to ask you all if I should have another baby?

[fullofregrets]

Hello forum of internet strangers who I am asking to help me make a decision re having a second child!
Up until now I have always been pretty set that I would only have one child (DS is 3). But just over the last couple of weeks I've started to imagine having a second baby. My head knows it is a bad plan but my heart keeps longing for another baby.

This is why I shouldn't have another baby:

1. I had hyperemesis really badly for six months of gist pregnancy.
2. am type 1 diabetic so already high risk
3. had to have a c section last time and DS was prem.
4. had pnd and really struggled the first year of DS's life.
5. DS still doesn't sleep through.
6. DH is practically no help. He is zero emotional support. He has never given me a night off or lie in since having DS. He was no help when I was sick when pregnant or following c section either.
7. my parents hate my DH and will go mad if I have another baby. Absolutely mental.
8. my inlaws are insane.
9. worried about how DS would react and if I'd love another one ss much.
10. I had an infection after the c section. Apparently it left no lasting damage but who knows. Am worried may raise risk of ectopic.

This is why I should:

1. might be nice for DS to have a sibling. Although he might hate said sibling.
2. DH wants another one.
3. If I don't decide soon it might be too late, I'm 30 and DH is older.
4. if I don't have another baby I may regret it later on.
5. I still feel like my family is incomplete.

Obviously it is insane to have another baby. Right? I know this and yet I still keep thinking about another little baby, who would grow into a lovely little boy or girl like my DS.

I think you need to address the issues in your relationship before involving another child.

All the problems other than your partner's shitty attitude seem like they could be overcome.

At 30 I hadn't even met my current husband, had my first son at 35 & am expecting number 2 at the ripe old age of 38. You have plenty of time.

But do you love your husband? Have you ever addressed his reluctance to help with child care? Surely if he wants another one he has to help out more?

Haven't got time to find new partner. Am 30.

erm what?!! Well, you're 8 years younger than me, and I'm only pregnant with my first! :) Get a grip!! At 30 i was still out clubbing and enjoying the single life big time!

I'd address the man issue first though - he sounds like a millstone around your neck...do you really really really see yourself with him for the next 50 years??!!! No offence, but it doesn't sound like it...

Yes, this!

In your current circumstances I'd think you'd be mad to have another baby.

YABU but accidents happen.

I am 38 soon. Does this mean at 40 I am 'past it' noble?

Stop making excuses for your shitty partner - what are you doing with him?!

*Obviously it is insane to have another baby. Right?"

Right!

Insane and totally irresponsible.