To speak to school about this?

[Tinklewinkle]

I always stay away from gossip and bitching, I hate it and it always ends up biting you on the arse, so I don't get involved in playground shenannegans as a rule, however, this has really, really given me the hump.

Our school moved into a brand, spanking new building on Monday. The council had left it a shell and a (small) group of parents, members of the local community and business owners donated a hell of a lot of blood, sweat and tears so get the school looking ship-shape and sparkling for the grand opening.

Grand opening ceremony was on Monday and we had a celebrity to do the honours.

Each class was asked to provide a representative to greet the celeb when he arrived, and each class put all the kids names into a hat and drew one out, lottery style. My youngest got picked out of her class.

The school decided to frame a piece of art done by one of the children who would present their work to the celeb as a gift. The HT picked one anonymously (no names were included on the pictures, she chose one she liked best) and it happened to be done by my eldest (who absolutely adores art and is actually quite good at it).

Cue, endless bitching about how my kids only got picked as we help at school and her dad is a school governor.

This happens everytime my kids get picked for anything at school - we do an "Achievement Award" every week (my 2 have been picked once each), my eldest got picked to take part in District Sports, etc, nothing excessive and certainly nothing more than any of the other children.

We do help at school quite a bit, I'm on the PTA and help out with reading/etc a couple of times a week, and DH is a school governor, and we have put a lot of time into helping with the new school, but nothing amazing.

Now normally, I ignore it all, I really don't care, but this time it has got back to my eldest (a few kids have been making snide remarks in school) who was actually quite upset about it.

We've had a good talk and she's fine, but I am actually thoroughly cheesed off with this constant bitching and nastiness from various parents directed towards my children (and it's not just my kids, anyone else who helps at the school is subjected to it)

Actually, I feel a lot better for a good old rant!

By all means speak to someone at school if it'll make you feel better.

Teachers can be extra vigilant of children being snide in school.

Not much school can do about snide comments made by parents really, just rise above!

I have probably for the first time ever, seen this from another angle.

There are parents at every school who do the helping out, on the pTA,. do the cake stalls, go on the trips blah blah.

Their children do seem to be the ones who are chosen for enjoyable tasks such as the one you mention above.

It is natural for us other parents to do the 'big yawn, here we go" sort of thing.

I am a bit embarassed to admit that I must be one of the parents you mention!! Not that I gossiped at the gate or anything like that, I just knew who was going to win this and be chosen for that.

Looking from your point of view I am

Well you can speak to the school about it if you like but what do you expect them to actually do about it?

They can't Police Parent's thoughts or stop them from saying what they want to each other I'm afraid.

Glad you feel better - I would leave it and let it all die down. It's not worth it in the end and people will always moan and groan.

The school can't really do anything about it and if all you have heard is tattle tale it's hard to do anything about.

Just mark it down to experience and try not to let it get to you x

Gawd the schoolgate Mafia -I remember it well!!

You can't win can you, if you don't do your bit you're unsupportive if you do you're in the HT's pocket.

Balls to them all Tinkle the staff know you are a great supporting family & the rest can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.

I had the same & it was only when one of the TA's I knew from home said something that I stopped mithering.

She said they liked my sort of parent as I got stuck in when needed, didn't gossip at the gate & trusted the teachers to sort out the kids squabbles if there was a problem.

Can't be doing with all this bitchy one-upmanship & its a terrible example to the kids.

Ignore them ....glad you had a rant & got it off your chest!!

Oh & just to give you hope, its fab when they get to secondary school none of that, if you don't want to be on the PTA, no pressure!

You need to rise above it. But to be honest I bet the other parents have no idea how the children were chosen and so have made an assumption. I am a working mum with three children who do not tell me anything about school. Not because I am not around- they just don't feel the need to tell me the details and are not the chatty types like some of their friends. I never know what is going on at school and am not one to make assumptions ( I'm a teacher myself) but I can see how others would.

Well I can think of two solutions: 1. Ask for you children not to be involved in these things so they win nothing 2. Step down as school governors and stop being involved in PTA events.

Thank you!

I know there's nothing the school can really do, this was really the straw that broke the camels back and having got it off my chest, I feel a whole lot better for it

You need to rise above it. But to be honest I bet the other parents have no idea how the children were chosen and so have made an assumption. I am a working mum with three children who do not tell me anything about school. Not because I am not around- they just don't feel the need to tell me the details and are not the chatty types like some of their friends. I never know what is going on at school and am not one to make assumptions ( I'm a teacher myself) but I can see how others would.

Oops - posted twice!

Glad you feel better Twinkle