to stay home rather than trekking across the city with DS3 to see a doctor? (Long)

[BoffinMum]

DS3 (age 3) has a kiddie virus, all the usual symptoms, but with the slightly concerning addition of ice cold feet, so I looked on NHS Direct for advice. He does not have a headache and he can look at light, so I wasn't hugely worried, but I thought I ought to take it reasonably seriously, considering the cold feet thing. NHS Direct advised me to ring my GP, which I did. I have been instructed by the Out Of Hours service to trek across the city with my very sleepy, poorly DS3 to get him looked at, which also incidentally means taking two other children with me (one of whom is knackered and may be going down with something himself) and causing a great faff. I am knackered too, and my SPD is bad today. And they told me that 'illness is dynamic, so even if the GP thinks he is OK during the appointment, you will need to keep him under close observation'.

Here's the thing. I actually want a home visit for once. I don't want to trek across the city in pain, with DS3 in pyjamas and a blankie, and sit around in some remote suburb until some doctor deigns to see me, patronise me and probably just send me to sit at A and E all night anyway, after being triaged by about five nurses, all of whom ask us the same things, before we are sent home at 3am feeling like complete idiots and slight abusers of the NHS.

I know all the arguments about how inefficient home visits are, how greedy we all are for wanting them, how terribly BUSY and IMPORTANT doctors are and how they can't be expected to pander to the social needs of their patients, with all they have to do, and, most crucially, how feckless people demand home visits because they have coughs or hangovers, and ring for ambulances because they have run out of Tampax or whatever. I really do know all that.

But just today, I would really, really like someone to come to have a look at DS3 in his home, in the context of his family, and tell me how worried I ought to be.

That's all. Just one of the six or eight doctors from the local practice to pop up the road and do a bit of a Doctor Finlay.

AIBU?

Yanbu, I hope he gets well soon

Well I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Not at all. I've always lived within spitting distance of a major A & E and OOH service so I've never been in your shoes but I'd be buggered dragging a sick child, a sickening child and another halfway across wherever to save a doctor having to make a home visit.

Hopefully you will trek across town and it will be a fruitless waste of time. However, in the event that it isn't and the consequences of not doing so are dangerour or life threatening for your little one, how will you feel then. That you had a chance to make a difference but didn't.

Is there anyone who can sit with the other children for you? I know it's a real pain but I don't really think, pragmatically that you have a choice. Dr Kildare would be fab, but Dr Kildare and holistic family care disappeared a long time ago.

Am I missing something here? What are the criteria for a home visit then? I'm not entirely sure your post was terribly helpful to someone in the OP's situation married - what's the gig with laying on the guilt of a possible bad outcome? Weird.

YANBU, of course.
It was one of the very worst actions of the previous government, to allow GPs to opt out of providing out of hours care. What is offered now is appalling, particularly for young kids and the elderly. A group of local GPs banded together in our area and now offer what they used to do for free on the NHS (home visits at night etc) for a mere £180 a visit. And people who can, pay it, because who wants to wait for 3 hours in some decrepit hospital among others ridden with germs to speak to a doctor with poor English? And the rest just suffer.

Can you not tell out of hours that you really cannot get there because of spd and see if they could arrange a home visit? It's a difficult one but if you're in pain I could see why you might struggle with the journey.

YANBU. I've kept mine at home on several occasions when they probably should have been checked out, because it's such a long journey to get seen.

I guess it comes down to how worried you are, and whther you'll sleep tonight if he's not seen.

I didn't know that comptoir - not having young kids anymore or ever having needed a home visit I suppose that bit of news passed me by. So you really can't just get a home visit at all anymore?

YANBU.

Just insist on a home visit.

I remember when DD was younger, she was very I'll, and kept fitting (febrile convulsions) as couldn't get her temp down, with obvious infection. Was on phone in tears as they demanded I did a 40 min journey with her in the car (and new born DS) Didn't seem to get my concern about her fitting whilst I was driving. Called DH at work, (is a doctor and was between operations and couldn't leVe despite his obvious worry) who asked them should he phone the PCT if they were that short of doctors that one couldn't help and come out...had one through the door within 20mins.

