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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH and I never eat together, ever.....

30 replies

tory79 · 16/06/2012 12:52

Ok thats not entirely true, we did have dinner together one Wednesday about 3 weeks ago, and we do occasionally get a takeaway which we eat at the same time.....but thats it.

I find it very wrong and depressing. DH doesn't seem bothered in the slightest. He works away/late regularly, so there are maybe 1-2 weeknights plus weekends when we could eat together. I offer to cook but he always says no (its not my cooking though, honest)

DS is 9 months and on 3 meals a day, so I spend 21 meal times a week sitting with him and making innane chatter, and eating my own food in between picking his up off the floor.

We have never been a couple to have loads of meals together, mainly due to his work, but we would have dinner at least a couple of times a week. This seems to have disappeared completely. I have spoken to him about this and expressed that I really want us to have some meals together, but everytime I suggest cooking something he says no.

I know someone will say this, so I will say no that yes, I do think we have some issues in our marriage at present, really though I am interested to hear if there are other people who never eat with their partner, or if I am being unreasonable in thinking its odd and wrong!

OP posts:
shebird · 16/06/2012 23:23

DH and I don't get to eat together every night in the week but we as a minimum always have a takeaway and a bottle of wine together at the weekend when DDs are in bed and always do a family sunday lunch. Food and eating together has become important to us as a family it just gives us time to sit down properly and catch up. I think it helps to teach kids about different food, cooking and enjoying the social side of things too. It probably helps that we are both foodies and both cook. It doesn't have to be every day but just sometimes is important.

Idocrazythings · 17/06/2012 09:24

Why are you "offering" to cook? Why not just do it, then sit down together and eat, or if its too late for you to eat just sit with him? Don't you leave a plate for him to come home to?

SiSiTD · 17/06/2012 20:51

I'm watching this thread with interest. Unfortunately for you OP I can't offer any advice, only sympathy as my DP is the same.

I'm a massive foodie and love meal times, taking my time and having a chat and trying lovely food . I was brought up eating a massive variety of foods. However, my DPs mum would only buy and cook food that she likes, which was an incredibly limited selection. To top it of she would serve massively small portion sizes - apparently 2 small chicken breasts - I mean tiny ones - is enough protein to feed 5 adults (2 women and 3 men) with very little else- so DP thinks that the feeling of any food in his stomach is a sick feeling. It makes meal times tedious and I have to coax him like a child to eat totally taking the enjoyment out of a communal meal as he complains about what is put in front of him.

I hope for the sake of you, OP, and your DC you are able to talk him into it.

skybluepearl · 17/06/2012 22:15

Where and when does he he eat his meals?

skybluepearl · 17/06/2012 22:16

Tell him how important it is to you and then arrange the nights/times in advance. Don't ask, just have the meal on the table ready. Explain you want to eat as a family, it's only a small thing to request.

What are you other problems?

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