Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain to the Church?

71 replies

MrsFruitcake · 15/06/2012 21:07

We live right next door to the village church. Every 2 weeks throughout Spring and Summer, the bellringers meet to practice. This usually happens between 7.30pm and 9.00pm. My DCs go to bed at 7.30 and the noise from the bells is unbelievably loud and keeps them awake. Then they are both cranky all day Saturday and it's a sodding nightmare.

I find it hard to believe that they only time they can get together to practice is in the evening. What makes it even more annoying is that they only actually use the bells for weddings. When we asked for DS to be baptised there after having lived in the village for 6 years, they declined and said that we had to go to the church in the next village, yet the daughter of someone who lived heere for a bit in the 90s, but herself lives in London, got married in the church last summer with the full fanfare!

OP posts:
PandaNot · 15/06/2012 21:39

I can't believe after 6 or more years that you haven't got used to it by now and tune it out. I spent 4 years living next door to Durham cathedral with regular bell ringing and quarter hourly chiming and honestly didn't notice it after a few weeks. Still don't when I'm in town.

Original poster
MrsFruitcake · 15/06/2012 21:40

I didn't take it as an insult, I can't help thinking it would have been nice to have it in the church he can see from his bedroom window.

I guess they do weddings as there is a charge for them.

OP posts:
CokeFan · 15/06/2012 21:41

Ah, so the church isn't generally in use on a Sunday morning at all then? My mum's parish is a bit like that. The tiny "old" church is only used for about 3 services a year and the "new" church is the one that's used every Sunday. You can ask (nicely) to be married or whatever at the old one but I think it requires special permission.

PenguinArmy · 15/06/2012 21:41

sorry do they play once a week or daily for the two weeks?

when we first moved the bells disturbed DD but we soon got used to it. Practice once a week here, to start with on bell ringing night we put her to bed early so she would be asleep when they started.

DoingTheBestICan · 15/06/2012 21:43

You probably right op,I bet your dc hardly even notice the bell noise now really,they will have grown up with it.
At least you know the land won't be sold for a housing estate if you have a church on it.
Every cloud and all.

EdithWeston · 15/06/2012 21:43

Unlike marriage (where CofE (currently) must marry all eligible parishioners, because of the interplay between civil and Church law), Baptism is solely a matter of Church law, and if you do not fit the Church's criteria you can be refused.

Though I must say, it does seem pretty crap to decline it to a regular churchgoer. What was the reason?

StrangerintheNight · 15/06/2012 21:44

I can understand your frustration and need to vent, but don't think they are BU. However ringing past 9 is stretching it a little, and the ringers should be sensitive to this, so a gentle reminder to them to finish by the agreed time could be called for. Plus if you say the bells are unbelievably noisy, there may also be measures they can take to dampen the sound down.

Original poster
MrsFruitcake · 15/06/2012 21:47

There wasn't an official reason, they just said they don't do baptisms there at all.

OP posts:
treadonthecracks · 15/06/2012 21:50

We live 4 doors down from the church. My kids have just got used to it and now sleep through it. Hope yours learn to as well.

When we moved here we found the bells on a Sunday morning woke us up but we learnt to sleep thorough it after a couple of months, rarely notice it now.

birdofthenorth · 15/06/2012 21:54

I sympathise OP. Here it is weekly in summer 8-9pm- so finishing earlier than your's. We live a third of a mile away & it only keeps DD awake when the nights are so hot we need windows open but I do feel for the people who live nearer & have young dc. I am a regular church goer though so appreciate that bell ringing is a dying art form/ pass time & preserving it should be encouraged. I also really like the sound -though I am not next door. If you complain I would ask for the finishing time to be earlier, rather than for them not to do it in evenings at all, as this may be better received.

I am really sad they refused your baptism. What a wasted opportunity to show a very local family a warm welcome to the church community. Did they say why?

birdofthenorth · 15/06/2012 21:56

Sorry ignore last question just seen the answer! Is it a smaller/ less well attended satellite church of a bigger/ better attended church in the sane parish then? I think that's the only way CofE can " not do baptism"

BalloonSlayer · 15/06/2012 22:00

If you are regular worshippers and on the electoral roll then there is NO reason why

  • you can't have your child baptised in the church
  • you can't raise the issues you have with the church bells with the pCC]

OH! I have just seen that they don't do baptisms in that church at all. How very odd. I would assume that you would have noticed that, being on the electoral roll. It would suggest that you have a group or team ministry where one vicar looks after lots of churches. That might explain it - he/she does baptisms at certain churches.

SO . . .

Re the baptism - seek clarification from your vicar.

Re bells - PCC! (or sue whoever did your search who did not mention this)

If all else fails - WRITE TO THE BISHOP!!! (3 exclamation marks intentional)

Rabbitee · 15/06/2012 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrahamTribe · 15/06/2012 22:03

"Yes, Graham, if the mood takes me. I love a good moan, I do, I do, I do!"

Hmmm, so do I. Maybe I was being a little unkind. I've got the ass because I can't get the football on my laptop! Grin (I still think YABU though!). Grin

thanksamillion · 15/06/2012 22:04

OP I think that the baptism thing is a red herring. It sounds like (and correct me if I'm wrong) that the church isn't generally used, as in it doesn't have a regular congregation. Since part of baptism is welcoming the person into the church family I don't think it's unreasonable for the church to say that it should be done in the church where there is a family (ie a congregation). Did you have a private baptism? Or was it part of a normal service, because if so I would think this was the reason.

As for the bell ringing, if you're part of the congregation you probably know the ringers and could tell us if they're all retired/unemployed/got nothing to do in the day, or if in fact you're being pretty unreasonable?

GrimmaTheNome · 15/06/2012 22:04

I'm sure there was something in the Archers not so long ago where they got some special kit so they could practice without the bells actually sounding...does that ring a bell with anyone?

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/06/2012 22:13

YABU-don't be silly.

Hebiegebies · 15/06/2012 22:18

Bell ringers have to practice when people are available. Eg work, or in my DD's case, school.

If you can't beat them, join them.

In our last parish we did not do Baptisms in he smallest village church for various reason

We only ever had baptism as part of the regular service, if you are welcoming a child or adult into the church family the church family need to be there!

The tiny church only had services is we had the permission of the Bishop, to get permission to do a wedding I had to write to the Archbishop of C, I kid you not! He didn't agree so I then had ask my local bishop to write to the Arch Bish.

baptsim is not about the place where it happens, but about the promises, and Gods blessing. Yes, it's nice if it's your local church, but it makes so much more sense if it is your regular place of worship.

Vicars only have so many hours in their week so sadly they can't make everyone's wish come true.

ThreadWatcher · 15/06/2012 22:25

So MrsFruitcake further to my 21:12 post when would you like to swap houses with me?

Id far rather have a Norman church with bell ringers than the reality I have right now.

Happy to move anytime from june onwards if that suits you. :)

exoticfruits · 15/06/2012 22:27

People are not going to ring bells until they have arrived home from work and had a meal.

ThreadWatcher · 15/06/2012 22:27

Just reading you op again - they only practise in the Spring and Summer!

Swap houses with me and you can have noisy neighbours (for free, no extra for the swearing) all year round :o

New posts on this thread. Refresh page