to consider ransacking the house to make sure dh *really has* thrown the last 2 cigarettes?

[StartRight]

I smoked as a student and a couple of years after graduating, but stopped before I had my dc's. I went out last Saturday night with an old university friend and had too many nostalgic pints and ended up smoking!!!!

I came home and had 2 cigarettes left in my packet of 10. I left them on the kitchen table.
In the morning I woke up and remembered with disgust what I had done. Dh had got up with the children a little earlier and was already downstairs.
I rushed down to dispose of the cigarette packet before the children saw it but - it was already gone!!!

Dh said he had put them away and he'll give them to his friend who smokes, but I did not want them in the house. Dh refused to tell me where he put them. I was very cross and said he must throw them away as I can't be trusted with them in the house.
He said he would throw them away but still wouldn't tell me where he had put them.
I am convinced they are still in the house. I have looked in the bin and not been able to see them there.

Dh says I have lost my mind, but I think he is being deliberately horrible not telling where they are and really whether he has thrown them away.

I have been stressing about this all week.
AIBU and a bit crazy or is dh to blame?

(have name changed as am ashamed of my smoking past)

why are you stressing? do you think you are going to smoke them if you find 'em?

A bit of a non-problem really

Go and buy another 10?

It is peculiar of him to have done this, but I don't quite see why you're so fraught about where they are if you don't want to smoke them.

What does it matter if you're not going to smoke them anyway?

You are making a big deal out of nothing.

How can you not trust yourself with them in the house if you don't know where they are anyway?

Are you sure you want to ransack the house so you can bin them, or do you want to smoke them?

Oh, and YABU to be 'ashamed' of smoking. It's smoking, not kicking puppies.

It is more just knowing they are there. Or might be there. I am worried I would smoke them if I found them.

Is this a normal reaction from you?

Does DH take stuff and hide as a matter of course?

I wonder if there is more you are not telling us

Ok seen your latest post

It's a bit Schroedinger's cat innit

In your case the cat is dead

HTH

If you can't find them then you can't smoke them

It could take you months to go through every last possible hiding place in your house, which is a long time to stress out about it.

Let it go, unless you happen to come across them. At which point you can go batshit at your DH for not doing as he said he would

I am normally a calm and rational person believe it or not, but I don't want to have the temptation of cigarettes in the house. I loved smoking, it was hard to give up.

Hahaha at 'the cat is dead'

It is more just knowing they are there. Or might be there. I am worried I would smoke them if I found them

Then stop bloody looking for them

The End

If you are worried you would smoke them if you found them - don't look for them!

YABU and a bit bonkers

Worral and Outraged - if you had been on a diet for ages, but then had a real craving for something sweet and knew somewhere in the house was a Twirl, would you not feel an urge to find it and either get rid of it or eat it?

I'm an ex smoker, so I can see why you are stressing.
Cigarettes are harmless, unless you actually put them in your mouth and light them. They can't harm you by just being 'somewhere in the house' and they won't jump into your mouth. So you don't have to search for them or interrorgate your OH.
Try and put them out of mind, and if they do turn up then run them under the tap, mash them up and bin them.
I would also shower, hairwash and wash everything you were wearing because you don't want that smell hanging around . It could be a trigger.

Worral and Outraged - if you had been on a diet for ages, but then had a real craving for something sweet and knew somewhere in the house was a Twirl, would you not feel an urge to find it and either get rid of it or eat it?

No

If I wasn't going to eat it, I'd stop thinking about it and go and do something else.

I'm an ex smoker and one of the first things I had to learn was that there are still cigarettes and smokers in the world. If I wanted to give up, I had to accept that and take responsibility for what I put in my body.

Exactly the same as if I was on a diet.

You sound very sensible Worral. I will try to take a leaf out of your book.

Thank you fatlazymummy. I suppose I need trust my own will power.

I still think dh should have given them to me though, so I could have disposed of them, but nevermind.

I could murder a cigarette now!

you are desperate for a fag insanity has over taken you, stop looking for them you loon .
I did the same thing when i was stopping convinced i had to have cigarettes somewhere anywhere in the house I was like a madwoman looking in jackets bags the car under my bed (incase i had kicked a packet under) .

oh and ashamed its cigarettes not crack cocaine,

If the cigarettes are hanging around 'somewhere' since Saturday night,why the hell has your dh not got rid of them totally?Or told you where he put them?I'd find that annoying too,to be honest.His friend can't be that stuck for 2 cigarettes,ffs.

I get your point about them now being on your mind...it's like a recovering alcoholic thinking that there might be a can of beer somewhere around the place.It's kind of unsettling alright.

The real reason you're extra edgy though is because,even though you only had 8 fags,you re-ignited your addiction and are still doing withdrawal.It will pass,drink lots of water and busy yourself so that you don't have too much time to brood about maybe wanting one.

For what it's worth,I think your dh is being a bit of a dick about it.But dont let him rile you,you will only use it as an excuse to have another cigarette.Rise above it.

Mrsjay thank God I'm not the only one!

What Worra said.
But good luck re-giving up.

But your DH has said that he's thrown them away. Why do you not believe him?

If I were him, knowing that you are prone to little lapses, I would have thrown them away on my commute into work. So you couldn't be tempted to fish them out of the bin.

And, likewise, I wouldn't disclose a top secret hiding place in case I needed it again !

I suspect that your DH refused to discuss where the two cigarettes are because he believed that you wanted to smoke them. Given that you're ransacking the house to look for them, I'd think that too. I'm sure he's got rid of them. Forget about them.