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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child care

14 replies

cheekypickle · 15/06/2012 14:05

I've recently posted on AIBU with my concern that DD is going to childminders too much.

I have recently been diagnosed with bi polar after a depressive spell, spent 6 weeks in hospital. Now coming out of other side of that now. Getting back to teaching on part time basis but then full time in sept

Is it okay that I send DD 10month old to the childminder in the holidays? I will have her for 2 weeks but I feel other 4weeks I'll need time to prepare for new class.

How often/long does your little one go to the childminder? Do you feel guilty about it??

OP posts:

Cockwomble · 15/06/2012 14:06

YANBU - How is it different to any other working mum? Don't feel guilty x

Original poster

cheekypickle · 15/06/2012 14:08

I don't really know any other parents that put their child into childminders as much as i do. Perhaps I don't know that many people!

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 15/06/2012 14:10

That's perfectly fine - you may not be in school but you have work to do, don't worry about it

RandomNumbers · 15/06/2012 14:10

I don't know why you are harping on about this (said kindly)

no one is going to kick you outta town for using childcare in your circs, NO ONE

Original poster

cheekypickle · 15/06/2012 14:15

Thanks random numbers, I think I worry to much sometimes

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 15/06/2012 14:19

It doesn't matter what others do. Quite honestly, right now, you need to be looking after yourself, in order to be able to look after your DD.

I mentioned your previous post to a friend of mine who has bi-polar. Her opinion 'If going to the child minder was the worst I had put my kids through because of it, they would be very thankful'.

Hope this helps.

Groovee · 15/06/2012 14:21

I still send my children to the childminders when I'm not at work. They're 12 and 9 and no adverse effects.

bitingteeth · 15/06/2012 14:24

Totally agree with mammaTJ. You need to look after yourself so you can look after DD. I know my returning to work was very important in my recovery from PND, which meant DD going to a nursery. Her being at nursery 3 days a week allows me to be a MUCH better mum to her than if we were together 7 days a week. Others may judge me for that, but I don't care. You have to do what is best for your family.

Hope you feel well again soon

Pancakeflipper · 15/06/2012 14:25

Do not worry about it. Honestly. You have had a rough trot. The fact your daughter has a happy routine with decent childcare is a good thing to have.

About 5 yrs ago I was really sick. Thankfully our nursery allowed my eldest son to do extra days and longer hrs for the 6 weeks I was out of action as a mummy. He survived! He doesn't remember it and the staff knowing the situation were super lovely ( got him to make me cards and craft stuff that he could give me when he visited early evening with his daddy) and flexible. I really appreciated the support they gave.

So you are not the only mummy out there who has done it, worried about it and wished they were not doing it. But looking back - it was the best thing for him in the situation we were in.

wfhmumoftwo · 15/06/2012 14:27

Agree with the above comments. I work full time so always sent them to nursery. I continued to send my eldest to nursery even when i was at home on maternity for 6 months with my younger daughter simply to keep the routine and consistency for him as he was settled. Do I feel guilty? Of course! but its called being a mum and i think we always give ourselves a hard time no matter what we do.

I wouldn;t worry about it, seriously, as long as she is happy and well cared for hse'll be fine and you have nothing to justify to other people.

BallerinaBetty · 15/06/2012 14:32

I used to childmind and a couple of mindees mums were teachers but still sent their children in the holidays, partly to keep them in a routine and partly to give them time for themselves.

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about it. If you look at it another way - chances are you'd have to pay childminder something, if not full fee, to keep place open so you may as well use it! As long as your dd is happy and cared for its all good!

thebody · 15/06/2012 14:43

Hi cheesy, I gave up cming 3 weeks ago but I had children for longer hours than yours, One from 6 weeks old, 8 till 6 every day. It was harder On mon tbh baby was fine.

Don't worry, get better and post on child care section to get reassurance from other cms.

Hope you feel better soon x

Pandemoniaa · 15/06/2012 16:29

I think you are continuing to beat yourself up over this without any need but I do say this kindly! Your dd will benefit no end from you being able to return to work with as little stress and as much preparation as possible. If this means she needs to go to her childminder over the holiday that's fine. If you weren't a teacher your dd would almost certainly spend the majority of the holidays there and I'm sure you'd accept this as part of the necessary arrangements you needed to make to carry on working.

Please don't feel guilty.

Rodea · 15/06/2012 18:52

Like other posters have said,do what you feel you need to,really no need to be concerned about it,but you posted exactly the same thing a couple of days ago and got exactly the same answers so I'm not sure if people reassuring you there is nothing wrong is going to make you feel better anyway.

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