AIBU to be very concerned about my elderly parents?

[NightmareWalking]

Spoke to DM briefly at lunch time & she said she couldn't talk as 'some man' was coming round to talk to them about their views on the EU.

This man turned up on Sunday lunch time to book the appointment, originally booked it for Monday and then turned up Sunday evening to reschedule it as 'his wife was in hospital on Monday'. Surely you'd know about that when booking? Surely you wouldn't be doing these visits on a Sunday anyway?

Several other weird things have been happening to them in the last fortnight, phonecalls where people ask DF is that Mr _ and when he says yes, they hang up... somebody has written on the glass of their porch door, just nonsense numbers (some upside down) & letters but not kids writing...

AIBU and probably paranoid? I'm 150 miles away and can't really help. They have been concerned enough to call their local police force themselves who haven't seemed very helpful and the man is still scheduled to arrive in the next hour.

YANBU to be concerned. That all sounds very strange, especially the writing on the glass door?!

I've said I'll call them when I finish work on the grounds that that gives the man 2.5 hours to have gone but I think I'm going to spend the afternoon worrying they're being murdered/being forced into signing over their life savings or something.

YANBU. Are they able to be out? Have they a neighbour who will sit with them at least? Sounds very odd.

Do you know anyone local to them who can go round there?

This may not be sinister; DH does (genuine) "market research" for the Government and sometimes makes appointments in advance. He works any day of the week (because you miss a lot of working folk if you try Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm) and into the evenings. Topics might well include attitudes towards the EU.

The silent phone calls and writings are odd, though.

Thanks OldLady, I hope that is the case this time, I just dont like how it's all happening together.

They can't/won't go out - DF is disabled and it's not so easy for them, and I don't know anyone down there, certainly not enough to be able to find contact numbers - I haven't lived there for 12 years and the only people who I would think would be able to pop round will be at work.

His wife may have gone into hospital unexpectedly hence the lack of notice. It does sound odd but don't assume the guy visiting is anything to do with the phone calls and writing on the door, or that the phone calls and writing are anything to do with each other. It seems unlikely he'd have booked an appointment to come and murder them, he'll have been seen at the house 3 times a this rate, far too risky. I'd be concerned about fraud though. If they don't want to talk to him they could just ignore the doorbell, they're not obliged to let him in. Having a neighbour come round is a good idea.

I'd be worried too. I hope everything is OK. Cab you call them back and have then invite a trusted neighbor round for when the man arrives.
My Mom is elderly and I have the phone numbers and email of three of her close neighbors for just this kind of worry.

Cab = can

Thanks CaliforniaL, I think I'll try to set that up in case something like this happens again.

Well I feel like a numpty for getting so worried, the guy turned up and shortly thereafter the nice local community support officers turned up for a courtesy visit with my parents, the guy didn't stay long after that although apparently he did have questionnaires with him. My parents were also able to discuss the door writings with the PCSOs as well, So they're fine.

Still don't like the stuff thats happening there though!

My mum had someone call from the office of national statistics, they wanted her to complete a survey regarding pensions. She agreed, they turned up, did the survey and later sent her a M&S voucher for her troubles. I did google the office of national statistics for a bit of my peace of mind. She had them call round again this year.

The writing on the door sounds a bit though.

Feeling your pain and worry. Can you go for a visit in the next week or so and get the names and numbers of a couple of neighbours?

You never stop worrying about your children or parents do you?!

Very pleased your worries today were unfounded.

I do sit ins with an elderly neighbour of mine when she has visits like this. It reassures her family who live a long way away.

Maybe an odd suggestion, but could you find out the number of the local vicar and get them to call round? Even if your parents are not churchy people, vicars are usually a)good with visiting elderly people and b) concerned for the welfare of people in their area.
(or rabbi/imam)?

I'm seeing them for Father's Day so I will try to get that info then although they won't like the idea that they need looking out for yet :o & good idea about the vicar - Mum's methodist minister is very good at visiting her congregation.

Regarding the nonsense letters : an elderly aunt of mine had nonsense symbols chalked on her fence, it was basically a code to say "elderly woman lives here on her own"! The pcsos came round and removed the symbols and gave her a magnet to go on her fridge with various contact numbers.

samithesausage that's really unnerving about the symbols

Now that I know that I will be keeping a closer eye on my elderly neighbours.