Please help me NOT be unreasonable because I'm upset (re: DD's height weight result from school weighing)

[SenoritaViva]

So I get a letter today telling me that after the school weighing and measuring my DD is in the 'very overweight range'. It goes on to tell me that I am putting my child's health and risk etc. etc. (mentions cancer etc.)

And although it doesn't ring true I am clearly devastated. I also don't know DD's weight, so wasn't sure if it was right.

Call mum who agrees DD seems fine. Go to link on website stated in their letter, enter her details and DD is on the 53rd centile (not 98th) and a HEALTHY WEIGHT. In fact about perfect I'd say.

GRRRR. Have left a message for the nurse. Now breathe... any advice for me on how to handle it?

Handle what?

A simple clerical error?

Ignore it.

But ask yourself when you look at your child, "Is she fat?" If you can honestly put your hand on your heart and say that she isn't... and that she doesn't have a fat stomach (which my DS certainly did have when his came back as within a healthy range) then you have nothing to worry about.

If she is fat then you need to get her out exercising more and watch her diet.

Ignore it and next time you are at school let the secretary know that they made a mistake. She may or may not bother to pass the information on.

I agree with the others - just ignore. After a similar check up I was told that my dd has a sight problem and good hearing. She regularly had to visit the hospital so I know that her sight is good but her hearing is poor.

It's a useful test, but mistakes are bound to be made.

Children should have protruding stomachs Worra. Their abdominal size/muscles haven't matured yet to hold everything in as a teenagers or adults will.

But children should not have fat stomachs Northern....that is the big difference.

If your child has an unhealthy amount of fat clinging to their abdomen, that is not healthy.

So there's no point in receiving a letter that tells you your child is within a healthy BMI range (which is an extremely generous marker anyway) and thinking to yourself "Phew, everything's ok then because the letter says so."

People need to use their eyes and their utmost honesty in these things.

I think I'd agree with the others and ignore it.

Just roll your eyes, file the letter in the back of the red book and forget about it.

As far as the cancer things goes, I would imagine that was included in general "health problems associated with obesity" information rather than a direct finger pointing and telling off to you personally.

I had a letter back from the school telling me that my daughter had passed her hearing test only to get a letter two weeks later with an appointment at the hearing clinic because she'd failed it. My DD is now under the hearing clinic for mild hearing loss. Sometimes humans make mistakes.

If you want to contact the school nurse for clarification, then fine, but I don't think there's anything for you to 'handle' as such.

We had the opposite. Ds1 was clearly underweight/underfed because of the massive discrepency between his weight/height according to he shool nurse. He was also the absolute spitting image of his father at the same age (same height/weight almost to the ounce!).

Took him to the HV at the surgery who said she'd much rather see the measurements that way round than the other, knew he had a healthy diet/plenty of exercise etc and to ignore. Suggest you do the same!

We get a letter every year from the school nurse team informing me that my son is 'clinically' underweight, that he may have a serious illness and to get him checked out at the Dr asap.

It does hurt and cause some concern when I get these annual letters.

I get why letters are sent out as parents should be made aware as they may not realise their child is overweight/underweight. But they are not popular items of post to receive unless you have an 'average' sized kid/.

If you are bothered about the letter then take the letter and see your GP and get your daughter weighed and measured there and have a chat about the diet and exercise your daughter has. It will reassure you.

I'm not sure just using your eyes is that good an indicator any more, as we have become inured to a larger population and perceptions of normal are all too often too subjective and too shifting.

OP: now you know her height and weight, and have reworked her BMI centile, perhaps all you need to find out from the nurse that the figures you have now are indeed the correct ones. And enquire about who you need to notify about the clerical error.

I agree Edith that's why I recommend eyes and 'honesty'.

You're right though, a lot of people would look at a child with its ribs and hip bones showing and consider them unhealthy instead of 'normal' nowadays.

Chuck it in the bin and forget about it. It was mistake, don't give it any more head space.

pancake flipper - have you ever acted on any of those letters?
I agree they make mistakes, but they are there to screen out the kids who MIGHT have a problem of one sort or another.

I only ask as in her reception year DD1 was dx with coeliac disease, and if it had not been for the HV suggesting she was underheight for her age and we should get her checked out, we would have gone on thinkng she was destined to be short like me and DD2 destined to be taller like her dad

she was a quiet happy very bright child with a good appetite. she was also incredibly anaemic which we did not know (to the point of requiring a blood transfusion before they would even do a biopsy, in case she had a small internal bleed from it) we had NO IDEA - sometimes you cannot see whats staring you in the face. Had I been that anaemic I would have felt at deaths door (she was more anaemic than when I had a severe bleed following vaginal childbirth that needeed 3 transfusion and a week in hospital on a drip!)

I am glad I didn't ignore it since it would have gone on her medical records that she is clinically obese. (Outraged - the school sec. doesn't have anything to do with it, it comes from the local authority/NHS)

I remained very calm talking to the nurse and it appears they have made errors in all the letters that have gone out.

Thanks for all your advice.

Hi Phantom, yes - he has been to the Dr's twice over the letters ( he has had only have 3 letters). It does sometimes cross over my mind that there could be something underlying but nothing has shown from tests.

And he's got a younger brother with various medical issues and dietary issues which we see consultants about so like yourself I have had to educate myself in areas I would not thought I would have to consider. But I think I will note your experience and when the next letter appears (soonish I would think) then I will go back this year to the Dr.

Same thing here.DD is five and 120cm tall and 4st 2lb.Shes not fat,dances twice a week ,bikes everywhere and never sits still,treats are limited. We checked her bmi on their website and she comes out as obese as they factor age into it. Its not her fault shes tall. HV says shes bang on height for weight(factoring out her age). We are awaiting our letter! Does it really go on their medical file?