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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave them home alone this evening?

23 replies

loopyluna · 15/06/2012 10:02

Having a few doubts about this evenings plans. What do you think?

DH and I have a meeting at DS and DD1's future school that starts at 6pm. We need to leave at 10 to 6, leaving my 10 and 6 year old DDs home alone. (This is the bit that bothers me most -DD1 is very sensible and responsible but still young, DD2 is no bother and will be fine with her sister.)

At quarter past 6, DS, 12, gets home.

At twenty past 6, our neighbour who is the DDs singing teacher will pick up the girls for singing group.

DS will be alone to veg in front of CBBC which is fine.

The DDs will be brought home at 8pm by which time we will be back. (We should be home by 7.30 latest.)

I'm only leaving the girls alone for half an hour so am pretty sure they'll be ok. They are not nervous in the least about being home. Have our mobile numbers on speed dial, a lovely neighbour 2 doors down, know how to open the front and back doors in emergency and know not to answer the door except to DS or neighbour.
Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 15/06/2012 10:06

I think they are too young really. And supposing the 12yo gets held up?

Why not drop the girls at the neighbour at bit early if she is ok with that, or ask the neighbour two doors down to sit with them until the singing one arrives.

The 12yo should be fine.

AllDirections · 15/06/2012 10:07

I think your DDs are too young to be left and you need to make different arrangements.

And I'm all for leaving children home alone once they're at an appropriate age.

Mrsjay · 15/06/2012 10:09

can't you drop them off at the neighbours a bit early I don't think i would leave your youngest with your 10 yr old .

ChasingSquirrels · 15/06/2012 10:09

I don't know your girls, but I wouldn't leave my 6yo in that situation (I would happily leave my 9yo).
Can't they go round to your neighbour when you leave?

Mrsjay · 15/06/2012 10:09

OH i would have and did leave a 10 yr old for half n hour

SilkStalkings · 15/06/2012 10:10

I'd do it. I'd ask the 12yr old to knock on the neightbour's door to show she's home. Have the neighbour primed to pop round at 6.20 if she hasn't heard from 12yr old. Have the younger kids primed to go to neighbour if there is any problem. That way, the neughbour is only on standby, not actively babysitting.

randomfennel · 15/06/2012 10:15

It does depend a lot on the dc. I leave my 12 and 10 year old at home, separately and together, quite a bit, but not my 8yo with them for more than 5-10 minute. But I did leave dd2 when she was 8, cos she was more sensible than current 8yo dd3, who can be a bit dippy, and also tends to scream if she's upset with her sisters so it might lead to inter-sibling violence. So I take 8yo dd3 with us if we're going out, but leave the older two.

6 is quite young for a 10 or 12 year old to be in charge of. Can you send 6yo to the neighbour for that half hour?

thekidsrule · 15/06/2012 10:20

i wouldnt and im a real slacker on parenting sometimes

only now will i leave my two 13yr olds to sit my 5 yr old but thats for a night out 8-11 but then im at my local pub but thats 3 houses away

parachutesarefab · 15/06/2012 10:20

I wouldn't.

I'd leave 12yo on his own, but worry about 10yo looking after 6yo. I'd drop mine with a neighbour, with a book or two to keep them occupied and strict instructions to be no bother and no doubt come back to find they'd been offered drink, food and activities. Would your DD2 know what to do if DD1 had a serious accident, and would she be mature enough to do it?

It would save you worrying about it all day, too.

Original poster
loopyluna · 15/06/2012 10:56

I will probably leave the girls with neighbour for half an hour then but can I just ask those who think they are too young to be left, why? My sensible side can't see any reason why they wouldn't be perfectly fine, my irrational side is saying they are too young to be without an adult!

OP posts:
Original poster
loopyluna · 15/06/2012 10:59

Sorry, parachutes, I'm sure that Dd1 would know to call an ambulance, the neighbour and me, in that order, should anything happen. Given that Dd2 is generally pretty tired after a week of school, it would be very unlikely for her to be doing anything energetic enough to have an accident though.

OP posts:
ChasingSquirrels · 15/06/2012 12:56

I think the question was would your 6yo know to call if the 10yo had an accident.

Why wouldn't I do it with mine? My 6yo is just too young. I first left my eldest v briefly on his 8th birthday, and have worked up since then - I happily leave him while dropping youngest at clubs, or to go to the shop in the next village. I wouldn't have done this when he was 6, and I wouldn't do it with my current 6yo.

Additionally, leaving them together (and this is child & relationship specific) while they do get on, they do argue, the 9yo might well try to enforce his authority and the 6yo would not like that.

There are undoubtedly 6yo's who could cope - my mum as a reception/yr1 teacher had a 6yo (male) in her class with a toddler and baby sibling who just to be left alone at night (sometimes all night) with the 2 younger ones and used to feed the baby, change it's nappy etc. He coped. But is wasn't right that he had to.

niceguy2 · 15/06/2012 12:58

I think you'll be fine. It's half an hour, you say the 10yr old is sensible. It'll be fine.

Sirzy · 15/06/2012 13:01

I think a 10 year old is too young to be left to babysit personally.

AMAZINWOMAN · 15/06/2012 13:04

Why do you both have to go to parent's evening? If one of you stayed at home there would not be a problem.

AllDirections · 15/06/2012 13:49

My 11 (nearly 12) year old DD is very sensible but I wouldn't leave her with my 5 year old DD. She would panic if there was an accident or be really upset if there was any sort of incident.

It does depend on the children but 10 and 6 year olds to be left together just doesn't feel right, but I can't quite put my finger on why! I'm generally quite laid back when it comes to siblings babysitting but I do think that 10 is too young. I wouldn't hesitate leaving a 10 year old by themselves if they were happy to be left and knew what to do if anything happened.

Original poster
loopyluna · 15/06/2012 15:17

That's how I feel, Alldirections! I can't say why I'm not 100% confident about leaving them and maybe would have if I hadn't had the choice but I asked my neighbour and it's sorted.

Amazinwoman -its not a parents evening. We take turns for those! Its a Welcome meeting and cocktail for parents of children starting in September! DH would much rather be at home with the football but I want him there as I want him to be more involved in senior school than he has been in primary! He's coming!

OP posts:
halcyondays · 15/06/2012 15:52

If your dh doesn't want to go, I would leave him at home to mind the kids

BambieO · 15/06/2012 16:06

I would also maybe leave DH at home, my nephews of similar ages fight like cat and dog when they think no one is looking never mind what they would be like if they were left alone Grin

I agree with the posters re an accident, if the 10 year old fell ill would the 6yo cope/help etc, that would be a main concern

shrimponastick · 15/06/2012 16:10

I probably would leave them.

As long as there are rules. They sit down in front of the tv. Not drinks, snacks, cooking - just sit there.

you have mobile - they have a mobile.

How do the DC feel about being left? If either of them are anxious then don't do it, but if they are happy and are confident about running to the neighbour in case of emergency then fair enough. It is a good learning opportunity - and they are only going to be alone for a very short time.

Lilyloo · 15/06/2012 16:16

I would and do leave a 10 year old alone, but feel 6 is too young to be left without an adult.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 15/06/2012 16:20

I think you are crazy tbh. I chose not to attend our meeting (similar thing) last week because of similar issues...go alone!

AllDirections · 15/06/2012 18:49

OP, you've done the right thing getting childcare sorted so that your DH can go along as well. He should be involved if at all possible.

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