To be pissed off at my ENORMOUS thighs? (lighthearted whinge)

[Cockwomble]

I am sick of having "big" thighs. I am the only person in the world it seems who has chunky large thighs that stay chunky and large and cellulitey even when I am thin.

I look around all the other lovely ladies and even if they are larger than me above the bum, they have much slimmer thighs.

I just want to have delicate, smooth, slender limbs not chunky sturdy ones. AIBU? Can you give me any positives to my chunky nature?

I love you all, you have made grin like a cheshire cat and feel so much better, I am actually stifling giggles (at work)

omg my eyes are watering trying to contain the giggles at jodie

I have to laugh at them, or it'd be an all-day weepfest.

You know that thing where you run up a flight of stairs with bare legs under a skirt and wonder what the slapping noise is?

Yeah, that.

Ah, I LOVE this thread. When oh when will someone steal my idea I am too lazy and shit at fashion and start a shop called Bigarse? I would be so happy.

The best thing I have found that actually fits over the pale, flaccid landscape of my wondrous thighs fits me are the Levi's Curve jeans. It seems that Levi's have belatedly realised that not all women have their waist as their widest point, which is what jeans manufacturers seem to think . I get them in a "slight curve" which is pretty damn hilarious given what I'm working with here.

Now I am crying

Yeah. I was wearing leggings the other day as pyjama bottoms and when I unexpectedly had to go down to the living room to get something my housemates just took one look and spontaneously burst out laughing. Thanks guys.

My thighs are beyond the reach or wisdom of mere denim

Getting them into jeans requires the application of WD40, the use of a shoehorn, and a stout-hearted soul willing to assist with packing in handfuls of flesh.

God knows what I'm going to do when the trend for 50s skirts and vintage frocks finally comes to an end.

Elephants I got Levis jeans in 'slight curve' as well! I was assuming I'd be at least the demi curve!

Surely the obvious answer is carry on wearing them and live in the past refuse to bow to the vicissitudes of fashion Jodie?

I wore a 50s style dress to a party recently and I'm sure people thought I was wearing a big petticoat under it. No.

So glad I'm not the only one who has the thigh slapping on the stairs problem! I've mentioned it to a couple of friends who look at me blankly while probably trying not to snigger

My thighs have been huge ever since the MW commented on it at 3 months old and told my mother that she was overfeeding me. Can I blame it on formula?

Elephants your reasoning is sound.

I am sort of campaigning for the bustle to come back into fashion. Everyone would think, my! That Jodie has the most extraordinarily natural- shaped bustle-cage beneath her skirts!

And on I would wobble, keeping my secret safe.

Ha Baroness - I was looking at some old photos the other day and noted that even skinny little ToddlerElephants posing in her swimming costume had the same basic thigh shape of the Thunderous Elephants of today. I never had a chance

Do you want to know what's even worse: pre-baby I had a flat stomach and large but pert boobs. I also worked it a factory full of men who had obviously been discussing me. I walked into the staffroom one day and one of them turned to me and said, "Baroness, why don't you get liposuction on your thighs? You'd be stunning then."
They all nodded and looked at me expectantly......... I was so shocked that I think I just went to the coffee machine and didn't even tell them to bog off.

Baroness

Let me tell you a wee tale. Years ago I line managed this bloke who was older than me but a bit of a 'lad'. His desk was opposite mine. And do you know what he said one day? He was looking at me speculatively and said, "You know, you are so beautiful. I see you sitting down and think WOW! And then you stand up and it's like....WHOAH!!! Maybe you should just walk around with a desk strapped to your front!"

Utter cunt. Like you I had no reply...

Having a proper LOL at that, Jodie. I had to wear a bustle once (Victorian costume) and I was astonished - come ON guys, heard of overkill?

We have to laugh - in retrospect!

what utter twats of men.

I have pic of me at about 6ish wearing my ballet leotard and posing with exactly the same shape chunky thunder of thigh look despite not being fat in any way. I too never stood a chance!

To be fair, my ridiculous cello-shaped body is met with comment both positive and negative. Last summer I was innocently drinking outside a pub wearing a black dress with a belt (should have known better since the 17 inch - I said SEVENTEEN - difference between my waist and hips does look fairly bizarre) and looked up to see a man making a sort of huge figure-of-eight motion with his hands, while several people peered at me from behind

And why yes, since you ask, I am needy and insecure enough to have found this flattering

Once I was walking down the street carrying an enormous square box - a mirror or similar - that basically concealed my bodyshape waist-knee from oncoming pedestrians. I got wolf-whistled THREE times in a walk of about 200 metres.

Ooo Ooo this is the funniest of my very many arse-related anecdotes

A while back I lived in an area with a fairly large Somali population. I was out walking and this Somali woman walked towards me and hawked and spat very copiously and it just missed my sandalled foot. I gave her a Total Evil and she very sweetly apologised, and we smiled at each other and I walked on past.

Then I heard her call. "Ma'am! Excuse me!" I turned around, and she said, conversationally, "Are you English?" I said, "Yes!" And she said "Oh. Only I saw you walking towards me and I thought, there is a nice English lady, and then I saw you from behind and though, No! She must be AFrican!"

I slightly regret not having become her pal.

I have the same issue with my thighs and arse in that they are out of proportion with the rest of me. But on the positive side it means I am a pear shape which I think is a nice shape to be. I have lots of friends with thin legs but they don't have a waist and are podgy around the tummy with big shoulders. I think the smaller waist, bigger hip/bum/thighs is very attractive and it is certainly healthier. Learn to love what you have, there is little to be done about your genetics. When I lost weight I did a lot of running and body pump (so lots of squats) and after 6 months my bum and legs were very firm and toned and a bit better proportion wise.

Isn't sitting down comfortable though eh?

Ha ha Jodie! I was stopped by an African lady in the loos at a bar who congratulated me on my beautiful African bottom (I am white British by the way). I get chatted up a lot by African men actually. DH loves my bum but others aren't so keen, when I was a teenager a group of boys threw stones at me as I walked past them shouting "Look at the size of that arse!". Wankers.