To think if DD wants a blackberry she needs to give me her birthday money

[PizzaSlut]

She's been nagging for some weeks about wanting one, all her friends have BBM and I'm fed up with not being able to contact her when out and about.

So I've ordered her one on my contract (works out the same as £10 PAYG which comes out of her pocket money) but I've asked her for her birthday money to cover any overspend she may make on the contract.

She is now huffing and puffing that its unfair as she wanted a pair of converse all stars.

AIBU to do this.

That sounds etxtremely cheap... How much was the handset? Is it a contract? Does it inlcude internet access too?

Crapberries can really rack up the costs. How old is she - who will pay the monthly charges (mine's about £25-30 pcm). Plus the batteries are really crappy and need charging every other day.

Its on t mobile, 100 mins, unlimited text, 250mb internet but unlimited using the wireless router at home and unlimited bbm. Should be £15.50 a month but also got £5 a month discount for being on my contract. Free BB curve as well.

That was the reason why I asked for the birthday money in case she racked up the costs. The battery sound the same as my HTC and DH's samsung.

Got mine free on Virgin contract for £10 p/m. Have 200 mins, 300 texts, 500mb, 3000 virgin to virgin mobile mis and free BBM.

Can you not cap the monthly spend? How old is your DD? My DD would love one, but at 7.5, she'll need to wait a long long long time!

She almost 13, but she has bought envy out in my 7.5 yo who was moanig she wanted one too.

I am getting my DSD a BB curve for her 11th birthday too, but I am getting her PAYG lol

I gave my BB to my DD as it was crubbish !! She is 13 PAYG so no biggy. However her phone died. All really do have BBs depends on what you can afford.

I'm almost sure you can put a cap on what she racks up per month?

No yanbu. I told my DD the same, if she goes over the minutes then she will pay the extra. She has been used to just 100 mins on paygo now I have her on contract which gives her 300 mins, unlimited txts unlimited bbm and free internet so the only thing she can abuse is the minutes which I am hoping she wont go over, tbh she just bbm's most of the time.

My DD used her birthday money towards cost. I got her a Tesco contract 750 mins 3000 text 1 GB and unlimited bbm. Also it is capped and over 12 months so she can't run up a bill. I am not doing contracts again though but that is a long story. I would do PAYG and get a Tesco capped blackberry sim 10 a month and loads of minutes and texts and bbm. I wouldn't go with Virgin again but that is another long story.

I'm horrified. Blackberrys for 11 year olds????

We've just put DD on to a contract and she has to make up the balance in babysitting duties for dd2 to make up the difference between what she gets now and what we were paying for PAYG.

She's 14 though so maybe another year before you can broker that sort of deal.

I'm horrified. Blackberrys for 11 year olds????

I feel your horror

Blackberrys are shite aren't they?

Without going all 'Four Yorkshiremen', OP's DD is already pretty fortunate

I would think it is a bit unreasonable to take away her money on the possible future charges of the BB. Better to either get her to pay the monthly cost, and limit the spend.

I wouldn't appreciate my mobile phone company charging me at the start "in case" I overspend - which is essentially what you're doing.

If she overspends, what money does she have to pay it? Any jobs, pocketmoney etc?

Bit unreasonable to take it before she spends it I'd have thought
It's all samsungs round here
I heart my bb though

Thanks, I'm sure if she proves sensible in the next couple of months the converses will end up her way anyway, it will be like the blackberry (and the superdry jackeet before it) eventually I'll give in, she, to be fair, will not really end up out of pocket.

She already has chores to do to make up her pocket money and generally does obey the rules we set.

I agree with Jenny. It seems a bit mean to take her birthday money for IF she goes over. Its as if you are expecting her to before she has proven to you that she can be sensible and stay within her limit. Can you not say that you will take it from her pocket money if she does go over her limit? If she doesn't have pocket money, then a set amount of chores with "prices" to add up to any amount she is over??

Oh are you taking her money in advance as you feel she may overspend? if thats the case then that is unreasonable and a bit mean.

My agreement with my DD works on a month to month basis (well it will when we get the first bill in) if its over the £10.50 contract price then and only then will she pay the extra, certainly not in advance!

TBF she hasn't got her birthday money yet, so can't take what she hasn't got. But as I said I'm sure the converses will be bought for her anyway.

Let her keep her birthday money and let her decide what she wants to spend her money on. But make it clear that any extra charges will be met by her via her pocket money on a month to month basis. The first time she has to hand over the cash she will realise not to do it again.

We did exactly the same with our two Ds's and put them on contract phones. As it turned out they both got a free Blackberry and the contracts cost us £14 each a month for their plans which do include an internet allowance.
When they were on PAYG it was a nightmare as they constantly ran out of credit and never told us when it was low.
We can get hold of them as and when now and the plans are quite generous so neither has gone over the monthly inclusive allowance in more than a year.
We have pondered whether this is because they are boys though and the situation may be different as and when we decide to add our DD's onto such a scheme

I'm horrified. Blackberrys for 11 year olds????

It gets worse at the moment DSD has P5 friends with them and I would say 80% of her P6 class have them atm she has my old Samsung touchscreen BUT I am told its crap as none of her friends have it

Smurfy I can see where you are coming from and you are right it probably does get worse.
My eldest DD is in Yr 4 and some of her classmates have mobiles, I'm not sure what type and thankfully she certainly doesn't seem to know.
Our rule has so far been no phones until they start Yr 7, but as we live rurally and there are often issues with late school buses or changes of arrangements at the last minute they seemed a sensible resolution.
Our boys are now 17 and almost 13 so it doesn't seem quite so bad at their ages and as there was no difference on contract between a Blackberry and say a Nokia we chose the best on the free offer. Hopefully they will last for sometime to come.
There is no way we would allow our eldest DD to have one at 9 years old - it just doesn't seem necessary.

I think it's a bot harsh to make her give you her birthday money for charges she hasn't incurred yet. You have to give her at least one chance first. Otherwise you are basically saying that even though she is generally well behaved (you say she obeys the rules you set) you still don't trust her.

If you wanted the money to go towards the handset then it would just be that your gift of money is making up what she needs to buy herself what she wants, and that would be understandable.

But you're not. Doing it this way you are sending the message that she doesn't even deserve a chance to show she can be responsible with it, even at 13 years of age.

Does he have a mobile at all at the moment? The vast majority of year 7s I know have one, and my 11yo is capable of sticking to his phone budget and his school cafeteria account budget.

I also don't think your 7yo being jealous has anything to do with it. You can't treat one child unfairly because of another's unwarranted jealousy.