Good luck and hope you get a result and DS better soon,x

You can get home visits. But I'm not sure what the criteria are. I only know because friends who are GPs refer to doing home visits as part of their work day.

Anyway OP, I agree, a home visit would be nice.

We've had home visits before for my husband in the past year, although I was very assertive about it. The receptionist tried to fob me off by saying home visits are for older people only. the little liar

Call out an ambulance. Seriously. It is not reasonable to drag three kids across town. The paramedics will be able to see what's wrong. Could you ask someone then to sit with the other two? I would also ring NHS Direct again and say home visit (though it's true they are practically non existent now) or calling an ambulance are your only options. See what they say then.

I've had a home visit for me. They tried to tell my dh to take me to out of hours but he couldn't, I was too unwell. You can insist

I think YABU. Home visite should be for patients who cannot leave the house for some reason. The patient in this case could be taken out, so should be.

Well, I think marriedinwhite made a useful point there - I think there is a general reliance on maternal/parental paranoia, and being prepared to trek all over the place 'just to be on the safe side', and that conveniently saves a lot of other people effort. I think that's what is going on here. Some very well paid medical professionals have decided to set up an inconvenient facility in the back of beyond, where land is cheap, and buy themselves out of this kind of responsibility.

They have a right to try to get away with that. I have a right to express my need at this precise moment for a more holistic approach.

BTW I have just gone up to check on him, and he is very hot but his feet are warming up, so I am a bit less nervous now. Can't see a rash or anything.

I don't think this is ambulance territory, and I happen to know our local hospital is like Beirut this weekend, and they have asked people to avoid going up there if at all possible as it's ridiculously busy.

Probably full of people who couldn't get GP visits ... but then what do I know? I am only an ignorant patient.

Call an ambulance? are you for real?

Lentillyfart not meaning to be unkind, but if the OP can't get a home visit, I dont' think she has a choice. There is nothing as precious as one's children whatever one's personal circumstances and I would never have put my wellbeing before that of my children. I say that as a mother who refused an X-ray to diagnose a crack in my ankle so I could keep driving and attend one of dd's performances when my dh was abroad. Volterol and mind over matter did the trick for 10 days until DH got home.

When Dh was so ill he couldn't physically get out of bed, they asked me to pop him into the car and bring him to the surgery. At which point I restated he could not get out of bed and he is 17 stone so no I couldn't.

They did a home visit and took them 3 days to diagnose pneumonia, coupled with severe dehydration (due to temperature).

Op YANBU.

Boffinmum is for real. Boff - sorry - don't mean to be unkind or alarmist. Have you got anyone to turn to for childcare, lift, bit of help. Am in SW London - pm me if you need to but please don't take a risk with baby boff.

What I think you should be able to get home visits for these sorts of reasons:

1. Moving the patient would make them worse or cause them pain.
2. They are full of germs and would infect a waiting room.
3. They have diarrhoea/vomiting and may explode on the way to surgery.
4. They are bleeding all over the place.
5. There are small children in bed asleep at the patient's home, and only one parent at home.
6. Terminal illness/palliative care.

As you have a medical condition yourself that affects mobility, I would say you are within your rights to ask for a home visit for your DS.

It's cool married - didn't mean to be quite that snippy but I remember being alone with a very sick child once and having no idea what to do or which way to run. Fortunately as I say we were minutes away from A & E and I was able to get there very easily. He had cellulitis and was very ill for a while - I just know it's very scary.

With respect marriedinwhite I think you made a bad call there, as you might have had difficulty controlling the car and cause an accident. But I see your point about wanting to put your children first.

I have four kids (three at home) so there's always some sort of balancing act to be achieved when untoward events occur.

I do have neighbours who would come in and sit but I have to be careful not to look like I am crying wolf, and as I say, his feet are warmer now and not so blue looking. He's sleeping.

I think it's ok to ask too, purely because you are struggling with mobility. If you were fit and well then I'd say get yourself on the bus. But either way, please don't leave it and not get your son seen, it's not worth the risk.