MIL wanting to baby sit

[WithoutCaution]

Hi,

I'm new and have only recently found this site

I'm having a disagreement with my MIL. She's a clean freak and believes that babies (all children really) should live in sterile environments. I don't believe this as I feel it compromises a babies/childs ability to build immunity.

After spending the majority of my pregnancy telling me I should get rid of my dog, as he will obviously harm the baby [shocked] (I didn't get rid of him). She is now saying that she should do the majority of the baby sitting when I eventually go back to work (only a few days a week) as she feels my parents aren't suitable as their house isn't sparkling clean (it is clean just not to a clean freak level) and they have pets .

My parents volunteered to do most of the baby sitting and I said yes as they are a lot less highly strung than my MIL. MIL is now not speaking to me and it's annoying my DH. Our DS is our first baby and both our parents first grandchild so I understand that they want to spend time with him as he's fab but then I'm biased :)

AIBU to not let my MIL baby sit very often?

How about letting MIL baby sit at yours. She may enjoy cleaning so much that she does some of your cleaning while baby is having a nap!

there is another solution u could let the dog sort her out lol

I agree you should definitely butter her up for free cleaning babysitting ... after all, her heart is clearly in the right place even if her comments are rude (!).

But come and rant on here when you get the urge, ok?

DH bought his mum this.

It's actually pretty good, especially in terms of reminding MILs that they need to make an extra-special effort not to insult their DILs, and expect that her parents are likely to have a more major role.

Then if you give both sets of GPs an equal role, she will know she's onto a good thing.

Oh, and your DP needs to tell her to stop the comments about your, and your parents', home.

I think you should leave your baby with the person who you feel more comfortable with, regarding whether they will respect your wishes, not undermine you etc.

If you were working 3 days per week, I would leave ds with mil for one day, and your parents for two. This is because your parents most closely mirror your own parenting style and they seem like they would instil your values.

Wrt the comments, I would let dh have a word about not doing this in front of the baby and the fact that it's very rude and also none of her business. If she listens, then fair enough, let her look after ds. If not, then I would leave him with your parents.

Am not sure about her being in your house to babysit - she probably wouldn't want that, especially if you have a dog and I wouldn't fancy having my mil cleaning my home. I like my privacy.

Yanbu, it's your baby, you're the one to decide who's best to look after her. You've already said yes to your parents and your mil has shown that she reacts very badly to parenting decisions she disagrees with - hardly incentive for you to change your mind in her favour!

IsItMeOr expect that her parents will have a more major role.

Why, why...do you think that my DSs children will be any less important to me than my DDs, I hate this attitude, not only does it show the DILs true colours it's just pain nasty.

If my DS presented me with a good granny guide I would be presenting him with a right royal fuck off.

I just don't get comments about how 'lucky' you are to have this kind of problem. Mil sounds mouthy, rude and opinionated, and that's before the baby's even born. Who needs that? Just blind her with science. Print out an article a week about links between excessive cleanliness and x y or z. Keep that up every time she says something new and annoying and she'll soon stop. And bite her head off with comments about your mum and dad! Cheeky mare. Bet she was a nightmare dil as well, ironically

tell your parents they can mind your baby and your mother in law that she can clean your house.

I would worry about the effects of the cleaning products she is using, as children raised in houses that use lots of bleach tend are more likely to develop asthma and allergies I've read. Also having a pet has an the opposite effect!

This is a zombie thread. OPs baby will be around age 5 and probably in school now! Where do people find these threads?

Get her to watch your child at your house.
She won't be able to resist cleaning up your 'pigsty'
You get the baby watched and the house cleaned.
win-win.

ZOMBIE THREAD