To be a little peeved at my DH's version of "won't be long"

[ScarletLadyOfTheNight01]

Why do men say "won't be long" if they don't mean it?

I got a won't be long text about 3 and a half hours ago and I've just spoken to DH who is rather inebriated it seems and will be back in a minute. He's been round a mates having a few beers. I really don't have a problem with this, he's been working hard today, I just wish he'd said "I'm round a mates, having a few drinks, I'll probably be a couple of hours". No problem....seriously.

As it stands I've been sort of sat waiting for this "won't be long" getting seriously bored. If I know he's not going to be around for a while I could have chilled for a bit...rather than expecting him to appear at any minute.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed? I feel like I'm being silly. I really don't mind if he wants to have a drink with his friend...so I don't see why he didn't just say he'd be a while. I'm not someone to be on his case all the time, so he won't be avoiding me nagging him. I don't normally post things like this, I'm quite laid back usually.

It's worth remembering that a Man's "I'll be home in a minute", is almost the same as a Woman's "I'll be ready in a minute"

Good one worra.

My pet hate is if I ask DH to do something he will say 'in a minute ' Which actually means 'i will forget you even asked me to do anything' in less than 30 seconds!

I wouldn't mind but he is always doing it.

Hahaa fair point Worra.

I know he doesn't mean anything malicious by it...it just infuriates me!

I'm someone who if I'm going to be even 5 minutes later than I say, I'll call or text the person waiting for me.

Handy DH Translation Guide:

Quick shower = 1 hour
I'm just leaving work/mate's house/pub now = which will take at least 20 mins
I'm coming up to Tesco's now = I'm at least half a mile away

Used to piss me right off, Scarlet. My ex did the same. Just going out for half an hour and then would roll in 3 hours later, drunk.

I dont think it is an exclusively male trait...

And I know I am very guilty of it myself many times..

The thing is I HATE being one of those people who do the whole catsbumface-disapproving huffiness if their partner is late. I really don't mind what he does (obviously within reason) as long as I know where I stand and what's going on.

Maybe it's just because I can't imagine doing it myself. I went into town for a bit earlier and contemplated being ages and being vague about when I'd be back...but I couldn't do it >_

I do this. Only because my going out is so rare that I have lost the ability to judge units of time.

@Don't know about your dh but with me it is a case of wanting to do the right thing and knowing it is your only night out so enjoy.

That would be fair enough if the OP was imposing some kind of time limit. She just wants an idea of how long so she can plan her evening.

YANBU. I find this infuriating and exasperating. I frequently get, 'just sending a quick email, I'll be with you in 5 mins' when DH is still on the laptop an hour later. My theory is that DH knows he would like it to only take 5 mins, so optimistically says that. Does this unrealistic time thing only happen with 'glass half full' partners? - although sounds as if OP's DH had a full glass!

I had to stop all my kids doing this,boys and girls.I'll be finished in a minute,never was.So had to get them all to say,I'll be finished in 5 minutes,30 minutes whatever.

At last he told you where he was. Mine the other night did not even bother to say he Was going out and did not answer his phone. I went to bed only to be wokn up at midnight with him knocking to be let him. Read him the riot act and have told him next time he doesn't contact me I will not open the door. I've also had the, I'm just going out for one beer after work, to be faced with a drunken bloke in the wee hours

Oh, this is my partner down to the ground.

"I won't be long" could be anything from one hour to four.

The other night I went to bed and he was playing his game. "I won't be long" he says. 3 hours later, he climbs into bed.

Mad. Would rather he just said.

I do this.

DH knows now that "won't be long" means I will be bloody ages.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to put up with it anyway. He did make it up to me blushes, although was rather pished bless him. He brought me home a Scrumpy Jack as well to say sorry for being ages.

@Yama - he can go out whenever he pleases, I honestly don't mind. I just get a little annoyed when he says one thing then does the other. He could come in at 3am and I wouldn't mind, as long as I knew that was when he'd be in.

I guess I'll just have to accept it and if he says "won't be long" in the future I'll remember this thread