, these are obviously not views most people on here would share or agree with, so I wouldn't say any of this is the 'overriding opinion' on MN. Generally it's fine and no one particularly cares what your family setup is. There have been the occasional offensive and unpleasant threads about non-parents though.

I've seen a couple of remarks (in nearly two years of MN) and had a very pointed 'Do you have children?' directed at me about an education issue (when I was using my experience from working in a school to explain a school process). I don't have children as it happens and the poster was quickly squashed. Was a bit of a moment for me actually.

The occasional thread re: why do childless women frequent MN (which you may have seen) has never been done in a hateful manner.

To be fair Ephiny, I am actually very self-centred, soulless and empty.

Mwah ha ha.

AND I'm a teacher.

I've seen a few comments about our offspring working and paying taxes in future in order to pay pensions etc but these were fired back at stupid comments like "why should I pay tax to finance child benefit" and the likes.

Apologies I can't remember exact threads but they were the usual nasty benefit bashing ones.

I certainly don't think MNetters in general show animosity to anyone but you're always going to get the exception to the rule no matter where you are.

Yes, my titling is a bit crap, in hindsight.
I think that I just wanted to try and ascertain whether this attitude existed at all, or whether I had misread the comments. And if it did exist, whether it was a majority or minority thing.

I've noticed a lot of childless folks on mumsnet, it's too fascinating a website to resist no matter what your circumstances! Haven't sensed any hostility though - yet!

AlbertoFrog, they were benefits related threads, I think...a whole new topic! Read a few in past week or so, so I dare say this is how I've picked up my misinformation - all makes sense now.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, people!

There are threads that seem outraged that a childless person would dare take time off in the school holidays since parents should obviously come first.

But them I'm empty and soulless so what do I know? :o

Hang on what not having DC who will contribute to your state pension is selfish ????

Errr surely from that first pregnancy scan to blowing out candles on your 18th birthday cake DC cost the state an absolute fortune one way or another ?

I am pregnant with my first DC but have been on mumsnet for years and feel comfortable here. I've never come across that opinion before.

I have been on MN for nearly 10 years and have never witnessed this attitude. There are loads of childless women on here.

I've seen quite a few things I disagree with on Mumsnet. But have never ever seen any childless woman criticized.

Threads about threads never end well.

I've occasionally seen comments along the lines of, 'why do non-mums come on here?', but they're always just a bit thoughtless rather than intentionally hurtful of people who may be bereaved or having fertility issues.

Other than that there are far more nice comments than anything that could be understood as even slightly negative, IME.

"I can think of a number of well known and well liked posters on here that don't have children."

I don't have children, but I'm not well liked. But I've not seen the attitude described. I can guess what the response would be to anybody saying such a thing.

tiggy, It wasn't necessarily an 'attitude' that I had sensed here.....I was more puzzled, and wrote the OP to determine whether it was actually a thing with some people - but I do seem to have picked up a few unfortunate comments from a small selection of threads and got my wires crossed. I'm a bit of a tit.

Oh Tiggy! Dahlink! Is this just a very non-assertive way of asking for a cuddle from your massive MN Fan Club??

Please take your hand off that Pan.