to tell my collegue i am not going to this 'information session'

[Dprince]

I went to work yesterday to be told that on Monday I have to attend a 15 session on male cancer. I said no. The woman who told me is the same level as me and she reiterated I HAD to go, it was mandatory and 'you will be in trouble if you don't go'
I Asked what would happen, apparently i can get sacked! As I leave in 3 weeks i just laughed.
This is part of the 'well being' scheme. I work in a call centre so its not like i need to know these things because we are medically trained or anything.
I don't want to go as i had a breast cancer scare this year, my best friend has lung cancer, another friend has skin cancer and dads best friend recently died. Work is where i go to put these things out of my mind. I just can't face standing in a room discussing cancer at the moment. I know I am being precious, but I just can't.
Its not training just for information.
I then come into an email today from said woman (copying all my managers) reminding us what time we were to attend. I replied (to all) saying 'thank you for arranging his. But as per our conversation yesterday I will not be attending.' I was tempted to type ' I already told you I am not fucking going'
I actually suspect we don't HAVE to go but my collegue has signed us all up. She is very good about putting me and team forward for things without asking.
Someone please tell me aibu?

If you're leaving in 3 weeks anyway, what is the point in causing yourself unnecessary distress?

Could you tell this woman what you have told us and say it is too raw? Or is she the insensitive sort and not care?

YANBU to refuse to attend if it's not actually related to your job.

And especially YANBU if you're not a man.

We had similar (non-compulsory) sessions at my work.
Breast cancer awareness sessions which were open to women only, even though men can also get breast cancer.
Testicular cancer awareness sessions which were open to both men and women, despite the fact that women don't have testicles and therefore can't get testicular cancer.

I really couldn't see the logic behind that. Okay, women may find it awkward talking about checking breasts in front of men, but wouldn't men also find it awkward talking about checking testicles in front of women?

Could you go sick for three weeks due to stress?

Misslinnett, women might have husbands and sons whose lives could be saved by some information.

Yes but men might have wives and daughters.

A lot of testicular lumps are found by sexual partners, so educating women does make sense.

15 mins or sessions? if its the former it'll be over just like that, up to you if you can deal with the sniping if you don't go i suppose.

ImperialBlether, I agree with your point.

However, most of the people working in my office are men, and most of them have wives, girlfriends or daughters who might also benefit from information on breast cancer.

My point was why make attendance on a session on a cancer that mostly (but not exclusively) affects women, open to women only - when a session on a cancer that only affects men is open to both genders.

I am not saying no women should go. I actually think its a good idea for everyone to be invited men and women alike. But its the fact that its apparently 'mandatory'.
She knows why I don't want to go.

Fact of the day, more men die of breast cancer than testicular cancer in the UK.

And no, OP, YANBU if you're leaving in three weeks. Just say no.

ken she snipes most days anyway :). This won't make a difference.

Buy some ear plugs, go to the session and sit at the back with earplugs in?

Go along, and the minute the presentation is actually distressing in the way you are expecting, leave the room and lock yourself in the ladies for half an hour then say the session has made you feel too ill to focus on work and go home for the rest of the day. When you return send an email to your managers copying in this idiot apologising for the inconvenience your absence caused, that you had suspected that the session would affect you this adversely but were told that you could not be excused.

Book a Dr/Dentist/Gynecologist appointment to coincide with the session?

I like idea number 2. :)

TBH your reaction sounds a bit odd, even taking into account the stuff you mentioned about realations/friends with cancer.

My brother had cancer at 16 and survived, thankfully but my cousin had a brain tumour and died last year, sadly. It's a part of everyday life for lots of people and their families, so I guess your company is just trying to raise awareness?

I can understand how feeling fragile can make these things seem insummountable (I really can, honestly) but if I were you I would just go, uncomfortable or not, it's not a huge chunk of your day.

relations

I think its great that they are doing it. However I am struggling with what's going on, on a day to day basis. Work is where I can go and distract myself. I will be rubbish for the rest of the day.

Umm, I'd say the sooner you leave the better.

And circumstances aside you are being a bit UR. Sorry.

" The woman who told me is the same level as me and she reiterated I HAD to go"
"I actually suspect we don't HAVE to go but my collegue has signed us all up. "

If she had to sign you up, then it seems to me it cannot be mandatory (unless there are several sessions running and you just mean she signed you all up for a partiular sessions).

I wonder if she has shot herself in the foot with the email, copying the managers. Because she has broadcast to them that she is ordering around people that she does not actually manage. They might not be aware of it (no too keen on it).

(nor too keen on it). Doh!