birthday party

[ladyofthemadhouse]

A question/WWYD for the wise mumsnetters.

I have soon to be six year old twins and have arranged a party for them at the local soft play centre. We've sent out 20 invites with a RSVP date of Monday 18th but so far have had the grand sum of 5 replies!

All the kids invited go to the same school and I see the mothers twice every day, but not one of the remainders have said a word.

I know it sounds unreasonable, but having suffered with severe anxiety and depression for some time (medicated) and feeling like the school leper, all I feel like doing now is cancelling the whole thing!

Help!?

Ps No school on Monday - teacher training day! :(

Extend the RSVP date by one day and ask them all on Tuesday?

Speak to them when you see them next (when is the party?) and ask them outright whether they will make it to the party. I would probably have asked them already tbh. I have had to do the same when dd/ds had parties in the past and have no shame over asking them if they can or cannot go

Don't take it personally half the time the invites never make it home

Just ask them all when you see them on Tuesday - were the invites given to the kids or the parents, is there any chance they haven't seen them?

If it had been me I'd have menioned it when I saw them, in a 'just checking you saw the invite for the party' kinda way

Yes, deep breath, and just ask. I know its hard when you suffer from anxiety to do this, but people do really just forget these things without any malicious intent. Sometimes, people even think they have RSVP'ed and actually forgotten to do it! Its not as bad as you think.

I would say this lack of replies is quite common. Most parents didn't reply to my DDs birthday party invite and I reminded them in the playground over a few days (a very gentle "I'm just trying to get numbers for DDs party - will you be able to come?" that sort of thing). Out of around 25 invites only 2 didn't show in the end. I always reply to invites and think it's common courtesy, but alot of parents just forget and need that reminder. It's nothing against you. 25% response rate is actually quite good. Other parents have complained to me before that I'm the only one who's replied!

When is the actual party? Will you have time to chase on Tues/Weds?

Are you on Facebook and friends with the parents, perhaps send a message asking

Yes-be very brave and ask. I had rsvps without prompting from only a quarter of the families for ddtwins 6th birthday bash, a session in the playground chasing up cleared up over half of them in ten minutes. People just forget, and also six year olds are abysmal at handing invites over.

Just ask when you see them on Monday perhaps say that you need to confirm numbers to the venue. I had a similar situation with DDs 5th birthday last month and i found it very stressful. I invited 20 and up to the week before I had less than 8 replies! A few replied a few days before and I did have to corner a some at school. I even had someone call me on the day of the party so say they were coming! Not easy when you are trying to plan and do party bags etc. It has definitely made me RSVP to others invitations as soon as I get them.

Print out polite reminders and get your children to hand them to the parent of their friends before going into school. Have your mobile number on it so they can text. Then the following day go up and ask them if you havent heard from them.

Many thanks to you all for replying, I know its just common sense to speak to these people, just need to find the courage to approach them! :o